


Tattooed Heart

by KyloTrashForever



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A Wild Feelings Appears, Bad first impression, Bartender Ben, Ben Has A FILTHY Mouth, Ben is a Tease, Dirty Talk, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Porn, F/M, First Meetings, GOD THE DIRTY TALK, Gratuitous Smut, How Dirty CAN I Make This Ben?, Military Ben, Mistaken Identity, One Night Stands, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, PLOT CENTERS AROUND A ROUX WEDDING, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Plays Hard To Get, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Snarky Ben, Spanking, Tattooed Ben Solo, Tattoos, Teasing, Tropical Reylo, Tumblr Prompt, Under The Table Shenanigans, Vaginal Sex, Wall Sex, We’re On The Smut Train Now, destination wedding, elevator smut, no names, smut in chapter one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-09-12 17:30:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 51,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16877169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloTrashForever/pseuds/KyloTrashForever
Summary: Rey Johnson has found herself down on her luck lately. A week long vacation to Hawaii for her best friend’s destination wedding should be just the thing she needs, only her day has been hell. Hell, heryearhas been hell. When the hot bartender with thatfuckingmouth makes her an enticing proposition, she finds herself unable to refuse.Besides, it isn’t as if she’ll ever see him again...Now with a translation in Russian!В сердце отпечатана





	1. That Fucking Mouth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Semperfidani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semperfidani/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [В сердце отпечатана](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19257250) by [Scofie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scofie/pseuds/Scofie)



> Fuck, guys. I _know_. I had every intention of sitting on this one, but then I fucking loved this filthy ass first chapter so much I just... _couldn’t_. This was a tumblr prompt given to me by the lovely [Semperfidani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semperfidani/pseuds/Semperfidani), who not only gave me this killer prompt, but then proceeded to bounce ideas with me for hours fleshing this out. Prompt based on [this](https://kylotrashforever.tumblr.com/post/180789325700/kathknight-lilyevansreyjakuu-this-is) post. This wouldn’t exist without her! (Enabler, *cough cough*) I sincerely hope this lives up to what you wanted babe!  
> Thanks to my betabetches, [gopherbroke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gopherbroke/pseuds/gopherbroke), and [ohwise1ne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohwise1ne/pseuds/ohwise1ne) for always indulging my incessant prodding for validation. I love you ladies.

* * *

 

 _Perfect_. She thought. _Just perfect._

She wrung out the now sodden strands of her hair underneath the awning to the bar, cursing her luck for what had to have been the hundredth time that day. Her flowing azure maxi dress now clung to her indecently, the soaked thin fabric wrapped around her legs in an uncomfortable way.

Her day had started with a delayed flight, and ended in a sudden downpour. Now not only was she late to dinner, but she looked like a drowned rat to boot. This was _Honolulu—_ who would have anticipated a surprise shower?

The last few months had been a whirlwind for Rey Johnson, and not one that someone might call pleasant. It had started with her childhood best friend, Rose, getting engaged— her long time boyfriend not only proposing but insisting they move in together which left Rey without a roommate and scraping for rent. She’d moved into Poe and Finn’s for a short time, and that had been an okay solution until they’d been given PCS orders to transfer to another base in another state. That left her _again_ without a roommate, and on her salary she found herself once again struggling to make ends meet.

All of these events had landed her _here,_ having been flown out to Honolulu on the dime of Rose’s fiancé for a week-long stay leading up to the wedding. Of course that had to go wrong too, arriving at the airport an hour early just to find that her flight had been pushed back until later. Was all that not enough to satisfy a lifelong quota of disappointment? Apparently not. Finally arriving at her destination and having stashed her luggage at the hotel, she’d been urged by the concierge to walk to the nearby bar as he assured her that it would be a relaxing experience.

She was _still_ cursing that man.

It had taken all of two blocks for the skies to open, and she’d run almost half a mile in sandals and a dress. That was the sordid tale of how she found herself sopping wet outside of a strange bar in a strange city, cursing fate and hotel strangers and anything else she could think of that might be to blame for her bad luck.

Once inside the dimly lit bar, she was left chilled by the overhead fans turning in place, no doubt to combat the normally warm air. At that moment it did nothing but cause her skin to break out in goosebumps, shivering slightly as she cursed that too. She spotted her friends at a table near the back, Poe noticing her unfortunate figure and waving her over.

Poe gave her a sympathetic look as she approached. “You um, forget your umbrella?”

Rey blew out a frustrated breath. “Don’t start.”

He raised his hands in mock innocence, his boyfriend nudging him in the ribs even as he shrugged off the light jacket he was wearing. Finn handed it over, urging her to cover her chilled shoulders, and she mouthed her thanks.

“At least one of you is a gentleman,” Rey grumbled in Poe’s direction.

Rose frowned, leaning across the table to squeeze her hand. ”I’m _so_ sorry,” she offered. “We should have waited for you.”

Rey waved her off. “Don’t even. It’s not your fault my flight was delayed.”

Rey noticed two people she didn’t recognize at their table, and she gathered the man must be final part of Hux’s groomsman. Hux hitched a thumb towards them, introducing them. “This is my friend Mitaka and his wife Phasma. Mitaka went through basic training with me.”

She offered them a grin, them returning it kindly. “Sorry about the rain,” Phasma sympathized. “Apparently it’s still technically summer in September but you just never know when it could open up.”

Rey nodded wearily. “Yes, I probably should have read the travel guide a little more.”

She glanced around the bar then, noticing the sleek decor and ambient lighting. “This is a nice place.”

“Yeah, my best man’s uncle owns it,” Hux explained. “They were both stationed here at MCBH.”

Rey must have look confused, because he quickly clarified. “Marine Corps Base Hawaii.”

“Oh,” she affirmed. She noticed they were one short then, and she cocked her head in question. “Where is your best man?”

Hux shrugged. “Working, as always. Can’t slow down that one. He said he’ll try to come say hi if it slows down but if not we’ll all get to hang out tomorrow.”

She nodded. Noticing their drinks she added, “I need to get me one of those.”

Poe hitched a thumb towards the bar across the building. “Good luck. It’s so crowded in here tonight. You might have better luck waiting for a waitress to notice you.”

Rey shook her head. “I’ll be fine. I’ll be right back.”

Poe shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

She rose from their table, pushing through the thick crowd of bodies and making her way to the wide bar at the other side. There were three bartenders working behind the counter, each one seeming preoccupied with other things and she leaned on the solid bar top in an attempt to get someone’s attention.

The one nearest stood with his back turned to her, his long black hair touching the collar of his tight fitting black dress shirt. His sleeves were rolled to the elbow, and even from this angle she couldn’t miss the array of ink littering his arms. She frowned— she’d never really cared for tattoos.

“Excuse me!” she shouted over the music.

He turned, giving her a glance from the side and eyeing her sad state. She was a little surprised by his face, or more so by how appealing she found it.

That _mouth_ … were men supposed to have mouths like that?

“You look terrible,” he remarked.

Oh, that _mouth._ What an asshole. “Excuse me?”

He gestured to her drenched figure. “You didn’t check the forecast?”

She scowled. “Obviously not.”

He shook his head. “That’s just not smart.”

“I don’t need a lecture from someone who looks like a— well a— a _degenerate_ or something,” she groused.

He barked out a laugh. “A _degenerate?”_

 _“_ I mean all the tattoos weren’t enough?” she grumbled, fully indignant at that point. “You have to pair it with that grungy hair style? Just who are you trying to be?”

“You’re not from here are you?” he wondered, ignoring her jibes.

“No I’m not,” she affirmed. “Not that it’s any of your business. What does that matter?”

He didn’t answer, just continued to grin at her as if enjoying a private joke at her expense, which only made her angrier. “Can I just get a drink so I can get back to my friends please?”

Another bartender seemed to have picked up on their one-sided budding altercation, crossing the space behind the bar to interrupt. “Hey Solo, you want me to handle it?”

 _Solo—_ what kind of name was that anyway— gave the other bartender a shake of his head. “No, it’s cool man. I got it.” Turning back to her he added, “What can I get you?”

She considered, realizing she actually didn’t know what she wanted. “Anything strong and sweet.”

He smirked at her, giving a nod and turning to pull down ingredients. She watched as he mixed some bright-looking beverage, a mixture of red and orange and topping it with an orange slice and she had to admit it looked delicious. She reached for her tiny purse she kept slung over her shoulder, but he waved her off.

“It’s on me,” he assured her.

She raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“I’m thinking you need it,” he chuckled.

She eyed the drink skeptically, realizing an admittedly (albeit _begrudgingly)_ handsome stranger had just bought her a drink. Did that count as an upside to her horrid luck? She took a sip, finding it delicious and glancing back up at him in question. “What is it?”

He winked. “Sex on the beach. Like I said… I think you could use some of that while you’re here. Might help your attitude.”

Her mouth fell open, her chest growing hot with anger and she let out a frustrated growl. She turned on her heel, leaving the handsome asshole to his laughter and heading back to her table.

Rose smiled at her when she approached. “Hey, was it awful trying to get a drink in all that?”

“Something like that,” she muttered as she sat down.

“Hey, did you meet Ben?” Hux wondered.

She took a sip of her drink, shaking her head. “Who?”

“My best man,” Hux clarified. “He’s working the bar tonight.”

Rey scoffed, wondering if perhaps that was the nicer seeming bartender who’d interrupted her conversation with the asshole. “‘No, I didn’t, but didn’t you say you know the owner?”

Hux nodded. “Yeah, Ben’s uncle. Why?”

She rolled her eyes. “He’s just got some asshole bartenders.”

Poe frowned. “Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

Rey waved him off. “No, no, it’s fine. Let’s just forget about it.”

He nodded, eyeing her drink. “What did you get?”

She frowned, shaking her head. “Don’t fucking ask.”

* * *

God, she needed another drink. Her clothes may have dried but her mood was far from improving. If anything the alcohol might have made her a little more sour. She knew she was being a complete buzzkill, and she felt bad for bringing down the mood of the group, but couldn’t seem to shake away the melancholy she was feeling from that terrible day.

“I think we should get you out of here,” Rose worried.

Rey snorted. “I’m _fine._ We’re having fun.”

“Maybe _you_ are _,”_ Poe snarked.

“Shut-up,” she scowled. “I need another drink.”

“Oh no you don’t,” Rose affirmed. “You’re cut off. Alcohol just makes you mean, I think. We’ve already told the waitress.”

She rose up, teetering in her chair slightly and scoffing. “ _Fine,”_ she groused, moving to her feet. “I’ll get it myself.”

She ignored the sounds of them urging her to come back, moving back through the crowd which had started to thin a little. She found her way to the bar, leaning over the edge and waiting patiently for someone to find her.

“You look a little less drowned and a little more drunk,” came a deep voice beside her.

She frowned, having _almost_ forgotten those deep brown eyes and that frustratingly sinful mouth. “Oh, it’s _you.”_

“Don’t seem so disappointed,” he laughed.

“You’re an asshole,” she remarked matter-of-factly. “And I’m not drunk. Not yet. Can you help me with that?”

He shrugged. “I’ve been called worse. Here for more sex on the beach?”

She narrowed her eyes. “As if I’d let you.”

He grinned coyly. “I’m just offering you a drink, sweetheart. Don’t get excited.”

“Why are you such a dick?” she groaned.

“Because you’re kind of hot when you’re pissed off,” he replied honestly. His eyes fell to her cheeks, heating with blush or alcohol she didn’t know. “But if you’re looking for more than a drink I might be so inclined.”

She wrinkled her nose. Did he just…? “What makes you think _I’d_ ever _be so inclined?”_

The corner of his mouth turned up in a lopsided grin, shrugging one shoulder. “I could think of a few reasons.”

She snorted, rolling her eyes. “You seem awful confident. That usually means you’re overcompensating.”

He leaned across the counter then, his face dangerously close to hers. “Well how about it, sweetheart? Want to find out just how _compensated_ I am?”

She sucked in a breath, her retort dying on her tongue as her pulse picked up a few dozen beats per minute. He nodded across the room, her eyes following his gaze towards a dark hallway in the corner. “I’m about to leave the bar, walk down that hallway, and grab some stuff from the cellar. I’d be willing to bet it’s been a criminally long time since you’ve had a good fuck— and I’m more than happy to take care of that for you. You want to know if I’m over compensating?” he asked, leaning impossibly close so that his lips almost brushed against her ear. “Then you come find me.”

She watched with an open mouth as he strode off, never once looking back at her as she stood flustered against the bar. He couldn’t possibly be serious… could he? Her heart hammered away inside her chest, sounding in her ears like a drum and leaving her deaf to all the commotion that still roared around her.

“Hey, can I help you with something?” a voice interrupted.

She jumped, noticing the other bartender looking at her expectantly and eyeing him in confusion. “What?”

“Do you need something?” he repeated.

“I…” she trailed off, still flustered from what had just occurred. She glanced back towards the dark hall tucked away in the corner again, swallowing heavily. She’d never done anything like what she was considering in her entire _life._ She was not that girl. She wasn’t anything _close_ to that girl. Not to mention tall, dark and tattooed was so far from her usual type it was laughable.

He was probably some deadbeat bartender who picked up intoxicated women all the time. He probably used that stupid mouth of his to charm them right out of their panties. So why was she telling the bartender she was fine? Why were her feet carrying her through the crowd towards where she knew he was waiting for her? Her legs felt heavy with each step, and yet still her pulse raced with exhilaration at the idea of doing something so dark and foreign.

She would surely never get an opportunity like this again. She didn’t know this guy, would likely never see him again, and if she was being honest with herself… he was the best looking thing she’d ever seen on two legs with a mouth that she was quite sure religions were built around.

She found herself at the door before she’d even registered her path across the bar, carefully staying out of sight of her table of friends and praying they didn’t come looking for her. Her hand rested against the door, debating a final time whether or not this was insane.

Actually, she _knew_ it was insane… but that’s what made it so God damned tempting. Maybe she needed a little insane in her life that _she_ controlled for once.

She took a deep breath, pushing the door open and stepping into the dark room. “Hello?”

“Lock the door,” came his quiet voice.

She could just make him out from the glow of a light pouring out of an open door that seemed to lead into an office of some sort. It was just enough to make out the shape of him, his broad form silhouetted in the dim light as he leaned against a shelf. She complied to his request, his voice sounding in the near darkness as she did so. “Couldn’t resist, huh?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t make me regret this already.”

He pressed off his perch, stalking towards her even as she instinctively backed away. “I’m going to give you something a lot better than regret.”

“So fucking sure of yourself,” she groused. “How do you get anything done carrying around that giant ass head?”

She could practically _feel_ his answering grin, his laugh coming out in a low rumble. “How do you know it’s giant? You haven’t even seen it yet.”

She groaned, reaching out to tug at his shirt before she changed her mind. “Shut the fuck _up_ already.”

She pulled him down to her, crashing her lips against his. For a moment he seemed surprised, still in her hold before slowly letting his hands curl around her waist. He pushed her against the door, molding her to him as he moved his lips over hers with more force. She let her hands wander over his torso, feeling the hard ridges of what was surely a very toned body beneath the fabric. She found herself wanting to feel more of it.

She broke away to focus on the buttons of his shirt, pulling each one through their adjoining hole with as much speed as she could exert without tearing them off.

“I haven’t even got your name,” he whispered roughly. “Mine’s—”

She shook her head, reaching to cover his mouth. “No names.”

He nodded against her palm, not arguing. She continued her work, finally wrenching his shirt apart to find a tight fitted white t-shirt hiding underneath. She pushed her hands under the cotton, letting them roam over the taut skin and humming in approval.

She only allowed herself to enjoy him for a moment, quickly moving to work at the button of his jeans.

“Someone’s in a hurry,” he rasped, and she knew if she could see him better he’d be smirking.

“My friends will be wondering where I am,” she reminded. She paused, looking up at him. “Not up to the challenge?”

He let out growl, grabbing at her shoulders and spinning her to press her into the door. “You’re playing with fire, sweetheart.”

She felt his lips at the bend of her shoulder, moving over the soft skin lightly. “Tell me you’re sober enough for this.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m stone cold sober now,” she admitted truthfully.

“Good,” he rumbled. “I want you to remember me tomorrow. I want you to remember where I’ve been.”

She whimpered softly, his words traveling straight to her core and she squirmed against him. He bent to grab at the hem of her dress, slowly inching it up her legs to bunch it at her waist. She felt his fingers grazing at her inner thigh, so close to where she needed him and yet so far away.

When she finally felt the press of his fingers against the thin cotton of her underwear, her mouth parted in a soft gasp. He rubbed at the now damp fabric, humming low in his chest.

“You’re already so fucking wet for me,” he groaned in her ear. “Do you know what I’m going to do to this little cunt?”

She whimpered, that _fucking_ mouth filling her with a fire unlike anything she’d ever known and all she knew was that she wanted _more._ She shook her head, her lip trapped between her teeth as his fingers still traced a lazy path up and down the length of her clothed slit.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard you feel it _days_ from now,” he promised. “Stuff you so full of my cock that every step you take tomorrow you’ll be thinking of _me.”_

A moan escaped her, her body practically vibrating with need. “Stop fucking talking about it and _do_ it then.”

He growled, using a knee to push her legs further apart and she heard him rustling in his jeans followed by a crinkling of foil.

“Are you always this prepared?” she hummed, a darker part of her mind reminding her he probably did this all the time. She pushed that thought away, focusing only on what was happening _then._

His hands gripped at the band of her underwear, leaning in to let his lips brush against her ear. “These are in my way.”

With one sharp tug they fell apart in his strong hand, a soft cry escaping her. “ _Hey._ You can’t just _—”_

 _Thwack._ A sharp sting across her ass silenced her, and her shock remarkably morphed into a blooming heat between her legs. “I can. I did. These are mine now.”

She swallowed, his hands falling to her waist to bend her. She braced her hands against the door, her head falling forward when she felt the thick head of his cock pushing through her drenched folds. He felt _huge,_ and she wished then that she could see him properly.

“Are you ready for me?” he purred, rolling his hips to push through her soaked core slowly.

“Stop talking and _fuck_ me,” she growled.

“Since you asked nicely,” he teased.

Finally, _finally,_ she felt him pressing inside her, splitting her to the point of almost pain as her muscles burned and stretched to accommodate him.

“Oh _God,”_ she moaned, pressing into his hips to ease him further inside.

She felt his breath at her ear, his voice coming out tight and grated. “What do you think?” he rasped. “Am I overcompensating?”

She grit her teeth as he stroked into her, every slide of his cock tortuous as her pussy fisted him tight as if unwilling to let him go. He snaked a hand around to her front, parting her thighs impossibly wider. “Hold on.”

Suddenly his fingers were digging roughly into the soft swell of her hips, sure to leave marks as he set a punishing pace, fucking up into her without restraint. Every thrust jolted her, her entire body moving with his beyond her control.

“ _Fuck_ you feel fucking incredible,” he grunted. “You take my cock so fucking good. _So good.”_

He really never shut up. Only in that moment every fucking syllable from his filthy mouth burned her hotter. Every word caused her to clench around him, her mind struggling to cling to some semblance of coherency.

“I hope you think of this tomorrow,” he moaned. “I hope you feel me inside you long after I’m gone. Fuck _me_ ,” he grit out, “l want this tight little cunt to feel me for _days_.”

His thrusts were becoming sloppy, his fingers a sudden shock at her throbbing clit as he stroked her furiously. ”Want to feel you come,” he urged. “Come all over my cock.”

Her moan was loud and unabashed, falling apart around him as her thighs shook with the struggle to remain standing. He gripped her thighs the minute she began to come, lifting her by the hips so her feet left the ground and pounding into her with a ferocity that left her breathless. She felt him so deep that she knew without a doubt she _would_ feel him tomorrow, possibly long after.

Then he was coming, slamming into her and holding her tight against him as a string of incoherent babblings left his mouth. She felt his cock twitching violently as he filled the condom, her hands pressed flat against the door to steady her suspended body as his head came to rest between her shoulders.

There were no sounds save for their collected gasps and the pounding of her own heart, so loud a beat she thought perhaps he could hear it too. It was several moments later that he pulled out of her, groaning brokenly as he left her empty and sated.

He let her dress fall gently back over her thighs, and she heard the clinking of his belt as he situated his own clothes. That tiny sound of metal against metal seemed to shock her into clarity, the realization of what she’d just done crashing around her like a bucket of ice water.

_She’d just fucked a stranger without even knowing his name._

What must he think of her? She let this bother her for only a second, assuring herself that she didn’t _care_ what he thought of her. He was just some inked up bartender that she would never see again. Everyone needed a wild story, right? This was simply hers.

She cleared her throat, turning slowly to find him close behind her. He let his hands rest on either side of her at the door, caging her in. “I might need your name.”

She shook her head. “No names.”

“You want to pretend you don’t want to do that again?” he accused.

She frowned. “Always so confident.”

“I know what I felt. You fucking _loved_ that,” he assured her.

She remained quiet, refusing to make this into something more. Best to recognize it for what it was. One meaningless moment. One meaningless moment that she would never forget for as long as she lived.

“Thanks for that,” she offered evenly, refusing to let her voice betray her. “I need to get back to my friends.”

“You really don’t want to tell me your name?” he pressed.

She shook her head, and he sighed, releasing her from his embrace. “That’s a damn shame, but that’s your decision.”

She nodded, grateful. “Well… see you.”

God, this was so awkward now. No one ever talked about the awkward _after._ Then again she suspected if they did, no one would ever do this. He grabbed at her arm as she turned to leave, holding her in place.

“I need you to know that was fucking incredible. Even if you don’t think of me tomorrow… I’m sure as fuck going to be thinking about you,” he promised.

She swallowed, needing to get out of there as fast as possible. The air had grown too thick and breathing had become difficult. She pulled out of his grip, exiting through the door quickly and walking at a determined pace back through the bar. She never slowed until she was back at their table, needing to get out of that bar as fast as humanly possible.

“Where have you _been?”_ Rose hissed. “We were really worried!”

She shook her head. “Bathroom. I’m feeling sick.”

“Oh no,” Rose worried. “Come on, I’ll ride back with you to the hotel. The boys are wanting to wait around for Ben anyway.”

Rey nodded gratefully, just needing out of there. Phasma decided to come back with them, leaving the guys to wait for their friend. Rey left the bar in a flustered rush, never looking back. His words filled her thoughts like a fog, leaving no corner unoccupied.

_Even if you don’t think of me tomorrow… I’m sure as fuck going to be thinking about you._

As if there was any way she wouldn’t be also. As if she could ever _forget._ She was quiet on the ride back, her mind lingering on the only regret she carried from the entire experience that she’d just indulged in.

That mouth… that _fucking_ mouth… and she hadn’t even heard it say her name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Is it hot in here? No big deal. It’s not like she’ll ever see him again. Right?


	2. Takes Two To Tango

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all— HOLY FUCKING SHIT GUYS. The response on chapter one... I’m literally blown away. Thank you guys so much! Here’s hoping this heavy dose of tense plot is as satisfying as that tense pr0n. ❤️ You may have noticed I upped the chapter count to ten, I actually have no idea how long this will be but ten sounds more realistic. I wouldn’t be surprised though if it ups again. Plot is getting in the way of my porn. 
> 
> Gorgeous moodboard by my love [gopherbroke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gopherbroke/pseuds/gopherbroke)! I haven’t been able to stop looking at it.

 

* * *

 “Are you sure you’re feeling better?” Rose wondered.

 _No._ Rey grumbled internally. “Yeah, just didn’t sleep well.”

 _I wonder why?_ She’d tossed and turned all night, a deep throbbing between her legs and too many fresh memories of too large hands and even larger… well, other things.

“Well, today will be better,” Rose assured her. “You love the beach!”

Rey grinned back at her, unable to disagree. She’d even splurged on a new suit for the occasion, a bright yellow number that made her skin seem to glow. She wore a flowing navy coverup dress over it now, her hair thrown casually into a messy bun and bright white sandals at her feet.

Rey and Rose climbed out of the elevator then, padding across the lobby of their hotel towards the back deck area where they were supposed to have breakfast. Hux had texted Rose already to say he and the guys and Phasma had already went down, and would be saving them a seat.

It had been Rose’s idea for the guys and girls to stay on separate floors, saying that the weeklong separation would make her and Hux’s wedding night more special. Rey had heard Hux grumbling about it no less than ten times the night before, and she knew he’d only went along with it to appease his fiancé. Phasma and Mitaka were the only ones who’d been left exempt, only because of their married status.

“When is Paige getting here?” Rey wondered.

“Not till Thursday at least,” Rose informed her. “She had a surgery scheduled for Wednesday morning that she couldn’t push back, so she plans to hopefully fly out either that night or early the next morning.”

“Dr. Paige Tico,” Rey gushed. “I still can’t believe it.”

Rose snorted. “I know. It’s hard to imagine the girl who out drank a linebacker saving lives.”

They both broke out in laughter, remembering the night fondly. Paige was only a couple of years older than Rey and Rose, and they’d followed her around incessantly during their high school years. Rey hadn’t seen her in a year or so, Paige having been busy with her residency, and Rey was looking forward to catching up.

“Plus,” Rose added gleefully. “You haven’t met Ben yet. I think you two will hit it off.”

Rey groaned, the memory of a certain tattooed bartender still invading her thoughts and not even wanting to _entertain_ the idea of another man for a long while. “Please don’t tell me you’re thinking of setting me up.”

“Oh come on Rey,” Rose teased, nudging her with her elbow. “Live a little. A little vacation fling might be just what the doctor ordered.”

_If only you knew I’d already filled the prescription…_

_“_ I don’t think I can handle that right now,” Rey informed her, having seen the evidence of her claim firsthand only the night before.

Rose sighed. “We’ll see. He’s dreamy though.”

“Don’t let Hux hear you,” Rey laughed.

“Oh don’t worry,” Rose assured her. “Totally not my type. Too dark and broody. But I have to admit he’s nice to look at. The tattoos aren’t bad either.”

Rey stiffened, memories assaulting her all at once by a simple word. Flashes of swirling patterns caging her in as he pounded into her from behind— no, she’d had quite enough of tattoos thank you very much.

“I think I’ll pass, thanks,” Rey assured her.

“Well play nice at least,” Rose urged. “We have to be together for a week after all.”

“Hey, I can be nice,” Rey laughed.

Rose shot her a skeptical look. “Sure, Jan.”

Rey was still shaking her head when they pushed through the French doors that led out onto the deck, spotting Hux and Poe slung casually on one side of a table near the railing with the rest of their party seated on the opposite side. They crossed the deck, making their way towards the others, still chatting with one another.

She didn’t see the dark hair that tumbled onto his shoulders. She didn’t see said shoulders stretching the black button down he wore above bright blue swim trunks. Didn’t see the colorful etchings of ink creeping from beneath the sleeves. No, she didn’t see any of it. It was only when he laughed did she halt, that sound joining the dozens of other soul binding sounds that had left that _fucking_ mouth and proceeded to haunt her dreams.

There was no way.

There was no _fucking_ way.

She’d heard someone call him _Solo_.

Although, _Christ,_ that wasn’t a real fucking name. How could she have possibly thought that was a real fucking name. Was she really that stupid? Oh God, surely her luck wasn’t _this_ bad.

Only he was turning, and even behind mirrored shades she would know that face in the thickest darkness. Would know the way his mouth turned at the corners in a smirk that she’d replayed over and over again in her restless sleep. Would he call her out? Make a scene? Embarrass her in front of everyone?

She realized she was still standing frozen on the deck, her eyes boring a hole into the side of his face as he stood to greet her. She faintly recognized Rose introducing them, her words barely registering amidst the crushing wave of shock that was currently drowning her.

He grinned wide, extending a hand that she could only stare at for several seconds before letting her gaze trace up the inked patterns that decorated him from wrist to far beneath the rolled up sleeves of his shirt.

“Hi,” he greeted warmly. “I’m Ben. Ben Solo.”

Of fucking course he was.

* * *

 She was nothing more than a ball of nervous energy. He’d barely looked at her throughout breakfast, the handful of times his eyes _had_ collided with hers being heavy and pointed. His eyes said he saw right through her. Said that he knew just how much their encounter had tormented her.

Still, to his credit he never mentioned it. Never even alluded to it. He’d taken her name when she’d quietly given it, proceeding to take his seat once again and fall into casual chatter as they ate their breakfast. She couldn’t tell if she was irritated or not by this. Was he so unaffected? Had he went home and promptly forgotten what had happened between them?

A thought occurred to her then, his casual demeanor and easy acceptance of her being the missing member of their party like a slap in the face.

Had he _known_ exactly who she was? She thought back to the night before. He had to have interacted with the others earlier in the evening. He would have known where they were sitting. Was it even possible he hadn’t spotted her with them at some point? The thought festered and burned in her belly, blending with indignant embarrassment that she couldn’t shake.

She tapped her foot incessantly, chewing at the nail of her thumb in a nervous manner and finding herself needing the answer. She only needed to get him alone.

Getting him alone proved much harder than she might have thought, the boys sticking close to one another after breakfast as they all decided to make their way to the beach. Poe and Finn had brought a cooler of various drinks, and Ben was currently helping Poe lug it across the sand as he joked with Hux about his pale complexion.

Hux was grumbling about the whole thing, matters only made worse when Rose demanded he let her slather him in too much sunscreen and forcing him to wear an awful floppy hat that clashed with his bright red hair.

Still, her eyes were on Ben. Did he really have no plans to address this? For her it was like a crackle of electricity, sparking between them and leaving her too alert and on edge. She sat herself down under the umbrella Finn had just finished setting up, pulling her knees up and hugging them as she watched the others begin to strip down to their suits with the intent of enjoying the water.

Big mistake.

She watched Ben Solo undo the buttons of his shirt slowly, chatting idly with Poe as he revealed inch after inch of pale skin. She almost swallowed her tongue when he pushed it over his shoulders, the action causing every taught muscle of his abdomen to clench and contract, drawing her gaze. She found quickly the tattoos went all the way up, blooming over his shoulder blades and even extending beyond down his back. She frowned, still not seeing the appeal. She’d never really liked them.

Still… painted over the thick muscle of _his_ arms... she couldn’t deny that it was a distraction. Rose jogged over to her, adorable in a bright red bikini that flattered her skin tone. “Aren’t you coming? We’re going to take a swim.”

“You go ahead,” Rey mumbled. “Still feeling a little sick.”

Rose frowned. “Man, I hope that clears up soon or else you’re going to have a terrible week.”

Rey had to hold back a snort. If she only knew. “Yeah,” she said instead. “Me too.”

Rose jogged to catch up to the others then, and Rey rested her forehead against her knees. She was awash with conflicting emotions, embarrassment warring with curiosity that threatened to spill into anger as still she wondered if Ben had known all along.

She felt him before she saw him, his large body plopping down beside her on the blanket and leaning back on his hands casually. She looked up at him, her eyes widening slightly as he regarded her curiously. She couldn’t see his eyes behind the mirrored lenses of his sunglasses, but his mouth was drawn into an even line.

“So,” he said finally. “Rey, huh?”

“I almost thought you’d forgotten about me,” she grumbled.

He grinned then. “Not even for a second, sweetheart.”

She felt her face threaten to flame, looking away before he could catch it. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I assumed that would embarrass the fuck out of you and that you’d want to keep it quiet. Was I wrong?” he wondered.

She shook her head. “No, I’m grateful. Thank you.”

She watched her friends playing in the surf, chewing idly on her lip as she considered the question she wanted to ask most. Finally taking a deep breath, she turned to face him. “Did you know?”

She watched as his eyebrow shot up from beneath his shades. “Know what?”

She frowned. “Don’t play dumb, you know exactly what I mean. Did you know who I was?”

He was quiet for several moments, seeming to study her. When he spoke, it was even and low. “I didn’t know your name.”

She scowled, her voice rising slightly. “But you _knew_ I was part of your party.”

He nodded slowly. “I had a hunch.”

She huffed out an angered breath. “What, was this some sort of weird game for you?”

He stared off in front of him. “I don’t play games, Rey.”

She felt herself growing heated, feeling like the butt of some awful joke. He’d known who she was from the start. He’d _known_ they’d meet each other again. Now because of him she had to spend an entire week being forced to keep near him, flooded with embarrassment by what she’d done.

“I can’t _believe_ you did that,” she hissed.

He laughed then. “Takes two to tango.”

“I would have _never—_ if I’d know that you— _never_ —” she sputtered.

He shot her a wicked grin. “Oh, I think you might have. You needed that,” he smirked. He eyed the navy material of her dress, curious. “You going to take that off anytime soon?”

She narrowed her eyes. “What’s it to you?”

He shrugged. “I’d like a peek at everything I missed out on last night.”

“Are you always _such_ an asshole?” she groaned.

His lips quirked into a teasing grin. “You didn’t seem to mind it last night.”

She scowled, not giving him the satisfaction of a response. He hummed then, not content to let the silence stretch.

“So tell me, I’m curious… do you?” he wondered errantly.

“Do I _what?”_ she huffed.

He leaned, his voice at her ear so low that it almost made her shiver. “Do you feel me today?”

She growled, moving away from him to stand. “Hardly,” she lied, knowing she felt him with every step, just as he’d promised she would.

He rose to his feet, moving to crowd her space as he ducked to let his face linger levelly with hers. “Lying isn’t a good look for you, sweetheart… but if you want to know a secret,” he murmured, letting his eyes trace a lazy path down the gauzy material of her cover up before returning to meet hers. “I still feel you, too.”

She swallowed, unable to respond as heat burned through her chest. She bit her lip, furrowing her brow in indignance and stomping away from him. She heard his easy laugh drifting from behind her, and she knew then she was in trouble.

Ben Solo was dangerous… and it seemed like he might not be done with her. It didn’t matter… she was done with him. Or at least… that’s what she told herself.

* * *

She did her best to avoid him for the rest of their time at the beach, only having to directly engage him when she’d been roped into a game of beach volleyball by the others. She had to admit she’d felt an intense flood of satisfaction when pulling off her cover up had resulted in a slightly stunned Ben getting nailed in the face by a stray ball. She was just glad he was as much affected by her as she was him.

Not that she was _that_ affected. Sure, he was wickedly good looking with arms that seemed like they were built to hold you and a chest that was broad enough to picnic on but she wasn’t _that_ affected. She knew if she kept telling herself that eventually she would have to start believing it.

For the most part she’d actually had fun, able to put the debacle behind her for the sake of the group and somehow able to not have any more one-on-one moments with her not so one night stand. It was not until much later, long after the sun had gone down and Poe had spent far too much time trying to get a fire going on the sand (Finn having to step in to finish the job) was she finally forced to interact with him again.

He’d taken advantage of her sitting alone on the other side of the fire, where she was watching all the happy couples quietly from across the flames and secretly feeling slightly jealous of their effortless bliss. He took a seat beside her, keeping quiet for a time as they sat in comfortable silence.

“So are you a bartender or a soldier?” she asked finally.

“I’ve been in the Marines since I was eighteen,” he sighed, “but my uncle bought the bar when he went into inactive duty, and I help out when I can.”

“Hm,” she replied thoughtfully. “I see.”

She glanced down at his arm that he leaned back on, studying the blends of colors and grays covered his skin. Curious, she pointed to a large rose that drew her eye. “This one’s pretty I suppose.”

He smiled softly. “It’s for my mother.”

She quirked an eyebrow, surprised. “Really?”

He nodded. “My dad always called her his Wild Rose. Said you could plop her down in the thorniest of places and she’d still come out beautiful and strong. She’s a spitfire, my mom.”

Rey nodded appreciatively, having not expected a big guy like Ben to openly admit he’d gotten a memory of his mother tattooed on his skin. She didn’t like how pleased that knowledge made her.

Silence yet again stretched between them, and she thought perhaps he had nothing more to say. She barely heard him when he finally spoke, the softness of his voice telling, and she knew he’d been thinking about it for awhile. “I’m sorry,” he offered. “I should have been more honest.”

She considered that, huffing out a breath finally and shaking her head. “I’m not sure it would have mattered anyway. Obviously I was more than willing.”

He grinned softly, nodding slowly in agreement. He made to open his mouth then, but she quickly continued before he had the chance. “ _But,”_ she pressed, “it doesn’t matter. It can’t happen again.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Why not?”

She frowned. “For a million reasons. Take your pick. You live here, I live in San Francisco. You’re the best man of my best friend’s wedding, there’s no way us getting involved won’t cause problems for them, because there’s no way this has a happy ending. Plus, you’re not really my type.”

He scoffed. “I seemed to be your type last night.”

“Only because you were so far from my type that it made you appealing for my first wild encounter,” she clarified.

“Gee,” he grumbled. “Thanks.”

“Listen, I don’t mean that hatefully,” she assured him. “Obviously you’re ridiculously good looking, and you’re more than adequate in… _other_ departments… but I know your type.”

He smirked. “Oh do you?”

She nodded assuredly. “You’re the type of guy who asks girls for a quick fuck in a bar storeroom, the type of guy who carries a condom on hand—”

“Hey, show me a single guy who _doesn’t_ have a condom in their wallet,” he interrupted.

She held up a hand. “Regardless, I have enough complications in my life without adding one more.”

“Sometimes complicated can be fun,” he argued.

She frowned. “Why do you even care? I’m sure you could have your pick of the litter out here.”

“You can pretend that you didn’t feel the connection between us, but I can’t. I’m not sure I’m ready to just let that go,” he replied truthfully.

She sucked in a breath, not expecting such candor and having to look away for fear her eyes would betray her. “It’s not a good idea, Ben.”

“Sometimes the worst ideas make for the best stories, Rey,” he contested quietly.

Her lips parted slightly, scrambling for a response, but was saved by the blessed interruption of their friends.

“What are we talking about over _here?”_ Poe teased, striding across the sand to plop down beside them.

Ben’s expression quickly morphed into casual, shooting Poe a grin. “Oh, just telling Rey here about the time you almost drowned during basic training.”

Poe snorted. “Well if _someone’s_ big ass hadn’t tipped the damn raft…”

Ben laughed loudly, his easy transition from the serious air that had hovered over them before to this cool humor only asserting Rey’s suspicion that he was exactly who she thought. He probably had any number of women lined up in wait for him, and within a few days he’d forget all about her.

She stood from the sand then, sharing one last brief look with Ben before breaking away from his heated gaze to go and join the others on the other side of the fire. Ben Solo was not the type of man you played around with. She kept trying to remind herself of that. He was fire. Much like the one that crackled between them, both physically on the sand and figuratively in the air around them whenever they got too close. Pure, blazing fire… and she wasn’t looking to get burned.


	3. Loosen Your Grip On Those Pearls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a lot of you asked for a Ben POV chapter and tbh it doesn’t take much to prod me in that direction because I _love_ his POV. Hopefully you like a look into his head! :)
> 
> Moodboard by the wonderful inspiration and promoter of this fic, [Semperfidani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semperfidani/pseuds/Semperfidani)!

 

* * *

 “So, whose bright idea was it to exercise on vacation?” Poe grumbled.

“That’ll be the bride,” Ben quipped back.

Poe groaned, slumping his shoulders forwards even as Finn rolled his eyes. “First of all,” Finn chastised, “it’s hiking. People do it all the time for recreation. Secondly, a little exercise never killed anyone. With the way you eat you should probably do it more.”

Poe shot his his husband an incredulous look. “Did you just call me fat?”

Finn snorted. “Hardly. Drama queen.”

“Because I’ll have you know I know I have a six pack. You’ve seen it. Hell, you’ve—”

“I’m begging you not to finish that sentence,” Ben grimaced.

Hux joined them then, decked in appropriate looking hiking boots, khaki shorts, a crisp white t-shirt and a tan bucket hat that protected the pale skin of his face. He looked like he’d just stepped out of a travel magazine. Ben eyed his outfit with amusement, smirking.

“Did Rose pack your _entire_ wardrobe for the week?” he teased.

Hux frowned. “She means well. How stupid do I look?”

“Oh no, you look fine,” Ben assured him. “Like Bear Grylls’ paler, nerdier little brother.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Hux laughed. “The girls haven’t made it down yet? Also, where are Doph and Phas?”

“I haven’t heard from Rey this morning,” Poe remarked, “but Doph texted and said they’re on their way down.”

Ben tried not to look eager at the mention of her name, his eyes already moving towards the elevators in hopes she might appear through them. He wasn’t entirely sure what it was about Rey Johnson, but he couldn’t seem to leave her alone. It didn’t help that she fought him at every turn, only making the desire to win her even more prominent.

He knew that not telling her immediately who he was had been a dick move, but he’d read her type. She would have found every reason she could as to why she _shouldn’t_ want him, and would have denied herself what she so obviously _did_. Hell, she was proving his point in the aftermath.

He’d just never had such a visceral reaction to a woman before. When he’d first saw her, that rumpled frown and adorable scowl had been like a light switch someone had flipped on. It lit him up like a unused room and he wasn’t quite ready to go back to the dark just yet.

Movement at the elevator doors caught his eye then, and he watched as she stepped out of them with Rose in tow. _Fuck_ , it didn’t help matters at all that she was the most enticing creature he’d ever met. All long legs and tanned skin and that _fucking_ mouth. Pink and soft and always ready with a quip to tear into him. He secretly loved it when she showed her teeth; she was like a hellcat that he was more than willing to coax into submission.

She caught sight of him as they crossed the lobby, and the smile she’d sported for Rose’s benefit quickly morphed into that scowl that oddly forced a grin at his own mouth. So fucking _grumpy_. He let his eyes pass over her outfit, a bright red tank top with some band logo on it about pilots, whatever the fuck that was, and tight jean shorts that had him suppressing a groan. Her legs were on full display, and the sight of them just made him want to bury his head between them. He needed to get those thoughts under control.

She tried to avoid him altogether— moving to pass by him without collision but he was having none of it. He stepped in her path, forcing her to stop and she frowned up at his intrusion.

“Morning,” he offered, grinning down at her.

She bit her lip, a flash of teeth indenting into the soft pink that he’d been thinking about for the better part of thirty-six hours (but who’s counting?).

“Morning,” she returned begrudgingly.

“Did you sleep well?” he pressed pleasantly, refusing to let her grumpy demeanor deter him.

“Sure,” she shrugged. “I guess so.”

“You weren't lonely?” he teased. “Because I’d be happy to offer my company if you need it.”

There it was. That little wrinkle between her eyebrows that he couldn’t get enough of. Her entire face had this way of scrunching up when she was pissed off, and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why it turned him on so much. She probably thought he would just give up this pursuit of her and move on to someone else. He knew what sort of aura he gave off, but she obviously didn’t know enough about him. He could be patient when the end result was worth the wait, and he knew firsthand just how worth it she was.

“I made it just fine without you, thanks,” she scoffed, trying to move past him.

He caught her arm, pulling her closer as he leaned into her ear. “I didn’t,” he admitted. “In fact the only thing that’s gotten me by is my own hand and the memory of you on my cock, but that’s not nearly as satisfying as the real thing.”

She sucked in a breath, and he watched as a blush crept up her neck. He knew he was a bastard for teasing her like this, but he couldn’t help it. Seeing her flustered was quickly becoming like some sort of heroin fix. She was just so fucking _cute_.

She jerked her arm from his hold, shooting him a glare as she glanced around to make sure no one had heard. He knew they hadn’t. He would never compromise her like that. He wasn’t _that_ much of a bastard.

“You’re a monster,” she accused.

He barked out a laugh. What an odd thing to say. Not that he could disagree. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

She huffed out a breath, clearly out of sorts. “Do you _always_ have be so filthy?”

He grinned. “Loosen up your grip on those pearls, sweetheart. You clutch them that tight they’ll bruise your hand.”

 _Ah, another forehead wrinkle._ Fuck, why did he like that so much? She shook her head, turning away from him to catch up to Rose. He glanced again to her tight shorts, her perfect ass filling them in a way that was almost sinful and grinning to himself. Maybe this hiking thing wouldn’t be so bad after all.

* * *

“Bloody hell this is torture,” Phasma grumbled, her lilting accent somehow pleasant even while complaining as she sat herself upon a large rock to catch her breath.

“You fucking said it, sister,” Poe concurred, taking the space next to her to sit.

Finn shook his head at his husband, turning to share a look with Dopheld that spoke volumes about their grumbling spouses.

Phasma pouted at her husband, rubbing her ankle. “Carry me the rest of the way?”

“Babe, you’re five inches taller than me,” he reminded her gently.

She swore under her breath. “Bollocks.”

Ben caught Finn’s eye and mimed a drinking motion, silently asking for a bottled water that he kept in the hulking pack he’d been lugging all over the hillside. Finn tossed him one, and he drank from it greedily before tossing a bit at his neck to cool himself off. He caught Rey watching his efforts, and he winked at her, causing her to blush furiously as she turned away.

He’d been trying to talk to her more the entire excursion, but she’d been stubbornly difficult, always making herself scarce or launching into a conversation with someone else to deflect him. He’d never worked so hard to talk to a girl in his entire life. Hell, he’d never _wanted_ to _._

 _“_ There’s supposed to be a waterfall nearby…” Rose murmured as she studied her guide map. She glanced up to look around, her face scrunching in concentration before nodding to herself. She pointed off to the north, looking determined. “I think it’s this way.”

Hux was studying his forearms, grimacing. “I think I’m already burning.”

Rose looked smug. “I bet you’ll listen to me next time when I try to get you to put on more sunscreen, huh?”

“Yes, dear,” he sighed.

Their group took off in the direction Rose pointed out, trekking through the undergrowth in search of the landmark Rose had been searching for all morning. Ben was starting to think it didn’t exist, but he’d quickly learned not to argue with the bride.

It took another half hour before the sounds of rushing water could be heard, and Rose all but clapped in delight as she rushed off towards it. The group followed, a tumbling torrent coming into view as it emptied into a wide pool of clear water. The girls wasted no time in kicking off their shoes, toeing at the water's edge as the guys sat around the shore to rest.

Ben watched as Rose splashed water at Rey, Rey squealing with glee and kicking back a spray of her own. He couldn’t be sure, but he suspected it was the most carefree he’d seen her since meeting her. He wondered what _he_ could do to make her smile like that. Probably stop being such a shit to her… but that didn’t seem very fun. He needed to find a better blend of both.

He was so absorbed in his study of her he didn’t notice Poe plopping beside him, nudging him in the ribs. “Nice view, eh?”

Ben looked away quickly, trying to feign innocence. “Yeah, it’s pretty out here.”

“Uh huh,” Poe retorted with narrowed eyes. “You going to pretend you haven’t been staring at Rey all day?”

Ben hummed in thought, shrugging one shoulder. “No, I guess not.”

“You should just talk to her,” Poe suggested.

Ben almost laughed. “Trust me, I’ve tried that.”

“Were you your usual charming self?” he shot back with a roll of his eyes.

Ben did laugh then. “What are you implying?”

“That you’re a shit,” Poe immediately answered.

Ben snorted. “Fair enough. She’s a tough one to crack, that one.”

“She’s had a rough go of it,” Poe sighed. “Especially lately. She’s just… always had to sort of fend for herself. It makes her guarded.”

“What do you mean?” Ben pressed.

Poe pursed his lips. “I don’t think that’s my story to tell. I’m just saying… she’s worth getting to know.”

Ben nodded heavily, already suspecting that very thing and working to do just that. “I’m patient.”

Poe clapped him on the shoulder. “I know. Just be a little less of the shit we all know and love.”

Ben barked out a laugh. “Ten-four.”

He was still laughing when he glanced back at Rey, seeing the next few moments happen in slow motion and unable to stop it. He watched as she slipped on what he could only assume was a slippery patch of rock, losing her footing to fall at an awkward angle as her face contorted in pain.

He was off the ground and in the water before he could blink, pulling her from the water to cradle her to his chest even as she continued to hiss out in pain. He carried her from the pool, setting her on a nearby rock. Even through her grimace she was giving him a confused look, his immediate rushing to her side seeming to jar her. He had to admit it had jarred him as well, reacting completely on instinct in that moment and going to her aid without second thought.

She was looking at him expectantly, and he gave a slight shake of his head. “Sorry, training kicked in. Man down and all that.”

She nodded slowly, wincing as his fingers brushed against her ankle. He inspected it gently, the others crowding around them in worry.

“It’s not broken is it?” Rose asked anxiously.

“Give him space baby,” Hux urged. “Ben had some EMT training. Let him look at it.”

Rey’s lip was trapped between her teeth, her discomfort reading all over her face as he tried to assess the damage. He finally shook his head, sighing in relief. “I don’t _think_ it’s broken… just sprained hopefully. She might need to get it looked at. It’s going to be a bitch to walk on though.”

Poe let out a deep sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God we can go back to the hotel.”

She huffed out a strained breath, trying to smooth her features. “I’ll be fine. You guys still wanted to see the cliffs. I don’t want to ruin the trip.”

“Of course you aren’t going to keep going on that ankle,” Rose tutted. “Your suffering isn’t worth a great view.”

“I’ll take her back,” Ben said suddenly. “I can carry her on my back.”

Rey’s mouth parted slightly, her eyes widening at his sudden outburst. “No,” she protested weakly. “It’s fine. I can walk.”

She attempted to stand then, immediately grimacing and returning to a seated position to suspend her ankle. Ben smirked. “Yeah, you look like you’re ready to skip home.”

She scowled, Ben having to suppress a laugh knowing that would only make her less receptive to his help. “What’s the problem? It’s just a piggy-back ride.”

She bit her lip, knowing that to argue with him she would have to reveal why she was less than eager to be so close to him. He watched as she wrestled with her decision, finally giving him a slow nod of assent. “Fine.”

He tried not to look to smug as he grinned back at her, turning to crouch so she could lean over his back and loop her arms around his neck. He grabbed at her thighs, hooking her legs around his waist and hoisting her up to stand. He ignored the smirk Poe was sending his way, informing the others he would take Rey back to her room and hook up with them later.

Then they were off, trekking back the way they’d come with a sullen Rey slung over his shoulders. She was quiet for awhile, and he suppressed the urge to let his thumb stroke at the soft skin of her thighs as he held them in his grip. He could feel her crushed against his back, realizing quickly she must have only had some sort of thin sports bra under her tank because he could feel every curve of her breasts pressed against him and he had to bite back a groan.

The urge to comment on it was overwhelming, and he bit his lip so hard to suppress it he could taste blood. He was being good. He could be good.

“Thank you,” she murmured eventually.

 _Fuck_. He felt her shift, and was almost certain he could feel her nipples through his t-shirt. Must. Not. Comment.

“It’s nothing,” he replied instead. “How does your ankle feel?”

“It’s throbbing a little,” she admitted.

He nodded. “Yeah, we’ll get you some ice back at the hotel. If you lay off it tonight and keep it iced you might be walking easier tomorrow.”

“So… EMT training?” she wondered.

He shrugged. “Just a little, you learn a little of everything out there.”

Silence stretched between them again for a time, and it was several minutes before she felt her finger at his shoulder just under the cut off sleeve of his shirt. “Is this an eagle?”

He glanced to the spot, eyeing the tattoo there. “A falcon, actually.”

“What’s that one for?” she wondered.

He chuckled. “I thought you didn’t like them?”

“I never said I did,” she hmphed. “I was just curious.”

He grinned wider, her indignant tone endearing somehow. “My Dad was an Air Force pilot for most of my life. His fighter plane was called _The Falcon._ He um… he died a few years ago. That’s when I got it.”

He heard the inevitable gasp of sympathy, and suppressed the urge to make a joke to lighten the mood.

“I’m sorry,” she offered quietly.

He shrugged. “That’s life.”

“You know I… I never knew my parents,” she admitted.

He remained quiet, afraid to comment for fear of losing her moment of sharing.

“They left me when I was only a baby,” she murmured.

“Fucking assholes,” he grit out. “I’m sorry, Rey.”

“It’s fine,” she replied flippantly. “Whatever.”

He grit his teeth, feeling an odd sensation in his chest when he thought of her too young and all alone. The world was a shitty place sometimes.

The rest of their hike back was relatively quiet, Ben wracking his brain for something to say to her that would cause her to open up again and coming up empty. He was navigating uncharted territory now, having never wanted to know someone like he wanted to know Rey. It made him nervous. Made him say stupid things.

Before he knew it they were standing outside her hotel room, her handing him the key from her pocket and him pushing inside. He carried her to her bed, sitting her down on the comforter. He realized then just how alone they were, and with the way she was looking at him she seemed to realize it too.

He cleared his throat, gesturing to her ankle. “Let me get you some ice.”

She nodded to the mini fridge in the corner. “There should still be some in there.”

He worked quickly, retrieving a dry rag from the bathroom and an empty ice bag that he promptly filled from the freezer. He wrapped the bag of ice with the rag, kneeling in front of her to assess her ankle. It had started to bruise slightly, and he turned it this way and that to ensure she could still move it. She hissed in pain, but otherwise seemed fairly okay.

“Yeah,” he affirmed. “Just sprained I think.”

He cupped the back with his palm, pressing the ice to the darkest part of her skin where she’d seemed to have connected with the rock. She grimaced at first, the shock of the cold jarring her but her expression quickly morphing into a sigh of relief.

“That feels good,” she admitted.

He nodded. “Good.”

He let his palm slide up the back of her calf to angle her closer, and he heard her breath hitch as he did so. He glanced up at her, her eyes darkening slightly and he realized she was more affected than she pretended. He met her gaze in challenge, slowly letting his thumb trace a heavy circle at her skin and watching as she trapped her lip between her teeth.

“You know,” he murmured. “I’ve thought a lot about what I would do to you. If I were alone with you like this again.”

He watched with bated breath as she regarded him, her chest rising and falling a little faster than before. He wondered if she would meet his challenge, or if she would instead tell him to leave.

“What would you do?” she whispered, his pulse quickening at her blatant arousal.

He hummed in approval, glancing down at her leg and letting his hand slide upwards to skirt along the inside of her thigh. “I’d take my time with you. No quick fucks in a dark room. I’d peel off those fucking shorts that I’ve been staring at all day and unwrap you like a fucking Christmas present. Then I’d spread you out over the mattress.”

His eyes flicked to her face then, and he saw her swallow heavily. Her voice seemed to have dropped an octave when she replied, coming out throaty and rasping and only turning him on further. “What else?”

He dropped the ice pack he held, his other hand pressing at her thigh opposite the one his fingers were currently pressed against and pushing her legs apart slightly. She let out a shuddering breath as he let a finger graze over the denim seam between her legs, meeting her eyes and watching them widen. “I’d want you to come on my tongue first. I’d want to fuck you with my mouth until you were _begging_ me to stop.”

She sucked in a breath, shivering slightly and he pushed up to stand as he let his arms fall to either side of her. She fell backwards to her elbows, her tongue moving to wet her lips and he stared at the slick path it traced.

“And then?” she whispered.

“When you were desperate… when you were _needy— then_ I’d fuck you. _God_ , Rey. I’d fuck you into this mattress until you left a fucking _impression.”_ He was breathing hard now, barely touching her and yet painfully turned on as if he were already inside her. “I haven’t thought about anything else. I can’t get the way you felt out of my head. I keep telling myself I had to have imagined it… _nothing_ can possibly feel as good as you felt around my cock. Like you were fucking _made_ for me.”

They were so close— so close he could lean in and kiss her and he knew in that moment she wouldn’t turn him away. Only… if he did that… they’d be right where they started, and tomorrow she would be cold again. So he made a decision.

He glanced once more to her lips, already hating himself but pushing away from her to lean and grab the ice pack. He put it her slightly trembling hands, giving her a grin. “Too bad you said we can’t ever do it again.”

Her mouth fell open, a growl escaping her. “You—ugh!”

He smirked. “Unless you’ve changed your mind?”

She bit her lip, frowning deeply before shaking her head slowly.

“That’s too bad,” he sighed. “I’ll tell you what. You come find me when you change your mind.”

“You mean _if_ I change my mind.” she grumbled.

He gave her one last heated look at the door, grinning. “No, Rey,” he winked. “I mean _when.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhh what a fucking tease! (I lowkey love.)


	4. Keep It Casual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whatever. I took the chapter count off. I have no idea when this will end I’m sorry. 😂  
> I’m so sorry I didn’t get to your comments last chapter! I’ve been moving and at the same time updating my anonymous exchanges and they got away from me. I saw them, I loved them, and I love y’all. ❤️

  

* * *

 She stared at the closed door through which he’d left for a very long time. Her body seemed to almost vibrate with a thrumming need, keyed up beyond recognition once again by Ben Solo. Just beneath her arousal lay a heavy layer of simmering anger, unsure as to whether she’d rather fuck him senseless or deck him right in that _fucking_ mouth.

Why did it have to be so full? So _pink?_ Not to mention the words that fell from it. Even now she could hear his low voice in her ear, rasping all the things he wanted to do, and if she closed her eyes she could almost _feel_ him still looming over her.

“ _I’d fuck you into this mattress until you left a fucking_ impression _.”_

She groaned as she fell back against the comforter, heart pounding in her chest and a deep throbbing between her legs she couldn’t shake. She hated even considering what she currently was, but the condition he’d left her in demanded attention and she cursed Ben Solo under her breath for making her this way. Or perhaps she was only angry he’d _left_ her this way.

Except… that was what she’d wanted. Right?

She couldn’t even be sure in that moment. The only thing she could focus on was the state he’d left her in and the need to address it. Throwing her principles aside, she quickly unbuttoned her shorts, shoving the denim down her thighs as her underwear followed to trail a finger through her slick folds.

She groaned softly as she teased at her entrance, gathering the wetness there and dragging it upwards to nudge at her clit. She pressed into it, circling it slowly at first as she shamelessly recalled the one who’d made her this way. His voice lingered in her ears, filthy words wrapping around her and images of the mouth that spilled them prominent in her mind.

She wondered what that mouth would feel like, covering her body as it traveled over her skin to settle where he’d promised it would. She imagined his tongue circling her clit then instead of her finger, the image of his dark hair between her thighs enough to have her back bowing from the bed as she rubbed deeper into the swollen bud.

 _Would he be slow or fast_?

She might have laughed if she weren’t so on edge, knowing Ben would take every opportunity to torture and tease, and would most certainly work her slowly. She could almost feel his tongue as it lapped at her, imagining it moving through her folds to circle her clit slowly as he drove her insane.

Her mouth hung open in a silent plea, her fingers moving faster and faster to chase the blinding pressure that built between her legs. Her thighs shook with the effort, short gasps escaping her as lights bloomed behind her eyes. Her orgasm washed through her, her fingers still swiping slow circles to pull waves of aftershocks as her back arched from the bed.

When she finally fell still, she lay boneless against the mattress, angry at her traitorous body for falling into such a state because of him. It made all her reasons for fighting him seem less important. She’d thought for sure he’d lost interest in her, that he’d move on to some other willing participant and that would be the end of that.

So why wasn’t he?

She stared up at the ceiling, her breathing still a little heavier than she would have liked. One thing was for certain— even if she’d convinced her _mind_ that she was done with Ben Solo… her _body_ certainly had other plans.

* * *

 “Do I have to go? I’m seriously fine just hanging out by myself in my room,” Rey argued wearily. “My ankle is still killing me anyway.”

“Hush,” Rose chided. “I saw you limp across the room just fine. You’re not missing dinner.”

Rey suppressed the urge to groan. Less than four hours since Ben had left her in her room to _handle_ the state he’d left her in, and now she would be forced to mingle with him over dinner. Not to mention Rose had decided it would be “fun” if they all dressed up, which left Rey now in a form-fitting red silk dress that clung to her a lot more than she’d realized. She was hyperaware of it now, knowing Ben would hone in on it immediately and more than likely use it as an excuse to torment her.

She tried to brush away her morose mood, knowing she was being the worst maid of honor in the entire world. This week was about Rose, and she would be damned if she let Ben turn her into a grump. She forced a smile, giving Rose a nod and taking the arm she offered so that she could help her walk out of her room.

Hux was waiting outside, offering a hand to aid her, and Rose passed Rey off to him so that she could steady herself against him.

“Alright there, graceful?” he laughed.

“Shut up,” she grumbled.

The three of them set off to meet the others, Rose having made reservations at the hotel’s restaurant. She felt herself growing nervous as they rode the elevator down to the main floor, butterflies fluttering about in her stomach as she anticipated seeing him again. The way he’d left her— it was calculated, _planned,_ as if she were no more than prey that would inevitably be caught.

As if he _knew_ she would give in.

Fuck, he’d said as much really, the bastard.

The doors slid open then, Rey steadying herself once again on Hux’s arm and moving through the main lobby towards the sleek entrance to the restaurant. Upon being informed their party was already waiting, the hostess quickly led them through the tables to seat them with everyone else.

She spotted him immediately, tucked away on the other side of the table. She hated the way she immediately noticed how his black shirt fit him in all the right ways. How the top button hung undone to reveal a tantalizing patch of pale skin peeking out. She _especially_ hated the way her eyes lingered on his full lips as they turned upwards in a smirk, his eyes traveling down the length of her to take in her attire.

She wanted to scream when she saw the placement of the three chairs left, two empty seats on one side presumably for Rose and Hux, and only _one_ other… directly next to Ben.

Of _course_.

She trained her features into a passive expression as Hux helped her into the seat, her posture rigid as she felt Ben’s eyes still moving over the silky fabric of her dress. She prepared herself for whatever lewd comment he would have, sucking in a breath as she watched him lean in.

“How’s your ankle?” he asked, surprising her.

She was taken aback for a moment, expecting something far more scandalous, and for a moment she could only gape at him before she finally regained her senses.

“It’s a little better,” she replied skeptically. “Still sore.”

He gave her a pleasant smile, nodding. “Great.”

He turned away then, falling into a conversation with Poe and pointedly ignoring her. She felt a little out of sorts with the whole thing, his polite attitude and cool treatment of her unlike anything he’d ever been. She tried to look at it as a good thing, him doing exactly what she’d wanted him to do... or so she told herself.

Idle chatter passed around the table, the others telling Rey about the view she’d missed at the cliffs, and she listened distractedly as she found herself surreptitiously checking to see if Ben was watching her. After his initial question however, she never once caught him looking her way. In fact it was as if he were going out of his way to ignore her altogether. Beyond all reason it frustrated her to no end.

When their food had been ordered, Poe and Finn made a trip to the bar, leaving their side of the table empty and she decided she couldn’t stand it any longer. Finally, she leaned towards him, catching his attention as he glanced at her with interest.

“What kind of game are you playing at?” she hissed under her breath.

He raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, game?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t play innocent. You go from… well… whatever that was in my room to just ignoring me completely? What’s your angle?”

He grinned, turning more wholly to lean on his elbow as he studied the frustrated look on her face. “I thought you wanted me to leave you alone? Do you miss my attention, Rey?”

She pursed her lips, her jaw working as she felt her cheeks heat. “No.”

“Then it shouldn’t bother you, should it?” he asked sweetly.

“It doesn’t,” she lied. “I just know you’re trying to confuse me.”

He grinned wider, leaning in a little closer. “I think you’re already confused.”

“Only because you’re so… _frustrating,”_ she huffed.

“No, it’s because you’re denying yourself something you want,” he pointed out.

She snorted. “Something meaning _you?”_

He shrugged. “You said it. Not me.”

She huffed out a breath. “Just admit you’re trying to torture me.”

Somehow he leaned impossibly closer, his lips almost brushing at her ear. “Only if you’ll admit you made yourself come thinking about me the minute I left your room.”

She felt her blush rising higher, creeping up her neck warmly and reaching all the way to her ears. She pushed away from him, scowling as she turned her face to hide the offensive scarlet that was surely coloring her skin.

“Did not.”

He laughed softly, settling back into his seat and shrugging. “Then I guess we’re at an impasse.”

She sighed, rubbing her temples. Rose seemed to notice her then, frowning in concern. “You okay?”

Rey nodded, pushing upwards to sit correctly and determined not to let Ben get to her. “I’m fine. So what’s the plan for tomorrow?”

Rose beamed. “Actually, you guys are on your own tomorrow. I found a photographer who is going to take us out to a little island chain for some pre-wedding shots.”

“That will be lovely,” Phasma gushed. “We hardly have any pictures from our wedding.”

“That’s what happens when you get married stone-cold drunk in Vegas,” Dopheld laughed.

“Still a good decision,” Phasma affirmed. “I stand by it.”

Dopheld leaned to press a kiss to her temple, grinning. “I agree.”

Poe and Finn returned then, settling back into their chairs with drinks in hand as the other two couples decided they would follow suit. They left the table, leaving only Poe, Finn, and Ben for company.

“So did Ben take care of you?” Poe wondered.

Rey nearly choked on the water she was sipping, earning an incredulous look from Poe. She waved away his stare, shaking her head. “Sorry, went down the wrong pipe.”

“That’s what she said,” Poe snorted.

Finn rolled his eyes. “How would you know what _she_ said?”

Poe waved him off, returning his attention to Rey. “So? Your ankle?”

She nodded slowly. “It’ll be fine. Ben took care of me.”

Ben took a sip of his drink, grinning against the rim and shrugging. “I think Rey is exaggerating. She basically took care of herself.”

She clenched her jaw, her fingers digging into the palms of her hands. She was going to murder him. He smirked at her from over his glass, his lips curling around the rim and distracting her. Fuck, or maybe she would just kiss him? She couldn’t keep her wants in order.

The others returned in time for the food, the waiter setting out plates at their appropriate places and leaving them to it once finished. She ate quietly, hyperaware of Ben’s thigh only inches away from hers. She tried to focus on her food, forcing herself to join in on the conversation around but all the while her mind lingered on how close he was. She didn’t like it, this unsettled feeling he gave her, and she wondered for the hundredth time how she would make it through the week.

She almost swallowed her fork when she felt his fingers brushing at her knee, his thumb tracing the silky fabric even as his expression remained even while he continued to eat. He answered something Poe asked, giving nothing away as his hand slid over the top of her thigh to rest between them, his fingers rubbing into the fabric and causing her to tense.

She told herself to push him away, but it was easier said than done. His palm was flat against her thigh, sliding upwards as the silk of her dress dragged beneath his fingers to allow him closer to her center. He glanced at her then, his eyebrow raised in silent question as if asking her whether or not he should continue.

She felt reason leaving her, meeting his gaze evenly as her singular focus became his hold on her. She pulled her lip between her teeth, biting it softly and giving him an almost imperceptible nod to which he answered with a soft grin.

He turned away again, falling back into conversation as she felt his finger sliding over the layers of fabric to trace the seam of her underneath. She gripped her fork tighter, his actions slow and purposeful as he stroked her. She wantonly spread her legs slightly to allow him easier access, knowing she would pay for the action later but unable to stop herself in that moment.

He pressed harder, rubbing slow circles against her as she struggled to remain calm. She felt her breath leaving her a little more shallowly, suppressing the urge to make a sound.

“Are you okay?” Hux asked suddenly from across the table and drawing attention to her. “You don’t look so good.”

She tried not to appear panicked, Ben’s fingers stilling to allow her to respond. “I— I’m fine,” she answered just a little too breathlessly. “Ankle just hurts a little.”

“Oh no,” Rose frowned. “Did you take anything?”

“Yes I—” she halted as she sucked in a breath, Ben’s fingers resuming their ministrations and she swallowed hard to regain her composure. “I took some Ibuprofen.”

Rose nodded. “Good. Do you need to go lie down? I feel bad I pushed you to come now.”

Rey bit the inside of her cheek, Ben’s finger pressing into where her entrance would be beneath the fabric, and she almost choked on the moan that lay trapped in her throat. She nodded heavily, unable to do much else and feeling Ben pull his hand away suddenly, both to her relief and displeasure.

She realized then that there absolutely no way she could do this.

It was _Monday._ She had to withstand Ben until _Sunday._ There was no way in hell that she could possibly deny her attraction to him that long. It just couldn’t be done.

Honestly… why should she? It wasn’t as if people didn’t have casual hookups. Hell, that was how she and Ben had _met_ basically. What was a few more days? It wasn’t as if she couldn’t keep it physical, and she _knew_ Ben would have no problem with keeping feelings out of it. Actually, he would probably welcome it.

She pushed away from the table, rising to stand shakily and balancing herself on the table. Poe sat down his fork, moving to rise with her. “I can help take you back.”

Ben was standing before she could answer, his hand at her back to guide her as he gave Poe an even expression. “Stay. I’m done anyway. I can take her.”

Rose gave them a curious expression, seeming to _really_ look at them then and Rey knew she would have questions later. She tried to look as casual as possible, glancing at Ben with what she hoped was a look of gratitude.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

“Oh no,” he answered quietly. “I’m happy to.”

 _I’ll just bet you are,_ she thought defeatedly.

Now that she’d come to the decision, she was unsure of how to approach the subject. Did she just ask him to be fuck buddies? Is that how this worked? Oh God, he would just eat that up. There was no way she was saying that. There had to be a more tactful approach to asking someone to make good on their word to fuck your impression into the hotel mattress.

She expected him to have things to say when they left the restaurant, but he was uncharacteristically quiet as he led her through the lobby to the elevators. The ride up to her floor was agonizingly tense, Rey leaning on his arm in a way that forced her against his side. She could smell him, something clean and pleasant and _Ben_ and it made her thoughts all the more scattered.

“Are we going to talk about what happened at the table?” she asked quietly.

He shook his head. “If we talk about what happened at the table right now, I’m going to fuck you against that elevator wall. I don’t think your ankle would thank me for it.”

She let out a shaky breath, clenching her thighs together tightly and facing straight ahead. He was tense beside her, and she could see his reflection in the smooth elevator doors. See the way his jaw worked in the sleek metal. When the doors finally opened, he moved as gently as before, guiding her down the hall with all the restraint he possessed.

She fumbled for her key card, finally slotting it into the lock as he pushed the door open. They were barely inside the door when she felt his hands at her waist, kicking the door shut as he pulled her against him, mindful of her ankle.

“I’m ready to talk about it now,” he rumbled as his lips descended over hers.

She could only melt into him, her hands pressed against his chest as his arms tightened around her. She couldn’t remember anything beyond this moment, time reduced to the period from when she’d first kissed Ben until _now,_ with everything between nothing more than a blur of what ifs and want. His tongue was insistent as he urged her to open for him, swiping inside her mouth to tangle with hers.

She broke away breathlessly, his lips never ceasing their attention on her skin as they moved over her jaw to trail down her throat.

“This is—” she gasped. “It’s just for this week. It can’t go beyond that.”

He leaned back, breathing hard through his nostrils. “Is that what you want?”

She bit her lip. “It can’t work beyond that, Ben. We lead two different lives. On two different sides of the country. You have to promise we can keep it casual.”

His gaze was heavy, his jaw working in thought before finally nodding slowly. “If that’s what you want.”

She breathed out a sigh of relief, happy to at least have _some_ part of this on her terms. He ducked to scoop her up then, his arms winding under her legs and back to pull her to his chest. He carried her across the room, setting her on the bed and leaning over her to cage her in much like he had earlier.

He grinned, his fingers moving to play with a loose curl at her shoulder. “So are you going to admit you _took care_ of yourself after I left earlier?”

She huffed out a laugh, shaking her head. “I’ll _never_ tell.”

He smirked, his fingers moving to curl around her nape and bring her close as his lips brushed over hers.

“We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👀 I wonder what the next chapter will be about?


	5. Straight To My Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically 3000 words of filth but like y’all asked for it. I have no regrets.
> 
> Special thanks to [ohwise1ne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohwise1ne/pseuds/ohwise1ne) for being a stellar beta and assuring me this was hot— not awkward. 😂❤️

* * *

She couldn’t think. She could hardly _breathe._ Were those his lips on her or had her skin actually caught fire? His mouth. His _mouth._ It moved over the slender column of her throat as if starved for her, his tongue tasting every part of her he could reach as it dragged upwards to trace the shell of her ear. He pulled the delicate lobe between his teeth, nibbling softly as his large hands molded down her sides to smooth over the silky fabric of her dress.

“This fucking _dress,”_ he growled into her ear. “Do you know what seeing you in it did to me? Did you think of me when you put it on? Did you think of what it would be like when I tore it _off_ you?”

“ _No,”_ she protested, moaning softly. “I didn’t.”

“Oh?” he grated, his hand curling around her hip possessively. “I think you did. I think you _wanted_ me to peel it off you. Wanted my hands on your skin. Tell me Rey, are you wet right now? If I reach under this dress will I find you soaked for me?”

As if to accentuate his point she felt his hand parting her thighs, the fabric of her dress bunching above it as he moved to stroke at the thin lace of her underwear. His finger traced the seam of her, his large body shuddering over her as he prodded at the wet fabric. He hooked around her underwear, tugging them to the side to let a thick finger slip inside her. He groaned, curling it into her heat. “Fucking _soaked.”_

 _“_ Don’t let it go to your head,” she assured through gritted teeth.

He chuckled, tugging at her fingers with his free hand and forcing her palm to flatten over his cock that strained against his zipper. “Sweetheart, it already went straight to my head.”

She groaned, his terrible joke somehow still making her flush deepen. “Are you just going to talk all night?”

“Someone’s impatient.”

“Someone’s getting old down here.”

He barked out a laugh, ducking to let his lips graze over her throat as he murmured into her skin. “Do you remember what I said I was going to do to you?”

She nodded slowly, his dark promises having run through her head for hours since he’d left her in this very bed. He hummed in approval, his mouth leaving a slow trail over the soft skin of her throat. “Tell me, Rey. Tell me what I said.”

She breathed deep through her nose, knowing he was playing a game and sure that she would lose it. She was too far gone to be stubborn. Too lost in the fire he spurred inside her. “You said— _ah_ , you said… that you would use your mouth first.”

He nodded into her shoulder, his tongue flattening over the smooth skin there. “And I am _not_ a fucking liar.”

His shifted to his knees, his thighs straddling hers as he pulled at the silky hem of her dress. He creeped it upwards, inching it along her skin and watching as he revealed more of her from underneath it. He skirted it over her navel, pushing it over her ribs and when he met the bare underside of her breasts he huffed out a breath, his eyes darkening.  

One of the benefits of having slightly smaller breasts was that she had the freedom to forego a bra at times, and judging by the heated look in Ben’s eyes, he didn’t mind the size of her in the slightest. He never slowed, pulling the dress over her head as her hair fell around her like a halo, leaving her in nothing but the scrap of lace between her thighs.

She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, his fists clutching at the red silk still tight in his hand as his eyes raked over every part of her.

“Fucking you in the dark should be a god damned crime,” he breathed. “ _Look_ at you.”

Her skin flushed under his gaze, her chest feeling too tight, far too hot for comfort. He let a large palm cover her breast, wide enough to span the width of her and he squeezed it gently. He moved to roll her nipple between his fingers, pinching it lightly as her mouth fell open in a soft gasp.

“This feels—” she started breathlessly, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “This feels uneven.”

His mouth quirked in a grin, releasing his hold on her breast to move for his buttons. “I’m all about fair play.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sure you are.”

He undid the fastenings slowly, pale skin coming into view inch by inch and brightly colored patterns swirling over the smooth expanse of his torso. She marveled at the urge she felt to study them— having never cared for tattoos in the slightest but with Ben… she found herself wanting to know every meaning, every story there was to tell. She was distracted from her inner musings by the sight of him pushing his shirt over his shoulders, his abdomen clenching with the effort and the muscles of his arms going taut.

She bit her lip as his hands moved next to the button of his jeans, pushing the denim over his thighs and kicking them away. She eyed the outline of his cock through the thin fabric of his briefs, straining against them heavily and leaving nothing to the imagination. She knew he was huge, she’d _felt_ as much, but to _see_ him… it left her with an overwhelming urge to press her thighs together.

She hooked a finger into the band of his underwear, tugging slightly but he stilled her with his hand. “You take me out and there’s no way I’ll be able to keep from fucking your tight little cunt. I promised you my mouth first and my mouth first is _exactly_ what you’re going to get.”

She swallowed, pulse quickening as he reached for the red lace of her underwear. He worked them over her hips, tugging them down her legs and tossing them away. He rolled his lips together as he pushed her thighs apart, gazing down between them hungrily as he lowered himself to settle there.

“So fucking _pretty.”_

The lamps in her hotel room left nothing to the imagination, her slick center on full display as he lingered only a breath away. He ran the the ends of two fingers through her labia, parting her as he blew a puff of cold air on her heated sex.

She shivered, his fingers trailing through her folds to linger at her clit as he circled around it slowly, teasing her. _Always_ teasing her.

“Been _dreaming_ about this,” he rasped. “About _you._ About what you’d taste like…”

He pressed a finger inside her entrance as his tongue flattened over her folds, dragging upwards at a tortuously slow pace, as if only to taste her. He hummed at her flavor, adding a second finger to the first as he twisted them inside her.

“ _Fuck,”_ he groaned. “So much better than I imagined.”

He lowered his head, swirling his tongue around the taut bud with more pressure. His fingers ground into her, spreading them to scissor and stretch her inside. Her mouth fell open in a gasp, her fingers moving to wind into his hair as his head bobbed slightly with each pass of his tongue.

She stole a glance between her legs, the image of his dark hair settled there just as wicked as she’d imagined. He licked a hot stripe up the length of her, craning his neck with the effort and his eyes met hers with an intensity that made her squirm. Then he descended, wrapping his lips around her clit to suck, his cheeks hollowing as he wrung pleasure from her.

“ _Ah_ ,” she gasped, feeling a coiling deep inside as her body wound with that familiar pressure that begged for release.

Ben did not relent, licking and sucking as if it were his life’s sole purpose, and if his prowess were any indication... Rey might argue that it was. Her back bowed from the bed, trying to scramble away from the blinding sensation he was causing, but Ben only pressed a large hand between her hip bones, pinning her to the mattress and holding her in place.

She came against his tongue just as he’d promised she would, a quivering mess of babbled cries— unable to determine whether she wanted him to stop or continue. He robbed her of the choice, his tongue making heavy sweeps across her sensitive clit and reducing her to a mewling mess— tugging at his hair to pry him away.

Wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand, he crawled over her with a smug grin. Part of her wanted to slap it right off his face, but she gave in to the louder part of her, tugging him down to her to cover his mouth with hers. She could taste herself on his tongue, his hips pinning hers to the mattress and his clothed cock grinding against her still sensitive core.

“Not _quite_ begging me to stop… but we’ll get there,” he murmured against her mouth.

She groaned. “Do you _ever_ shut up?”

He chuckled, thrusting against her drenched center, his lips trailing across her cheek to press at her jaw. “I think you like it more than you let on. I think you _love_ my mouth.”

She gave a slight shake of her head, knowing he was right but refusing to admit it. He pressed his lips to her jaw, his hand gripping her waist.

“I think my mouth isn’t the only thing you love either,” he hummed, rolling his hips into hers.

“So fucking full of yourself,” she grit out.

“Ah, Rey. I think you want to be full of me too,” he teased. “But you don’t seem quite… desperate enough. Your damned pride. You’re _still_ holding on… let go.”

He thrust against her, his cock sliding over her clit and causing her to let out a soft cry. His fingers tightened into her skin, teeth nipping at the skin of her throat. “Take it out, Rey. Take out my cock.”

For all her _damned pride_ she could only obey, hands shaking with need as she reached for the band of his underwear. She pulled at it, untucking his cock as it sprung free. He aided her in ridding himself of his briefs, pushing them down his hips as her hands encircled his rigid length. She twisted them, pumping him slowly as he thrust into her hand.

“What happened to fucking me into the mattress?” Rey goaded. “What happened to _leaving an impression?_ ”

“I want to hear you say it,” Ben grated. “ _Tell me_ you want me to fuck you.”

She grit her teeth, every fiber of her being screaming at her to be stubborn, and for the life of her she couldn’t figure out _why_. Something in Ben brought out the most obstinate parts of her, his every word instilling her with a desire to contest him. It drove her crazy.

Only, she _did_ want that. She wanted him to sink inside her and do all the things he’d said he would.

“God damnit Ben— I want you to _fuck_ me.”

She could practically _feel_ his smug grin, his hands curling over her thighs to part them. “I need the condom in the pocket of my jeans.”

“You’re _still_ carrying condoms around?”

“After meeting you... I’ll never leave home without one.”

She huffed out a breath, biting her lip. “Actually I’m— well, I’m on birth control.”

His eyebrows shot up. “That would have been nice to know.”

“I didn’t even know your _name_ ,” she hissed. “I had no way of knowing if you were clean or—”

“Rey… you get tested regularly in the military. It’s been awhile since my last but— I’m clean as a fucking whistle.”

“Well, so am _I.”_ Her voice came out like a challenge, and again she wondered what it was about him that made her so testy.

“Tell me I can have you raw.”

She shuddered at the thought, needing it almost as desperately as he seemed to. She could only nod, Ben hissing out a breath of relief as he grasped her thighs to pull her to him. They both watched as he nudged the fat head of his cock against her entrance, slipping inside to press forward, his head lolling as a groan escaped him.

“ _Fuck._ So tight. So _fucking_ tight,” he babbled. “I could fucking _live_ like this.”

Her nails dug into his side, reveling in the way she stretched to accommodate his length. She’d almost begun to believe perhaps _she_ had imagined this— this overwhelming fullness as he touched every part of her. Never in her life had she felt so _whole_ , like he were the piece that completed her puzzle, perfectly made to fit. It was too much— these things she felt as he bottomed out, too _heavy,_ and instead she focused simply on the feel of him inside her. The way her inner walls gripped him tight as he drew back to the head, only to push back inside just a little faster.

His weight settled over her, his large hand sliding down her thigh to urge her to wrap her legs around his waist. She did so, her arms winding around his neck to hold on as he began to fuck her with all the force he’d promised her. He balanced on his hand, pistoning into her like a _machine_ , slamming into her hips with gritted teeth and all the while he watched as he disappeared inside her over and over.

Her hand fell to his jaw, pulling his eyes to hers as she leaned upwards to meet his mouth. He closed his eyes when her tongue licked at the seam of his mouth, opening to allow her to sweep inside and moaning softly as she let hers tangle with his. His arm snaked around her back, crushing her to him and for a moment she feared she _might_ leave an impression in the mattress.

“ _Fuck_ you feel so good,” he rasped, breaking away from her lips. “Tell me you feel good, Rey.”

“I— I feel—” she struggled to form a coherent answer as his cock sunk into her warmth.

“Fucking _tell me,”_ he grit out, his hand grabbing a handful of her ass and gripping tight. He bore down, hitting so deep she knew she would feel him tomorrow all over again. Perhaps that would be a reoccurring thing— for however long this lasted. Another particularly deep thrust hit her hard, and she choked out a gasp as she attempted to answer again.

“ _Ben— ah,_ I do. I feel good. I feel so fucking good.”

“Say my name again,” he grated. “I want you to know who’s doing this to you.”

“ _Ben.”_

 _“Again,_ Rey _._ Say it again. Want to hear my name when you come.”

She clamped down around him, feeling a second orgasm tearing through her, her thighs shaking and his name tearing from her lips just as he’d demanded. He moaned low in his throat as she came apart, both hands gripping at her waist and his hips slamming into her. She felt the moment he followed, holding her as close as he was able while the warmth of his cum seeped into her from deep inside.

He body settled against hers, burying her into the mattress with his lips falling over her skin. She felt them at her throat, pressing broken words into her skin— filthy promises that assured her he would be doing this all over again at the earliest possible moment. She wanted it all— everything he could possibly give her, perhaps even at the risk of not leaving this room for the remainder of their stay. Not that holing up in this room and converting it into some sort of den of sin were an option… unfortunately.

He lay over her for far longer than was necessary, still rooted inside her even as his cum seeped out of her to trickle down onto the sheets. She felt it descend, shuddering at the knowledge of just how _filled_ she was, and Ben shifted his hips to stir inside her with a groan.

When he finally pulled out, it caused them both to shiver, his cock heavy and spent as he slid from her warmth. His breath left him heavily, his chest rising and falling with effort as he stared down at her. When he fell to his side, he pulled her to him, quiet for the first time since she’d known him.

She took advantage of his uncharacteristic silence to study him unabashedly, her eyes raking over the colorful array of patterns on his skin. She let her fingers trace them, finding herself interested in their meaning and their story and everything that made him who he was. It was the first time she’d ever cared about such a thing.

“Why do you have so many?” she asked finally, breaking the silence.

“Hm… did you ever have a journal?”

She nodded, curious as to where he was going with this line of thought.

“Well… I’m sure you used it to write down your thoughts— to remember your experiences. You used the pages to record your story… I used my skin. My body is my journal.”

She considered that, having never thought of it that way before. “So they all have meaning to you?”

He shrugged. “Well… most of them. There’s a particularly ridiculous one tucked away somewhere I’d rather not talk about.”

She grinned, pushing backwards to look over his skin. “Where?”

He smirked, cocking an eyebrow. “Oh, you’ll have to _really_ search for it.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Is that a challenge?”

He grinned wide, giving a small shrug again. “Maybe… Or maybe I just want you all over my body looking for it.”

She felt her mouth quirk into a grin, pushing him to his back and crawling over him to straddle his waist. “I _do_ like a challenge.”

He chuckled, lacing his hands behind his head, that same smirk that normally drove her insane painting his mouth. “Go ahead, sweetheart. We’ve got _all_ night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the fucking smut train choo choo


	6. A Convincing Drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey’s having Ben for lunch. *side-eyes myself*
> 
> Moodboard gifted by the amazing [Polkadotdotdot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polkadotdotdot/pseuds/Polkadotdotdot)!

* * *

 

“Show me again.”

Ben rolled his eyes, moving to stretch beside her as he huffed out a sigh. “No thanks, I’m still trying to get the sound of you cackling out of my head from the first time.”

“Aw,” she teased. “Poor baby. Are you not feeling very _super_ about it?”

He scrubbed a hand over his face, his eyes going to the ceiling in defeat. “You’re a menace.”

She grinned, settling over his chest to lay her head on her hands as he threw an arm around her. The early morning rays of sunlight peeked in through the blinds, streaming down on them to rouse them from the sleep they’d only just fell into hours before.

Despite its short duration, Ben could argue that it was the best night’s sleep he’d ever had. Rey was just so _warm_ , her body molding to his perfectly as if she were made to fit there. She’d seemed to sleep just as peacefully _,_ and Ben wondered if it had just been the exhaustion he’d given her stemming from taking her again and again into all hours of the night… or if maybe it was him. She hadn’t tested walking yet— but Ben was more than sure it would come as a chore this morning, a fact that admittedly made him more than smug.

“ _You’re_ the one who walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for the _Superman_ emblem on your _ass.”_

He pursed his lips. “In my defense—”

“I’m not sure there’s any plausible defense for that but go ahead,” Rey cut in.

“In my _defense…_ I was very drunk.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong but don’t those types of shops normally turn away drunken morons?”

He frowned. “Yeah… they’re sure as fuck supposed to. Apparently I am a very _convincing_ drunk.”

“So you aren’t going to show me again?”

“I think maybe you just want another look at my ass.”

She scoffed, moving to push away from him but he wound his arms around her immediately to cage her in, pulling her back to him. “Oh no, I’m not done with you yet, sweetheart.”

“How can you have _any_ energy left?”

“I eat my Wheaties,” he grinned, his hand smoothing over the swell of her hip. “And that’s not all I eat either.”

She grimaced, smacking his chest. “Oh God, _gross.”_

He laughed, his chin coming to rest on top of her head as he tucked her against him. “You didn’t think it was so gross last night.”

“This is going to be a long week.”

He stilled, the reminder of their expiration date hitting him like a brick and causing him to frown. All the reasons she’d given for such a time limit had made sense… he had to admit that, but it didn’t make it sit any better. Now that he’d had her again, how could he ever let her go? He knew deep down she felt it too, whatever it was he felt, and he was overcome with a desire to make her realize it.

He had no idea how they could even _work—_ but he thought he might like to try. He only had to convince _her,_ but she was about as skittish as a feral cat.

A sharp trill of a ringtone cut through the silence that had descended, Ben recognizing it immediately and groaning. “Poe.” 

Rey shoved at his chest. “Answer it! He might get suspicious.”

Ben cocked an eyebrow. “Yes, if I don’t answer it Poe might immediately assume I’ve been fucking you all night.”

She scowled, waving him away. “Just answer it.”

He laughed as he rolled to search for the still screaming device tucked into his discarded jeans pocket, amazed it still had any charge. He put it to his ear, leaning against the headboard. “What’s up?”

“Hey man, we’re going surfing. You in?”

Ben glanced to a still naked Rey, remembering that Rose and Hux would be occupied that day and deciding nothing was tearing him away from her on such a rare opportunity. “Um, actually I can’t today. I have to take care of some stuff with my CO.”

“Boo. Well, hit me up if you finish early. We’ll be on the water most of the day I figure.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” No he wouldn’t. If Poe found out he was ducking them he would have his ass.

He hung up the phone, tossing it on the bedside table and curling back into Rey. He wanted her at least once more before breakfast, and his wandering hands probably clued her in on the fact. He groaned when he heard a second phone ringing then, burying his face in his pillow like a petulant child as Rey turned in the direction towards its screeching.

“Poe,” he muttered. “He wants you to go surfing.”

“Maybe I want to go surfing.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “I could probably think of better uses of your time.”

“Always so full of yourself…” she muttered as she reached for the offensive device, a grin on her face all the same. “Hello?”

Ben waited a moment for Poe to ask the inevitable question, Rey smirking at him as she made to reply. “Actually I don’t know if I should… my ankle is still really sore. I should probably give it one more day.”

Ben flashed her a smile, trying his best not to look smug as Poe seemed to launch into some sort of chat. Rey frowned. “What do you mean they mixed up the flowers?” Silence as Poe replied. “Fuck. Does Rose know yet?”

Ben listened as the two of them continued talking over the flower dilemma, his eyes lingering on the way the sheet clung to her form where she held it with her fingers. He grinned as he reached for the hem of the sheet, tugging it away from her as Rey stifled a shriek. She continued to respond to Poe even as Ben pushed her hand away from her breast, letting his tongue flick over her nipple as her eyes fluttered closed.

“Mhm, yeah. That feels good— I mean, that sounds good,” she told Poe.

Ben smirked, pulling the rosy bud between his lips and sucking softly as his tongue swirled around it. Rey’s head fell back against the headboard, nodding to herself, her brow furrowed as she attempted to concentrate on whatever Poe was saying. When Ben pressed his fingers between her thighs, parting her soft folds to stroke her there, she almost cried out.

“L-listen Poe, I’m going to get off here. I need to shower. I’ll call you later, okay?”

She only waited a second for him to respond, giving him a quick goodbye and throwing her phone across the bed. “ _Ben_.”

He released her nipple with a soft _pop_ , giving her an innocent expression. “What?”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re going to pay for what you did.”

“Oh?” he laughed. “I look forward to it, sweetheart.“

* * *

 “Are you sure they’re not at the hotel?”

Ben sighed for the third time. “They’re all still at the beach I’m sure. Besides, is it really so big of a deal that we’re eating lunch together? I mean, people hook up all the time.”

She glanced around the hotel restaurant nervously. “This is Rose’s time to shine. I don’t want to take away from that with whatever this is.”

He frowned. “Don’t worry, I’m sure no one will find out you’re with me.”

Her expression softened then from across the booth, biting her lip. “Hey, I didn’t— I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not _ashamed_ of this or of you. I just don’t want anyone focusing on us and whatever we’re doing instead of Rose. She’s been dreaming about this day for as long as I can remember.”

He nodded, placated somewhat. He let his fingers curl around his glass, lifting it to his lips to take a drink as her gaze lingered on his forearm. She turned her head, looking at the tattoo there curiously.

“What’s that one?”

His eyes flicked to it, frowning. Not one of his favorites. He studied the ornate grim reaper depiction for a few moments, considering how best to explain. It was one of his darker pieces, but important nonetheless.

“I got this one not long after I enlisted actually,” he started quietly, running his finger over the hooded figure. “It’s… not a pretty story.”

She frowned, chewing her lip and letting her gaze fall again to the dark image. Leaning forward on her fist, she nodded for him to continue. “You can tell me.”

He let out a sigh, remembering. “There was… a particular assignment. It involved a man whose followers only called him “Snoke”— we were only told he was a figurehead for a terrorist group and we were to bring him in _alive_ for questioning.”

She remained silent, her brow furrowed as she nodded again and he continued.

“It was a straightforward mission, and seemed pretty cut and dry. But… when we found him… the things he was doing, the things I _saw_ . I just… he hurt so many people. He was a _monster.”_

Rey frowned, reaching across the table to let her hand fall over his. “Did you… did you kill him?”

He nodded grimly. “I just… I lost it. I found him with… with a woman— and he was— I just _lost_ it.”

He shook his head, clearing away those memories. “The boys in my unit took to calling me the grim reaper for awhile after that. I was nearly court martialed for disobeying orders. I got this to remind me of what can happen when you lose control. He was my… first kill. I didn’t even feel any regret in that moment. Fuck, I _still_ don’t _._ Maybe that makes me a monster too.”

She squeezed his hand. “You’re not a monster. It sounds like you stopped a horrible man.”

He nodded. “Maybe.”

She gave him a long look, seeming to study him as if seeing him for the first time. He didn’t know how to feel about the way she was looking at him then— almost  as if she could see right through him. It unsettled him.

A familiar tone sounding from his pocket broke through the moment, and he frowned as he reached for it, Poe yet again interrupting.

“Hey,” Ben answered.

“You still on base?”

“No,” Ben answered distractedly. “Eating lunch right now at the hotel.”

“Oh, awesome! I’m actually coming down the elevators. I had to run back to the room to grab my wallet. I’ll join you.”

Ben’s mouth fell open, glancing at Rey and offering Poe a scrambled okay. He hung up quickly, shooting her an apologetic look. “So… I’m assuming you still don’t want the others to find out about us… right?”

She furrowed her brow. “I just think it’s best— what’s going on?”

“Poe is coming. Coming here. He’ll be here… very soon.”

She looked panicked, glancing to the front of the restaurant and ducking as she hissed out a breath. “I _see_ him _.”_

 _“_ It’ll be fine Rey, he’s not going to— what the fuck are you doing?”

She’d already fallen to her knees, crawling under the thick white tablecloth that went to the floor and disappearing under its cover. He leaned to scoff at her disappearing figure, shaking his head. “Really?”

“Shh!”

He returned to a normal seated position just as Poe noticed him sitting alone, offering a wave and pulling out what had just been Rey’s chair to seat himself.

“You didn’t have to eat alone man, we’d have grabbed something with you.”

 _Except I wasn’t eating alone,_ he thought with a mental eyeroll.

“Yeah… I just finished up early and didn’t want to pull you guys away. Just figured I’d grab something real quick and then catch up.”

Poe nodded, noticing the second glass of water the waitress had brought them. “Why are there two?”

Ben shrugged. “No idea, she just brought two.”

“Hm,” Poe frowned, letting it go after only a second. “So… I’ve been meaning to catch you alone. What’s the deal with you and Rey? Any progress?”

He could feel her against his legs, pressed against him as far as she could go under the table to avoid touching Poe. Ben chuckled softly, scratching at the back of his neck. “Ah… I think she might be… warming up to me a little.”

_Ouch._

The little minx had pinched his inner thigh, the patch of skin she’d grabbed stinging through his jeans. He resisted the urge to make a face, training his features into passivity.

Poe nodded thoughtfully. “So what happened when you took her back to her room yesterday— _again_?”

“Oh,” Ben started flippantly. “Nothing. She—”

His nearly bit his tongue when he felt her fingers trailing over his zipper, teasing him from beneath the fabric. Surely she wouldn’t— _oh._ She toyed with his zipper, pulling it down slowly and undoing the button to flatten a palm over his brief-clad length.

Poe cocked an eyebrow, eyeing Ben curiously. “She…?”

“Um, she—” _Fuck._ She’d inched the slit of his briefs over the head, circling a finger around it slowly as she slid the fabric down his cock to free him. “S-she basically just let me know nothing could happen.”

“Ah, man. I really thought the two of you might hit it off. Rey just has a hard time letting people in.”

Ben swallowed hard. “I can tell. I—” _Ah,_ her fingers had encircled him to pump him slowly, and he lost his train of thought for a moment. “I can be persistent.”

Poe chuckled. “That’s definitely true. You— hey, you okay?”

Ben nodded a little too frantically. “Yes. I think— I think maybe my food isn’t sitting right.”

Poe glanced around the empty table. “But they haven’t brought you food yet.”

 _God damnit._ Was that her tongue? Warm and wet, he felt it flatten over the slit of his cock to taste him. “Breakfast. I mean breakfast.”

“You look a little pale all of the sudden,” Poe noticed.

Oh _God—_ her felt her dragging her tongue up the underside, her hand delving into his jeans to fondle his balls through his briefs. “Yeah, I don’t feel so hot all of the sudden.” _Lies._ He was _too_ hot _._

He breathed deep through his nose, bringing his palm over his mouth to hide his clenched jaw. He had to forcibly _swallow_ his moan when he felt her lips push over the head, pushing down his length to take him further into her mouth.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Her mouth was like a fucking _dream._ If he didn’t know exactly what her pussy felt like he might even argue it was the best thing he’d ever felt. Her tongue moved in some lewd dance along the underside of his shaft as she began to bob down his length, and he had to close his eyes to hide them surely rolling back into his head.

“Dude, you really don’t look so good,” Poe worried. “Do you need to go back to your room?”

“Fuck, yeah I do.”

 _So I can fuck the misbehave right out of this girl._ His legs shook with the effort to be still, wanting more than anything to tangle his fingers in her hair and pound into her mouth until his cock nudged down her throat. This was Rey’s game though— her punishment for his teasing and damn if he wasn’t completely on board for this level of torture.

“Do you want me to help you back to the room?” Poe offered.

Ben shook his head vehemently, letting out a shaky breath. “No, I’m okay. I just need to sit here for a second. Let my stomach settle.”

“Okay… I can wait with you until you feel better?”

Another forced shake of his head. “Seriously, I’ll be fine. You go on back. I’ll catch up with you guys in a little while.”

Poe cast him another confused look as he stood, sensing something was going on but thankfully having no idea as to what. Not that Ben blamed him— if he couldn’t feel her lips around his cock even _he_ wouldn’t believe Rey was down on her knees right now giving him the best head he’d ever experience under a table with dozens of people around.

“Well… okay, then. Call me later? When you feel better?”

Ben nodded. “I will, man. I promise. Just need a minute.”

 _Fuck._ She was increasing the tempo, taking him right down to the base at a frantic speed as his balls drew up in pleasure. He felt that liquid heat pooling at his spine, creeping upwards like a tingling electricity and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

He watched Poe go, the waitress blessedly still giving their table space as she surely assumed Rey was in the bathroom. He blew out a breath, reaching under the table to let his palm wrap around the crown of her head as she pushed him as far inside her mouth as she was able. He felt it then, his orgasm inevitable and he attempted to pull her away, but she only gripped his thighs tight and pushed harder down his length. He felt the head of his cock brushing against the slick walls of her throat, and she hummed softly, the vibrations pushing him over the edge.

She swallowed around him as he gushed down her throat, coming so hard he felt it in his teeth as he bit back a moan. She held him in her mouth until his cock stilled, letting it slide from her mouth and licking a heavy stripe over the head to collect any remnants of his cum that lingered there. She carefully tucked him back inside his jeans, redoing his button and zipper and patting his knee sweetly as if she hadn’t just completely turned his world on its head— pun intended.

He glanced around, seeing no one looking their way and tugging at her arm to urge her from under the table. She slipped out quickly, taking her seat and propping her chin on her hands to give him an innocent expression.

“So…” she started sweetly. “Have a good chat?”

He stared incredulously at her, still slightly numb from the orgasm she’d just given him and torn between wanting to crawl across the table and kiss her or haul her upstairs to fuck her silly all over again.

“What’s the matter?” Rey cooed. “Nothing to say?”

“I can’t believe you just did that,” he gaped, feeling at a loss for words for the first time in what might have been in his entire life.

She beamed, pulling her lip between her teeth to bite back a grin and shrugging. “Does Ben maybe like my mouth too?”

Her mouth, her face, her body, her grumpy demeanor and her snarky retorts— he was finding there wasn’t much about Rey he _didn’t_ like. He knew she was right about one thing at least… this was going to be a long week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I really going to write smut in like every chapter now? Smh.


	7. Green Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven’t answered any comments from that last chapter hardly— I’m so sorry! I have seen them and love them I’ve just been trying to write as much as possible before I go back to work tomorrow. PLUS, someone amazing has been writing me an anonymous gift that is basically everything I could ever want in a story and has been stealing my time (not complaining in the slightest— it’s brilliant). If you haven’t seen me screaming about it on social media, I BEG you to check it out.  
> [Gorgeous](https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/40513529?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#main)

* * *

 

_Why did he agree to this again?_

He glanced over to where Rey was warming up, bent over to touch her toes, the tight fabric of her yoga pants leaving nothing to the imagination.

_Oh, right._

When Rose and Hux had joined them for dinner last night after their day of an offshore photoshoot, Rose had been _ecstatic_ to inform them of the early morning yoga class she’d booked for them the next day. Ben worked out almost every day, but he had never in his life done _yoga_ , and he hadn’t planned to start now. Then Rey had mentioned something about being glad she’d packed her yoga pants— and Ben _knew_ what those entailed.

He’d joined the others to surf after Rey’s little stunt at lunch— but he’d been in her room as soon as he was able to give her some good, _hard_ , retaliation for her under the table teasing. They’d almost been late to dinner, and he’d had her twice after when they returned to her room. He was beginning to forget what his own room even looked like.

He was trying very hard to make his glances sly, her firm ass on display just across the deck as she continued to stretch. He could see every curve of her, and for a moment he wondered how hard it would be to rip apart the fabric and sink inside her right there on the deck.

He surreptitiously adjusted himself through the soft fabric of his athletic shorts, glancing around to make sure no one could spot his half hard cock begging for attention.

Fucking yoga.

Poe was surprisingly more than excited about this entire exchange, bouncing back and forth on the pads of his feet in some sort of enthusiastic warmup routine. Finn stood beside him, pulling at his arms in a stretch and grinning at his boyfriend with a slight shake of his head. The other couples were spread out in much the same way, stretching in the morning sun while they awaited the “renowned” instructor Rose had heard so much about.

He checked his watch, noting the class had actually begun three minutes ago and frowning. So much for professional. He stole a glance again at Rey, who had turned to the side in a stretch, giving him a coy wink as she bent backwards, her arms stretched upwards and thrusting out her breasts against the thin fabric of her tight tank top.

 _Fucking_ yoga _._

They heard a splash then, seeing someone swimming along the deck and a hand suddenly grasping the edge to pull themselves up. A very tan, very _built_ man pulled himself front the ocean, flipping his long hair from his eyes and giving them a warm smile.

“I am so sorry I am late, I had to swim from the other side of the island.”

Ben frowned, eyeing the man’s mostly naked body, wearing nothing but a fluorescent blue speedo that unfortunately left nothing to the imagination. He shot Poe a grimace who was seeing the same thing as Ben only with slightly more enthusiasm, his eyebrows raised appreciatively as Finn nudged him in the side with his elbow. Poe raised his hands in innocence, shrugging as if he’d done nothing wrong.

“How are we this morning?” Speedo asked kindly. “My name is Dimitri, and I will be your guide on this wondrous day. Let us find our centers and truly know what it is to have inner peace as we acquaint ourselves with our bodies.”

 _Fucking_ _gag me._ Ben groused internally. There was only one body he wanted to acquaint himself with and she was wearing hot pink and gray lycra.

Speedo, as Ben could not stop mentally referring to him, walked through their group, assessing them individually and stopping at Rey to offer her a bright smile. “Ah, you have done the yoga before, no?”

She grinned shyly. “I take a class back home.”

He wagged a finger. “I knew it. You have the perfect figure for the yoga.”

She blushed. Ben wondered how easy it might be to rip Speedo’s dick off through his nylon man panties and felt his eye twitch as the instructor placed a hand on the small of Rey’s back to straighten her posture.

“Ah,” he praised. “See? The muscles never forget.”

Just _how_ much trouble _would_ he get in for breaking this man’s legs?

Ben clenched his fists, knowing Rey would not be happy if he made a scene and willing himself to calm as the instructor finally moved on from Rey. Fuck, he didn’t know why he felt so damned possessive of her, but he was just about ready to pee on her damn leg if it kept Banana Hammock away from her.

When he was done assessing them, Speedo returned to the front of the class, smiling out at them brightly and beginning to demonstrate the first pose. He began by teaching them a Sun Salute pose, some half-assed toe touch that ended with him reaching for the sky.

He had them repeat this a few times, Ben willing himself not to watch Rey as she bent over repeatedly, and tried to get into the class— even if he felt like a complete asshole. When Speedo was satisfied, he began to demonstrate a new pose, one that required them all to lie on their mats and arch their bodies upwards.

He walked through them, adjusting them as necessary and hovering at Rey to kneel beside her, his hands pressing into her spine to adjust her. When Ben saw him sliding his hands up her calves next to straighten her legs, he almost bit off his tongue.

This continued— being led through the regimen as Speedo continued to pay special attention to Rey all throughout. Ben was a simmering ball of rage by the end of the class, his teeth more than likely chipped from the way he had been grinding them together to keep his anger in check.

He saw Rey chatting with the instructor after class, the Tarzan wannabe pushing back a stray lock of hair over her forehead, and for a moment Ben fantasized about feeding that finger to a shark— among other appendages.

He felt like a fucking caveman but he needed to get Rey alone _fast_ and fuck his mark right into her.

He moved to steal her away, but Hux stopped him by grabbing at his arm. “Hey, do you mind going with me to pick up our tuxes? I dropped them off at the dry cleaners yesterday to be pressed and I got a text alert from the service saying they’re ready.”

Ben glanced back to Rey, still chatting with the devil in nylon, and grit his teeth knowing he couldn’t say no. He was the best man after all. He nodded stonily, forcing a tight smile. “Yeah, man. No problem.”

“Great,” Hux beamed. “The girls want to hit some luau at the resort tonight and they’re all going shopping for dresses apparently.”

Suddenly Ben’s mind was occupied with Rey in a coconut bra and a grass skirt and if he wasn’t sexually charged before he sure as fuck was then. He had to suppress the urge to groan and force himself to imagine _Poe_ in a speedo just to calm himself down.

He let his eyes slide mournfully over the sinful coverings Rey called pants one last time, letting out a sigh as he followed after Hux, tapping out a text to Rey to let her know where he was going— and to let her know they had things to attend to when he got her alone again. He grinned as he slid the phone back into his pocket, the thought of her naked body writhing beneath him enough to distract him from this aggravation at the handsy instructor. Let him look— Rey was all his.

...at least for this week.

* * *

**Ben: If you think Speedo was touching you just wait until I get you alone again.**

Rey squirmed after reading his text for what might have been the tenth time that day, sitting on the stool at the open bar of the large cabana that stood at the center of the area where the luau was in full swing. She hadn’t seen him since that morning, enjoying his obvious jealousy over their handsy instructor just a little more than she probably should have.

She sipped at her Margarita, scanning the crowd for a glimpse of him and feeling disappointed when she didn’t spot his dark mass of _just-been-fucked_ hair he so artfully maintained— she still wondered if he spent an inordinate amount of time on it in the mornings or if he was just blessed with it. She leaned towards the latter; she was more than acquainted with how _blessed_ Ben Solo was physically, and why should his hair be any different?

She was still caught somewhere between shock and triumph over her escapades under the table at lunch yesterday, replaying the moment in her mind over and over. It had made her feel powerful, reducing someone as strong-willed as Ben Solo to a distracted mess. Her blood had heated with his cock in her mouth, a deep arousal of her own blooming that he’d been all too happy to take care of when they’d returned to her room.

It alarmed her just how much she thought about Ben, but what alarmed her more was just how many of those thoughts _didn’t_ linger on just the physical aspect of him. Yes, Ben was sinfully good-looking, and carved like marble— he was all too aware of those facts unfortunately— but he was also funny, even thoughtful when he wanted to be. It made these lines she’d drawn start to blur slightly, made her entertain… something more.

Which was utterly ridiculous.

They lived on opposite sides of the country, and Ben hadn’t given her any indication that he was interested in anything beyond sex anyway. They had fun— and he sure as fuck knew how to please her, but that’s all this could ever be and she had to remind herself of that. Otherwise she was just setting herself up to be hurt.

“Rey,” a voice sounded beside her. “How nice to see you again.”

She had to suppress the urge to groan. She hadn’t expected to see Dimitri again after the yoga class, assuming that enduring his flirting had been harmless fun. He thankfully was more dressed this time; she shuddered to think of having to spend more time with him in only a Speedo.

“Oh, hello Dimitri.”

“You look beautiful tonight.”

His eyes raked down her meager cleavage on display, grinning appreciatively. She had to will her face to smooth over in a look other than a grimace. Suddenly the slim maxi dress in pale blue that she’d picked out with Ben in mind made her uncomfortable.

“Oh, thanks.”

He leaned closer over the bar, sipping at his drink. “Would you like to go somewhere more quiet to chat?”

“Um, actually I’m—”

“She’s waiting for me.”

She jumped to find Ben on her other side, his jaw tense as he regarded Dimitri with thinly veiled malice. His arms were crossed over his chest threateningly, staring down at Dimitri who was a good four inches shorter than Ben and forced to look up.

“My apologies,” Dimitri grumbled. “I did not know you were involved.”

“Oh, we’re not—” Rey started as Ben cut her off.

“Now you know,” he warned. “So if you don’t mind.”

Dimitri was still muttering under his breath as he left, Ben watching him go with completely undisguised contempt.

“Why don’t you just pee on my leg while you’re at it?” Rey laughed.

He clicked his tongue. “You know I actually considered it earlier when he was touching you. Motherfucker.”

She was slightly taken aback, realizing the extent of Ben’s jealousy and oddly enjoying it, even if she had to remind herself not to let it go to her head. She studied his outfit, dressed in khaki shorts and a crisp white button down that he left unbuttoned to a dark navy t-shirt underneath. The sleeves were rolled to the elbow, his tattoos on full display and catching her eye’s attention as they often seemed to lately.

“I take it the tuxes are all taken care of?” she wondered, trying to distract him from his mood.

He glanced down at her, breaking his gaze from Dimitri’s retreating figure and seeming to really notice her at last. “I—” She watched his eyes linger at the plunging neckline of her dress. “I think so. Everyone’s sorted.”

“That’s good.”

“Mhm.”

“My eyes are up here you know.”

“I’m aware, but I’m looking at your tits right now.”

She barked out a laugh as he gave her a wicked grin, always stuck between wanting to slap him or kiss him. Too bad there were so many people around just then.

“Yo, Ben!” They turned to see Poe approaching, leaning over the bar conspiratorially and giving them a smirk. “You going to ask Rey to dance?”

Rey frowned. “Poe, Ben doesn’t want to—”

“Actually I do.” She looked up at him, his gaze heated as he regarded her. “Do you want to dance, Rey?”

She swallowed, Poe still giving her an encouraging look even as she was ensnared by Ben’s heated gaze. She nodded finally, setting her drink on the counter and taking his hand that he had outstretched towards her. Ben pulled her out onto the wooden dance floor, the pulsing song that had been playing switching over to some sultry tune that was entirely too sexual for the kind of dancing she had in mind.

Ben pulled her close, his large palm flattening over the small of her back as the other clutched her own. He pressed her against him, her pelvis molding to his as he began to move in time with the music. Rey glanced around nervously to their friends, catching more than one eye on them and biting her lip.

“Relax,” Ben breathed into her ear. “It’s just a dance.”

Only it wasn’t. Not for her. His body against hers left her flushed, every hard edge of him molded to her. He leaned again to murmur at her ear, his voice low. “You know, I think you tried to make me jealous this morning.”

“What makes you think I would do that?”

“It worked, you know.”

“It did?”

“You know it did, Rey,” he almost growled. “Did you want me to fuck you right there on the deck?”

“N-no.”

“No? You didn’t want me to tear off those fucking cockteasers you call pants and take your little cunt right there in front of everyone?”

“ _God,_ no,” she denied, her voice just a little too breathless.

He tilted his hips forward, Rey feeling the hard length of him pressed against his shorts, rigid at her thigh. “What about now? Do you want me to fuck you now?”

She had to bite back a moan, acutely aware that all of their friends were mingling in the crowd of people. Her core _throbbed_ with need, the idea of him sinking into her heat at that moment enough to make her skin pebble.

“Answer me, Rey. Do you want me to fuck you?”

“ _Yes,”_ she hissed out. Unable to even pretend otherwise.

He grinned down at her, enjoying her concession just a little too much and sparking that urge in her to defy him, even if in that moment it was impossible. The song began to wane, and Ben stilled to lean into her ear again. “The poolhouse. Five minutes.”

Then he was gone, disappearing into the crowd and leaving her breathless on the dance floor. She crossed the floor, moving to the bar to order another drink to steady her nerves. She downed it quickly, not noticing Hux seated there giving her a curious look.

“Is something going on between you and Ben?”

Rey jumped, trying to steady herself and shaking her head innocently. “No? Why do you ask?”

Hux narrowed her eyes. “You two just seem… like you’re hiding something.”

“Come on. That would be a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Would it though? Ben’s great. You’re great. I don’t see a problem.”

“We live on opposite sides of the country.”

“Details.”

“He’s probably used to being with different women all the time.”

Hux cocked an eyebrow then. “What makes you think that?”

“I mean, just look at him. He oozes that… _come hither_ look.”

Hux chuckled. “I’ve known Ben a long time, Rey. A _long_ time… and you know what?”

Rey shook her head, extremely curious. Hux stood, patting her on the shoulder before leaving her to it. “I’ve _never_ seen him look at a woman they way he was just looking at you on that dance floor. If that interests you.”

He left her to her thoughts then, her mind mulling over what he’d said even as his words ate away at her inside. She didn’t know what to _do_ with that information, so instead she shook it away, striding off through the crowd to follow after Ben.

She pushed through the throngs of people, making her way through the well lit area and finding herself at the gate to the outdoor pool. She slipped inside, quietly moving through the darkened poolside towards the small building huddled at the edge of the gated area. She glanced around, seeing no one in this part of the resort and knocking tentatively on the door. It opened immediately, his large hand pulling her inside and pinning her against the back of the door as he crushed his mouth to hers.

His fingers gripped at her waist, the soft fabric of her dress bunching in his hold as he molded her body to his. His lips broke from hers to skirt along her jaw, grinding his hips into hers as his cock pressed insistently through his shorts to cradle between her legs.

“Well, this is familiar,” he chuckled.

“Mm, still jealous?”

“Not so much,” he murmured, his hand tracing up her thigh from beneath her dress to settle over her underwear. “I know that at least for now— _this_ belongs to me.”

She gasped softly, his fingers stroking at her through the cotton of her underwear, capturing her soft cry with his mouth for a searing kiss.

“I’ve thought about you… _all_ day.”

“Yeah?” Rey grinned.

He groaned. “I can’t seem to think of anything else.”

“So… you kind of like me, huh?”

He stilled, leaning back to gaze down at her, his dark eyes locked with hers and full of some emotion she couldn’t quite put a name to.

“Yes, Rey,” he answered quietly. “I like you.”

She swallowed around the lump in her throat, winding her arms around his neck to pull him to her. His kiss was gentler then, less frantic than before and yet still leaving her breathless as he consumed her wholly. His hands were moving— not with the feverish intensity she was used to but instead slowly moving over her skin as if trying to memorize every inch of her.

She felt his palms under her thighs, hoisting her upwards to crush her against him as he carried her across the room to sit her on the counter at the sink. Her dress gathered over her thighs as Ben settled between them, his hands pushing it upwards to bunch at her waist. She felt his fingers teasing at her slit, tracing over the fabric there as his lips brushed against hers.

“You’re already so wet for me,” he murmured. “Did you think about me today? Did you think about my cock filling this little cunt when that Speedo motherfucker had his hands on you?”

She bit her lip, tilting into his hand to seek more friction. “ _Ben.”_

“Do you know what it did to me? Seeing him touch you?”

She shook her head, her mouth falling open as he pressed at her entrance through the thin cotton.

“I’ve never wanted to leave my mark on someone like I do you. Just the _thought_ of someone else touching you makes me insane. I want everyone to know who you belong to.”

“Who says I belong to you?” she whispered.

He went still, peering down at her heatedly as his finger rested just beneath her chin to tilt it upwards. “You could. If you wanted to.”

She sucked in a breath, his honesty taking her by surprise and leaving her at a loss for words.

“Ben, I—”

He silenced her with his mouth, covering hers and pulling her close. She lost herself in his kiss, his tongue stroking at hers heavily as his hand gripped her chin. She let her fingers linger at his waistband, tugging him closer before working the button of his shorts apart. She pushed them over his hips, tugging next at his underwear and hearing him moan softly when her fingers wrapped around his straining length.

She pumped him slowly, lingering at the head to let her thumb smear the pre-cum gathered there and coating it back down his cock as he thrust into her hand. His forehead rested against hers, his eyes shut tight.

“I need to be inside you,” he grated.

“Then get over here.”

His fingers worked her underwear over her hips roughly, tucking them in his pocket and pulling her to the edge of the counter. He pushed against her entrance, sliding inside her slick channel slowly as his fingers dug into the soft skin of her thighs.

“ _Fuck,”_ he ground out. “It’s always so good. So fucking good. Tell me you feel that, Rey.” He stroked into her deeply, watching himself sink inside her with gritted teeth. “ _Tell_ me.”

“Ah, I do. I do, Ben. I feel it too.”

_“Fuck.”_

His hand moved to her nape, fisting in her hair and tugging it roughly to bend her neck, angling her to cover her mouth with his as his cock filled her again and again. She felt his fingers at her clit, rubbing quick circles into the taut bud of nerves and slamming into her heat roughly as his tongue filled every part of her mouth to claim it.

“ _Ben_ , I'm going to—”

“Fucking _come_.”

His fingers at her clit were punishing, applying just the right amount of pressure to leave her gasping for breath. She felt his hips stuttering, his breath leaving him in a huff as his lips fell to her throat, his teeth taking over the skin there.

“ _Yes,_ right there— I’m going to—”

She shuddered as her orgasm tore through her, clamping down on his cock as he wrapped a hand around her waist to pull her into his thrusts as his breath washed over her skin in deep pants. He let out a grunt as he slammed inside her to hold, his cum jetting out of him in blooming warmth. His cock convulsed as he emptied inside her, his large body shaking as he pulled her close.

When he was still, she felt his lips moving over her skin, trailing over her jaw to settle on her mouth. They moved over hers lazily, pulling at her lips to nip at them with his teeth. He slid out of her with a groan, his hands cupping her jaw to kiss her again slowly.

Rey didn’t know what this meant for them, but she knew this time had felt different, and she wasn’t quite ready to deal with the influx of feelings pooling in her chest. She cleared her throat, needing to distract herself from the heavy silence that had settled between them.

“Still jealous?” she teased.

He grinned against her mouth, huffing out a laugh. “I think you might have tamed the green monster.”

“Oh, is that what you call it?”

“I mean… you’ve seen it.”

“Oh god,” she laughed. “You _are_ a monster.”

“Yes,” he chuckled, shrugging softly. “I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, someone’s catching feelings.


	8. What Are You Afraid Of?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus, I’m just starting _and_ ending these damned things with smut now... but those _feelings_. Lawd.

* * *

 “ _Oh God.”_

The water cascaded over them, running in tiny rivulets over their skin as it poured from the overhead faucet. Ben kept her pressed against the tile, one large hand wrapped under her thigh to spread her legs wider as he drove into her from behind.

“Tell me what you need,” he grated into her ear.

“Your hand,” she choked out. “Touch me.”

He was there in an instant, his fingers pressing into her clit with force and rubbing a torturous pattern.

“Ah, _Ben.”_

Somehow in the span of days he’d learned her body better than even her. He knew that she liked his teeth on her, he knew that she wanted his grip on her skin tight, he knew just the right amount of pressure to apply between her legs to leave her gasping.

Not to mention he knew _exactly_ what that _fucking_ mouth did to her.

“Your cunt is somehow hotter than the fucking _shower,”_ he grit out. “And everytime I do _this_.” He dipped his hips to slam upwards into her. “You fist my cock like a goddamned vice.”

She let out a moan, the heel of his hand over her belly applying pressure as his fingers ground into her throbbing clit. She felt him swelling inside her, his hips stuttering in their thrusts and she knew he was as close as she was.

“Gonna fill you up,” he groaned. “I want you so filthy you can never get clean.”

“ _Ben.”_

She shook so hard she almost lost her footing, Ben’s hands immediately moving to steady her with a strong grip at her thighs as she came apart on his cock. His breath left him in sharp huffs as he followed after, slamming into her roughly as thick jets of warmth flooded her womb.

His large body rested against hers, pressing her into the cool tile as the heated water poured over them, Ben’s lips moving over her slick skin even as his cock pulsed inside her.

“You said you’d be good if I let you shower with me,” she chastised, wincing as he slid out of her tender flesh and left another lingering kiss at her shoulder.

“I lied.”

Later, he stood over her, his large fingers working shampoo into her hair as she hummed in content.

”I could get used to this.”

He stilled, his voice a low murmur that carried too much meaning. “Could you?”

And just like that she felt the breath leave her lungs, Ben again in so many words quietly offering the one thing that terrified her most.

_More._

His words from the night before had hung between them like a thick cloud, ever at the forefront of her mind and yet neither of them willing to address it.

“ _Who says I belong to you?”_

“ _You could. If you wanted to.”_

She didn’t say anything, and neither did he. Just continued to slowly scrub at her scalp, working it into a lather with his long fingers. Her mind whirred in their silence, the knowledge of their time being half over weighing on her heavily.

What _did_ she want?

She knew the answer to that question, if she was being honest with herself, but it _terrified_ her.

It had been years since she had trusted another person in the way that Ben seemed to want her to. She had been informed through years of therapy that her deep fear of commitment was rooted in the abandonment of her parents, which made perfect sense— but it did nothing to staunch the terror that swelled inside of her.

What would happen if she gave him more than just her body?

What if she gave him her _heart,_ and one day he decided he didn’t want it? What if all of the factors that weighed against them proved too great, and he left her too?

She tried not to dwell on it. Tried to think of only his fingers at her scalp, and the warmth of the water that poured over them. There were still days left. This wasn’t over. Not yet.

* * *

Rose had been staring at her for the last ten minutes, her eyes boring a hole into the side of Rey’s head as they sat in the back of the car. Rey tried her best not to look guilty, _knowing_ the question that was eating at Rose and silently pleading that she didn’t ask it.

As if that would happen.

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and Ben?”

Rey turned to look out the window. “Nothing is going on.”

“Mhm,” Rose hummed skeptically. “I’m not blind you know. You look at him like you two have a secret and he looks at you like… _fuck,_ like the sun comes out of your vagina.”

Did he really? The possibility left Rey momentarily speechless, as crude as Rose’s suggestion was.

“You’re blushing,” Rose accused.

“I am not. It’s just hot on this side of the car.”

“Uh-huh. So you’re really going to pretend nothing is going on?”

Rey pressed her lips together. “There’s nothing to tell.”

Rose sighed. “When you’re ready to talk about it, you know I’m here for you, right?”

“Don’t worry about me,” Rey assured her. “This is your _wedding_ week.”

“Okay, but you’re my _best friend._ If you need me— I’m here.”

Rey could only nod, turning to look out the window and seeing the airport coming into view. Thank God, it gave her a reason to change the subject. “I’m really excited to see Paige again.”

Rose beamed. “Me too. I haven’t seen her since my birthday a couple months ago. She’s been so busy.”

“Paging Dr. Paige,” Rey remarked amusedly.

“Yeah— she's heard that one. It won’t get you a laugh.”

“It shouldn’t,” Rey laughed. “It’s terrible.”

When the shuttle came to a stop, Rose and Rey clambered out, informing the driver they would be right back as they pressed towards the gate. They spotted her pushing her way through the crowd, waving her hand when she caught a glimpse of them and picking up her pace. She launched herself at them in a hug when she approached, throwing her arms around the pair of them and squeezing them tight.

“Oh my God, I've _missed_ you guys!”

Rose scrambled out of her grip. “Okay. Can’t breathe.”

“How was your flight?” Rey asked.

Paige shrugged one shoulder, pulling the strap on her duffle tighter. “Long. I had just gotten out of surgery a couple of hours before so I had to try and sleep on the plane. It did not go well.”

“Well the beds at the hotel are fucking heaven,” Rose assured her.

“Mm,” Paige hummed, falling into step with them as they made their way back to the shuttle. “I can’t wait.”

* * *

 The bar was incredibly crowded for a Thursday night, the boys having gone on ahead with Phasma while Rose and Rey took Paige back to the hotel to settle. They pressed their way inside then, moving through the thick crowd in search of their friends and finding them tucked away in a large booth on the other side of the bar.

She tried not to stare at Ben’s form behind the bar, his dark button-down stretched tight over his torso and the sleeves rolled to the elbows to show the inked patterns of his arms that had been wrapped around her for the greater part of the week.

Ben certainly didn’t try and hold back as she did, his dark eyes a heavy weight that she felt lingering on her body as she passed to make her way to the booth. She settled in behind Rose and Paige, glancing at Ben every so often and resisting the urge to go over and order a drink right away as an excuse to talk to him.

She noticed then that Paige had fallen into conversation with Poe, Paige telling him all about her job at the hospital as he and the others listened with interest. Rey noticed that Rose was staring at her again, a scrutinizing look on her face as if she could see right through her. She cleared her throat, shifting in her seat and opening her mouth to interrupt.

“Hey, I think I’m going to get a drink. Does anyone want anything?”

Paige halted her, shuffling out of the booth before Rey could exit. “No, no, let me get it. I owe you guys an, ‘I’m sorry I haven’t been around’, gift anyway.”

Rey felt disappointment settle in her gut, her one excuse to talk to Ben burning up before her eyes. She begrudgingly gave her drink order to Paige, the others following suit as Paige took off towards the bar, straight to _Ben._

Rey tried not to stare as she leaned over the bar, gesturing to their table and talking animatedly to Ben, who glanced over to them before grinning and chatting back. Paige’s eyes widened as a cheerful smile passed over her features, surely finding out that Ben was the best man as she launched into conversation with him as he mixed their drinks.

For a moment Rey was distracted by the way he moved while he worked, the muscles of his shoulders and arms working as he poured, shook, and stirred. She collected herself, making her glances more furtive, feeling something hot and ugly building inside her as Paige touched Ben’s forearm while she laughed.

The feelings inside her were foreign and unpleasant, and they coursed through her like a match to kindling as they filled her with an unsettling heat. She couldn’t help but notice the way Paige’s fingers lingered over Ben’s arm. Couldn’t stop herself from her watching as Paige leaned in closer to speak to him clearer. She hated the way she felt then, but she hated the way Paige touched him even more.

She forced herself to look away, thankful that at least Rose hadn’t seemed to witness her internal struggle. Rey had never been jealous in her entire life. Of anything. Least of all _Paige,_ who for all accounts and purposes might as well be her sister. Still, she couldn’t deny the white-hot possessive streak that had coursed through her when she’d seen Paige’s obvious flirtation.

Ben hadn’t exactly shut her down either… and why would he? It wasn’t as if they were exclusive. Why should he pretend otherwise?

_“You could. If you wanted to.”_

Again his words came back to haunt her. She stole another glance his way, Paige finally leaving the bar with their drinks in hand. When Ben caught her staring, he grinned wider and give her a sly wink. She felt a more pleasant warmth flood her, chasing away the sticky feelings that had clung to her moments before.

Jealousy was very new to her— and she didn’t like it one bit.

* * *

Things did not get better once Ben’s shift had ended. He’d taken a seat at their booth, their seating arrangement leaving only the spot at the end open— right next to where Paige had settled upon returning with their drinks earlier. Rey tried to stamp down the flare of heat that licked at her insides, nothing like the warmth she felt with Ben but something uncomfortable and hard to ignore.

She felt it growing with every brush of Paige’s fingers at his arm, asking about his tattoos. She felt it when she turned inward to speak directly to him, quiet as they shared a private conversation. Ben was friendly and engaging, as he always was, and Paige was obviously interested.

Every time Paige touched him Rey’s mind forced her to relive Ben’s hands on _her._ Fisted in her hair. Gripping at her skin. Gliding lower to—

She might actually be sick from the vicious emotion that consumed her.

She stood abruptly, perhaps even a little _too_ quickly for the way everyone’s eyes fell on her, and she muttered an excuse about finding the bathroom. She stalked off in a huff, her mind filled with the memories of Ben’s hands tainted with the image of Paige leaning too close into his ear.

She found the bathroom tucked away down a darkened hallway, idly thinking to herself just how sketchy that was and pushing inside to shut the door quickly behind herself. She leaned over the small sink, turning on the tap to splash water on her neck and giving a sigh. She was not this person, and she hated herself for feeling this way.

She turned to lean against the counter of the tiny bathroom, grateful it was a one occupant space that allowed her to deal with the tumultuous emotions roiling inside her.

 _Did_ she want more?

How would it even work?

How could it _not_ end in heartache?

A knock jolted her from her musings, and she squeaked out notice that she would be right out.

“It’s me.”

Oh. Even through the door the muffled rumble of his voice caused a shiver to pass through her, as if instead he’d said it directly against her ear. She only hesitated a moment before unlocking the door, unable to even pretend she could turn him away.

He slipped inside to close the door once more, locking it and leaning against it to study her. His brow furrowed and his lips pressed into a tight line, he regarded her frazzled state.

“What’s wrong?”

“Who says something’s wrong?”

Ben frowned. “You’ve been scowling for an hour.”

“Maybe I just don’t feel good.”

“You’re a terrible liar.” Her eyes fell to the floor, unable to admit the embarrassing feelings that clung to her. He took a step closer, his hand cupping her chin to urge her to look at him. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

“I don’t know what we’re doing anymore.”

It was as honest as she could be, and it was the main root of everything she felt. What _were_ they doing? She had assured herself that she could keep her distance, that she could separate emotion from physical and walk away from this unchanged.

She didn’t know anymore if that were true.

His thumb brushed idly along her jaw as he considered her. “Why do you think that is?”

His eyes were soft, the deep umber flecked with honey and trained on her as he waited for an answer.

“Because—” she struggled, her voice dropping to a whisper as she swallowed around the lump in her throat. “Because I don’t know what I want.”

“Don’t you?”

She looked away, giving a shrug of her shoulders.

“I think you do,” he continued. “I think you’re just afraid.”

“Afraid,” she echoed, as if testing the word.

He nodded. “What are you afraid of?”

What was she afraid of? So many things. She was afraid of opening herself up to something more only to be let down again. She was afraid of allowing herself to feel the things that her heart so desperately wanted her to feel only to be disappointed. She was afraid of leaving at the end of the week end never seeing him again. She was terrified of so much and yet it all boiled down to one thing.

“You,” she whispered.

“You don’t have to be,” he assured her, his hands moving to rest against her jaw as he forced her gaze to his. “Don’t be afraid... I feel it too.”

He kissed her then, slowly, _sweetly—_ with none of the fiery intensity she’d become used to and yet still her insides seemed to melt from his ministrations. His tongue swept inside to roll over hers, his body moving flush with her own as he pulled her close. Her head swam from both the heat of his mouth and the revelation of his words. She allowed herself to hope for once that maybe things could work out— maybe, just this once.

When he pulled away, he sported that same teasing grin that drove her crazy, his voice low as he spoke. “Also… you don’t have any reason to be jealous.”

“I wasn’t—” She blushed as his knowing look silenced her, and she turned away with a scowl. “You knew?”

“I did. I just wanted to see if you might admit it.”

“I don’t like feeling that way.”

“You shouldn’t in the first place.” He again forced her to look at him. “Rey… do you think I could see _anyone_ else when you’re around?” She sucked in a breath as he lifted her to sit her on the counter, moving her as if she were nothing. She felt his hand settle at the hem of her sundress just below her knee, sliding over the top of her thigh as he continued. “Do you think I could think of _anyone_ else but you? Do you not understand the hold you have on me?”

She shook her head in a daze, his thumb brushing against the inside of her thigh as he pushed higher. “Rey, I can't _stop_ thinking about you. Every fucking minute of every single day. How can you not see that?”

She felt the pads of his fingers brushing over the lace of her underwear then, tracing the seam of her through the fabric as let out a shaky breath. His mouth descended to hers, his lips moving over hers softly as she felt him hook a finger against the edge of her underwear to tug them aside. She moaned softly as he sunk two of his thick digits inside, pressing deep and curling to stroke at her slick inner walls.

“Do you feel that? How tight you are? How _wet?_ How could I not be thinking about this every second of every day?”

He withdrew only to pump them in and out of her, his lips moving over hers heavily and swallowing the tiny sounds that escaped her. When she felt his thumb at her clit, rubbing deep circles into the taut bud, she felt her back arch of its own accord and he pulled her closer, never ceasing his efforts below.

She let her fingers grip at his shirt, tugging him towards her as her mouth fell open in a quiet gasp, feeling warmth bloom between her legs as her orgasm neared.

“You’re close,” he rasped. “I can feel it, you know? I can feel everything. Every little change, every tiny movement, I _know_ your body, Rey… because it’s _mine_.”

He accentuated his point by grinding his fingers into her, his thumb pressing into her clit harder and sending her tumbling over the edge. She buried her face in his shirt as she fell apart, his fingers still trailing through her wet folds to circle her the swollen bud and sending tiny aftershocks through her core.

He pressed a kiss to her temple as he finally withdrew, and she looked up to catch him cleaning his fingers of her with his own mouth. He grinned at her shocked expression, ducking to press a kiss at her mouth as his hand cupped her nape to hold her to him.

“We’ve been gone awhile,” Rey worried.

“I told them I needed to check on some things in the back.”

“Oh,” she frowned. “I think Rose suspects something.”

“Is that really such a bad thing?”

She looked up at him, his eyes catching hers, and she saw in them then the spark of vulnerability he worked so hard to hide. She felt her chest grow tight, finally giving a shake of her head.

“No. I guess it isn’t.”

He rewarded her with a grin, helping her off the counter to her feet as he moved to leave first. He turned at the door, his smile turning wicked.

“Try not to scowl so much,” he teased. “If you keep acting jealous I might start to think you like me.”

She stood for several moments after he’d left, her lips pressed into a tight line before she spoke out to the empty room.

“I’m starting to think I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all might have noticed the chapter count! I have this thing plotted out now. I’m laughing because my smutty little story doubled in size and got all this angst and feelings and well, here we are. Haha. ❤️


	9. Who Owns Who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whatever we’re just plowing into sapville.

* * *

 

“Why did I let her talk me into another day at the beach?” Hux groaned quietly, watching his tiny thing of a fiancé chatting with her sister as they lay draped over a towel.

“Because she’s going to be giving you regular sex for the rest of your life,” Ben laughed.

“Oh, right.”

Hux sighed, adjusting the bucket hat she made him wear and settling further into the shade of the large umbrella they’d pitched in the sand. He let his gaze wander, trailing across the beach to land on the only thing that really held his attention— finding her kicking a spray of water in the surf in retaliation of something Poe had done. Finn stood nearby, shaking his head as if they were children while they all laughed.

He let his eyes linger, her tiny bikini a cardinal sin red this time that left him feeling the need to pay penance. Hux had leaned back against the blanket, his shades firmly in place as he began to doze, which allowed  Ben to drink in Rey’s form without fear of question. Not that he would mind being caught really at this point, but he knew it was still somewhat important to her that they kept things discreet, despite what she’d said the night before.

He had to admit it had thrilled him to see her so riled over him, the first bit of tangible evidence that she felt any level of possession for him that he felt for her— and did he feel possessive. He didn’t know how to explain to a woman he’d met less than a week ago that he wanted to be so much more to her.

He thought about her so often it could be deemed criminal. He woke up with her face in mind and fell asleep with her words drifting through his ears. Never before had he been so… _consumed_ by another person. He wanted to make her life better, he wanted to _be_ better. Just for her.

If only he could tell her that.

He’d seen the fear in her eyes, sensed the way she still held herself back from him. To outright tell her what he wanted with her would set her off in a run, but he knew time was running out. With every passing hour he felt the week coming to an end and the thought of her climbing back onto a plane and disappearing from his life caused cold dread to settle into his stomach.

Ben had seen some awful things in his life, things that kept him awake at night and crept into his thoughts when he closed his eyes. He knew though that watching her walk away would trump them all. That he would _never_ recover.

He watched Poe sneak up from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist and hurling her into the ocean as she came up sputtering and he presumed cursing as well. Her smile that followed was easy— like a light that rivaled the bright beams that fell over the beach and for a moment Ben felt blinded by it.

He’d seen that same smile rare occasions when they were alone, and he wished more than anything that _he_ could be the one to put it there more than anyone else. He wanted to make her smile, make her laugh, make her roll her eyes, make her squeal in surprise— but he didn’t want to _hide_ it. He wanted everyone to know just how much of a hold she had on him.

He just had to show her how much of a hold that really was first.

* * *

The day had quickly spiraled into a disaster.

Every time Ben tried to get Rey alone, the rest of their group seemed to have made it their personal mission in life to divert her attention elsewhere. It didn’t help that Rose’s sister seemed to have _actually_ taken a liking to him, taking every chance she got to touch him somehow, or lean too close, and every instance left Rey scowling.

While on the one hand it made him equal parts hopeful and horny to see Rey so worked up over him, on the other he didn’t want to give Paige any indication that anything could happen between them. Plus, he rather liked his balls just where they were and if Rey’s expression was any indication she had half a mind to rearrange them.

That was how he found himself sitting across from Rey, their group scattered about a covered picnic table and passing around sandwiches while she snuck furtive glances filled with all the annoyance she felt— and neither of them able to do anything about it.

Of course Paige had found herself seated directly beside Ben, making continuous friendly conversation that he felt compelled to engage in. It wasn’t as if he didn’t _like_ Paige— she was charming, and smart, and if he was being honest she was _gorgeous,_ but the fact of the matter was she wasn’t _Rey._ A deal breaker really, and short of bending Rey over the picnic table and fucking her senseless while everyone watched— an idea that admittedly didn’t _entirely_ lack merit— there wasn’t much he could do to stave away the awkwardness of the situation.

Well, actually, he supposed he could just casually mention to Paige that he was seeing someone. There was always that. Only… Rose was _always_ with Paige, even then she sat directly on the other side of her, and Rose _knew_ Ben was definitely not involved with someone. Not before Rey that is. To offer up that little kernel of information would only invite questions, ones he knew Rey wasn’t ready for him to answer.

Hence, disaster.

So there he sat, trapped between a rock and a hard place and at a loss for what to do about it. He almost snorted at his own thoughts— appropriate seeing as if he was subjected to much more of Rey in that fucking bikini he would definitely be caught between a rock and a _hard_ place.

She had a habit of adjusting the straps, the action lifting her breasts just so as they fell again softly to settle and draw his eye. He wondered if he teased her through the nylon with his tongue if it would pebble to a point, if he could tug at it with his teeth. He knew what sounds she would make— tiny gasps as her fingers tugged at his hair and that _almost_ imperceptible parting of her thighs as her body begged him for more before even she did with her own mouth.

 _Fuck_.

He _had_ to get this shit under control.

He tried to fall into the conversation around him, picking up on Rose chatting away about the upcoming rehearsal dinner and willing himself to pay attention.

“So basically I had to cry like a little bitch to the owner— but they finally got the flowers sorted,” Rose was saying. “She probably just got tired of listening to me blubber.”

“I’d like to tell you she’s exaggerating,” Hux laughed. “But the tear stains still lingering on our pillow would suggest otherwise.”

“Over _flowers?”_ Poe snorted.

Paige grimaced as she reached for a fry from the large basket between them. “Poe. They were trying to bring _sunflowers.”_

“I like sunflowers,” Rey piped up, and Ben couldn’t help but glance at her, thinking to himself just how perfect that was.

“But for a _wedding?”_ Paige urged with a wrinkling of her nose. “Thank God it’s all sorted now.”

Surely it was only Ben that noticed the tiny evolution of emotions across Rey’s face, the dip of her brows that suggested she was displeased by Paige’s answer, then the aversion of her eyes as if displeased with _herself_ for feeling that way. She caught his eye, _knowing_ he saw right through her and biting her lip slightly before looking away.

“I just need to know there’s going to be a big ass cake there,” Poe shrugged. “That’s the important thing.”

“ _How_ do you stay so in shape?” Finn muttered to himself. “It drives me batshit.”

“Aw, babe,” Poe teased. “Don’t be jealous. I love your curves.”

Finn rolled his eyes, and Ben couldn’t help but snort out a laugh, knowing Finn was probably stronger than Poe was. Ben nodded his head towards Phasma who was quietly munching on her sandwich, giving them a wicked grin.

“Bet Phas could take either of you on though.”

Poe scoffed. “Sure she could.”

Phasma raised an eyebrow then. “Care to find out?”

Poe pressed his mouth into a tight line, waving them off. “I won’t be strong-armed into getting into it with a lady.”

“Give me your arm, pretty boy and I’ll show you _strong-arm_ ,” she laughed.

“Here I thought we understood each other…” Poe sighed.

Phasma laughed loudly, Mitaka just shaking his head as if he were used to this sort of thing. They fell into hapless chatter once more, Paige unfortunately taking advantage to turn inwards and speak with Ben directly.

“So you have a _lot_ of tattoos,” she remarked. “How many do you think you have?”

Ben shrugged noncommittally. “Honestly I’ve lost count at this point.”

“They’re amazing. All by the same artist?”

Ben shook his head. “No. Several are, but I’ve moved around a lot over the last few years so kind of went where the wind blew me at the time.”

“I hear you. I _love_ this one,” she gushed, running her finger over the rose he’d gotten for his mother. She grinned coyly up at him, letting her finger linger on his skin and he didn’t need to look up at Rey to know she was scowling.

_Retreat, man. For God’s sake— retreat._

He removed himself from her grip as nonchalantly as he could, untangling himself from the picnic table and standing.

“I’ll be back,” he offered. “I need to check on something.”

He didn’t miss the way Paige pouted as he left, or the way Rey’s eyes followed him as he strode off down the beach with no other destination in mind than to put distance between himself and the persistent Paige.

What a fucking mess.

When he was sure he was out of sight of the table, he ducked into one of the tiny wooden outdoor dressing rooms, fumbling in his pocket for his phone with the intent of explaining everything to Rey before she got too angry.

He held open their text thread for far longer than was necessary, distracted momentarily by the dirty teasing she’d sent the day before. He smiled to himself, his nerves calmed just from reading her words.

He was still trying to determine what to say when he heard the soft knock.

He jolted, for a moment terrified Paige had followed him and _how_ awkward would it be when he turned her down? He had to suppress a groan just thinking about it. He kept quiet for a moment, hoping she would just decide he wasn’t actually in there and leave.

“It’s me.”

_Oh._

Why did this feel like déjà vu? He reached to unlock the door, and she ducked inside to lean against it after she’s closed it again.

“Hi.”

“Hey. What are you doing here?” Fuck, she was doing it again. He’d torn his eyes away from the soft swell of her hips only to be met with the sight of her breasts being adjusted. _For the love of God, Rey. Don’t adjust your straps right now._

She didn’t respond, just stood there frowning and making Ben increasingly nervous. Had she come to tell him off? “Listen, I know that looked bad, but you _have_ to know that I didn’t—”

Her sudden crossing of the space took him by surprise, Rey climbing into his lap and winding her arms around his neck as she ducked to kiss him. For a moment he remained stunned, her actions not what he’d expected at _all._

He broke away, taking in her flushed skin and her blown wide pupils and feeling his own heart begin to race. She didn’t pause, instead moving to mouth at the bend of his shoulder, her lips moving over his skin and making him shudder.

“What brought this on?”

She stilled for a moment, resuming just as quickly to leave a warm kiss at his skin before replying. “I just… seeing her touch you… I guess I needed to remind myself that— at least for _now_ you’re…”

He pushed her back to look at him, her brow furrowed in thought. “For now I’m _what,_ Rey?” She clenched her lips, looking away as if embarrassed, and he cupped her chin to bring her eyes back to his. “I’m _what?”_

“ _Mine,”_ she all but whispered.

That one word was like an entire chorus of angels and Ben felt like the fucking sky had opened up for him. He felt a deep elation flooding him, not particularly fond of the _for now_ she’d tacked on but too high from _mine_ to let it bother him.

“Am I?” he rasped, his words strangled by this sense of satisfaction one word had give him. “For now,” he added, knowing she still needed that distinction even if they both knew it wasn’t true.

She bit her lip, nodding softly and Ben felt his cock surge in response. He grinned, running his hands down her sides and toying with the ties of her bikini bottoms that sat in a bow at her hips.

“I don’t think you know what hearing that does to me,” he murmured.

She shifted against him, rolling her barely covered cunt against the hardening length of him, and he hissed out a breath as she grinned coyly. “I think I can guess.”

“Why don’t you show me?” he urged. “Show me who I belong to.”

He knew he was testing her, gently seeing how far she could take her own wants and praying that he wouldn’t scare her off. The dressing booth was tiny, with nowhere near enough room to do all the things he’d like but after finally hearing some semblance of admission that she felt even a fraction of what he did— he _needed_ to be inside her.

He watched her swallow, her mouth parting slightly as her eyes drifted below to the tented fabric of his swim trunks. She ran her finger over the pitched cloth, circling the head of his cock just underneath as he let out a shaky breath.

She didn’t say a word as she lifted herself from her perch on his lap, falling to her knees between his legs and reaching to pull at the velcro of his trunks. His teeth were clenched so hard he feared they might chip, leaning back on his hands and watching as Rey pulled his aching cock from his shorts.

Her slim fingers circled him, the paler skin a sharp contrast to the angry red of his erection as she stroked him lightly. His mouth went dry in anticipation; the last time she had done what she seemed to intend, she’d been beneath the cover of a tablecloth, and just the thought of seeing her pink lips wrapped around his cock had him twitching in her hand.

When her tongue first darted out to taste him, flattening along the underside of his shaft to swipe upwards over the head, he thought he could come right then. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her tongue as it swirled around the thick head, licking at the beads of pre-cum that had leaked out with one wide lap that had his balls drawing up in pleasure.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he grit out. “You keep that up this will be over before it starts.”

She smirked, eyes locked on his as she leaned in to take the head of him in her mouth, pushing down his length to let him slide over her tongue. With her lips wrapped around his cock and red from the effort of how she worked him, Ben had to restrain himself from thrusting harder into her mouth, wanting to let her set the pace. She closed her eyes as she pushed deeper, sinking down to take him all the way to the base and humming softly in a way that had him tensing.

His palm fell to the back of her head, gently guiding her as she began to bob up and down his cock. He breathed hard through his nose, her tongue brushing along the underside of him as she moved in the same way she’d that had driven him insane the last time she’d done this. He jerked when he felt the barely there scrape of teeth, just enough to send him shoving deeper into her throat, and she moaned around him at the obscene curses that spilled from his mouth.

“ _Look at you,”_ he hissed. “So fucking beautiful with a mouthful of my cock. Do you like it, Rey? Do you like the way I taste?”

He watched her squirm, and he knew if he reached between her legs he’d find her soaked for him, knowledge that only made him swell further. He knew that much more of this would lead to him shooting off down her throat, and he wanted nothing more than to be inside her when he came.

He pulled her off him suddenly, wrenching her upwards to crush her against him as he covered her mouth. He could practically feel her cunt through the thin scrap of her bottoms, and he ground his still aching cock against her folds as she gasped into his mouth.

“Want to feel you come when I do,” he murmured. “Stand up. Turn around and brace yourself against the door.” She stood on shaking legs, doing as he asked. Ben sat for a moment more, catching her eye as she looked over her shoulder, and jerked his chin towards her swim bottoms. “Take those off.”

She reached for the ties with trembling fingers, pulling at the strings to let the tiny scrap fall to her feet. He could just see the wet folds of her cunt, already drenched in anticipation, and he reached to dip a thumb into her entrance as she let out a moan.

“Better be quiet, Rey,” he chided. “Someone might hear you.”

She snapped her mouth shut, biting her lip even as she leaned backwards into his still teasing thumb. Her hips moved impatiently, and he rested a hand against one side to still her.

“Not enough?” he rasped. “Did you need something more?”

She nodded fervently, her eyes fluttering closed as her let his index finger slide through her folds to press at her clit. He finally withdrew, standing to wrap his hand around his cock and smearing her arousal down his length. He leaned over her, his lips at her throat as he dipped to nudge the head of his cock against her entrance.

“Is this what you need, Rey?” he murmured. “Is this what you wanted when you said you needed a reminder?”

“ _Yes_ ,” she hissed.

He slipped into her tight channel slowly, his lips at her ear as she stretched around him. Her mouth fell open, her hands shaking against the flimsy door and he never stopped until he was seated fully inside her. For a moment he remained still, reveling in the way they fit together. When he was inside her, there was no part of her he didn’t touch. It was _right._

He grasped her hips, urging her to bend as he pulled her against him. She whimpered when he pulled out to the head, a tiny mewl that he felt deep inside. He pulled at the soft skin of her earlobe with his teeth, nibbling softly as he pushed back inside.

“So many people just outside,” he grated. “I wonder if I can make you scream loud enough for them to hear?”

She gave a sharp gasp as he thrust into her with more force, enough force to rattle the door, and she let her head loll forward.

“ _Ben.”_

His name tore from her throat like a plea, and he knew exactly what she needed. His hand was around her waist without hesitation, fingers parting her soft folds to stroke at her clit as he stroked into her faster.

“You say I belong to you,” he huffed through gritted teeth. “Just for now… but who owns who?” He pressed into her clit just a little harder, swiping heavy circles. “Do you think there’s _anyone_ who can make you feel like this? Anyone at all who can know your body like I do?”

He watched her bite her lip, not willing to reply. It didn’t matter. He knew. _She_ knew. There was nothing outside of this. There never _would_ be. He just needed her to fucking _see._ He slammed into the warmth of her cunt even as he felt that tingling pressure begin to build, his cock swelling impossibly further. He needed to come inside her. Wanted his cum to stain her thighs and linger so _everyone_ would know he’d been there.

When she came apart around his cock, he had to steady her with an arm just to keep her from stumbling. Her limbs shook, her legs nearly giving out with the force of her climax. He felt his muscles tense as he struggled to continue, his thrusts faltering as he neared his own release. When he finally felt that familiar surge, spilling deep inside her as he held her close, he felt himself holding his breath against the overwhelming sensation.

He let it out with a soft groan, his lips falling to her skin as he gave a light thrust of his hips, only to feel the remnants of his spend against her inner walls. He was reluctant to pull away, content to remain like that for as long as he could, but he knew people would be looking for them. He almost wished they would just _find_ them. Maybe then Rey would let go of some of her tension. Like ripping off a band-aid.

When he was finally able to tear himself away from her, he had to practically hold her in his arms just to keep her from sinking to the ground. He gave her a wicked grin, pressing his lips to her temple.

“How’s that for a reminder?”

“Mm,” she hummed. “It’ll be hard to forget again.”

He forced her gaze upwards then, his hands at her jaw and his eyes surely revealing everything he felt in that moment. “You don’t need the reminder you know. You _know,_ Rey. You have to _know.”_

He watched her swallow, her mouth parting as if to speak and then closing just as fast. In her eyes he saw fear— cold and deep and surely brought on by a lifetime of disappointment. He would do anything to take it from her.

She only closed her eyes, leaning to let her forehead rest against his chest and he didn’t miss the soft sniffle or the slight shake of her shoulders. He only held her tight, allowing her to have whatever moment this was with the intent to be whatever she needed him to be.

She finally nodded against his chest, pressing up on her toes to leave a kiss at his mouth. He returned it, letting his eyes close and crushing her against him to pour everything he was feeling into the press of his lips against hers.

“Come to my room tonight,” he murmured as he broke away.

She only gave another nod, pressing one last kiss to his mouth before turning in search of her swim bottoms. She gave him a shy smile before she left him, and he lingered behind when she’d gone. There was some emotion in his chest, some heavy, pulsing thing that was somehow both hot and cold. The more he prodded at it the more it consumed him, filling him completely.

It was much too soon to put a name to it. Too soon to call it for what he suspected it was. He decided then that for now… he would simply call it hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking softboi. I love him.


	10. Holding Your Breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I don’t know where this emo shit came from. Apparently in my hiatus of writing garbage a lot of feelings got backlogged. *shrugs*
> 
> Moodboard gifted by the lovely [LadyBayba_ReyloGoddess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBayba_ReyloGoddess/pseuds/LadyBayba_ReyloGoddess)! ❤️

* * *

 

She was so nervous, and she couldn’t determine why. How many times had they been together that week? The walk to his room had felt like a much longer trek than it actually was, and with every step she felt a weight settling inside her belly.

Something had… shifted, that afternoon at the beach. If she was being honest with herself, she had known from the beginning that there was something to Ben that called to her deep inside. The things he invoked in her were both wonderful… and _terrifying._ She had never been one to depend on another person, or to let them see every part of her.

But that was the thing with Ben, wasn’t it? She didn’t have to show him everything, he just… saw. He saw her in ways no one else did. Right through the walls she kept built so high, straight through the barriers she used to shield herself from feeling too much, he had broken them down and left her defenseless.

It struck her as odd, standing outside his hotel room, that this was the first night of so many that she had been in his room. She was sure it looked the same as hers, sure that there was nothing about it that was out of the ordinary, but it _felt_ different.

 _Everything_ felt different.

She raised her hand to hover over the door, fisted tight for several moments before finally letting it rap softly against the wood. He was there in seconds, pulling it open and smiling at her like he’d been waiting on her. Like just seeing her made him happy. She wondered if that were true.

He pulled her inside, tugging her by the wrist and closing the door behind her to press her against it. The heavy weight of his body against hers was a welcome one, his hands cupping her jaw to let his mouth settle over hers. She let her fingers fist in his shirt to pull him closer, his kiss heavy and consuming and everything she needed.

“I missed you,” he murmured as he broke away.

She curled her lips against his in a smile. “It’s only been a few hours.”

“I know. Still.”

Why was it so easy for him? Ben had no problem expressing what he felt. Wasn’t he afraid? Didn’t he fear what could go wrong? She wanted to be like him. To dive in headfirst with only hope to keep her afloat.

The thoughts buzzing in her head threatened to overwhelm her— so she decided to do a little less thinking. She let her fingers trail at the hem of his shirt, pushing under the fabric to glide over the taut muscle beneath. He sucked in a shaky breath as her hands moved over his skin, pressing further into her as his hands fell to her waist.

When she let her fingers slide back to his jeans, toying with the button there, he reached to stop her. He pulled her hands upwards, pressing a kiss against her knuckles. 

“I think we should talk.”

She felt her heart sink. Talking was never good. It was certainly never _easy_. Already she felt cold anxiety settling over her.

“What about?”

He took a step away from her, and she wanted to pull him back. She needed his warmth.

“This.” He pointed a finger between the two of them. “All of this.”

She pulled her lip between her teeth, knowing exactly where this was going and unsure of how to handle it. She glanced to the floor, rubbing her arm idly.

“So, talk.”

“Hey.” He reached to tug at her hand, pulling her across the room to sit beside him on his bed. “Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out.”

“I’m not,” she argued weakly.

“You are though,” he sighed. “You’re already shutting down before I’ve even gotten any words out.”

She stared down at her lap. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“What?”

She pointed between them, much the same as he did. “This. All of this.”

He snatched her hand again, pressing it to his mouth and taking a deep breath. “That’s the beauty of it Rey. Neither do I.”

“So then… how?”

“We figure it out together,” he urged. “Every step of the way. The most important thing is that we _try.”_

“How, Ben?” she huffed, her voice raising just slightly. “How do we do that? You live here. You have a career here. I don’t. There is no way we can uproot either of our lives to explore this. Even if we wanted to.”

“I’m not tied to this place,” he offered resolutely. “I can do whatever I want.”

“Even if that _wasn’t_ a ridiculous thing to consider for someone you just met— it can’t possibly be that easy to just up and relocate on active duty.”

“You’re right,” he retorted curiously, turning his head to the side. “But I’m not on active duty.”

“What do you mean? Hux said… he said you were stationed here.”

“A slip of the tongue maybe? I mean— I _was_ stationed here. Until about a year ago. You think they just let me have killer hair like this because they think I’m pretty?” He grinned.

She frowned. “Why did you leave?”

“My uncle Luke, who owns the bar, he got sick. He was too fucking proud for a damned live-in nurse and refused to let my mother come out and help… so I did the only thing I could.”

Rey’s mind reeled with this information. “Is he still sick?”

“Actually no— they caught it early enough that they were able to nip it in the bud. He’s in remission now as of a couple months ago.”

“So… you’re not on active duty,” she echoed, dumbfounded.

“Nope. Officially on IRR status.”

“So what does that— what does that _mean,_ Ben?”

She was becoming overwhelmed, her chest tight with lingering dread that caused her to wring hands nervously. Ben noticed her tension, his arms encircling her to crush her against his chest. His hand smoothed over her hair, and she felt his lips at her temple.

“It means… whatever we want it to mean. It means that this can be whatever we want it to be. I know what I want, Rey. Do you?”

“I…” she started, her words trailing off as she pondered the question. She didn’t know if she was entirely sure herself. What she _did_ know— was that the idea of leaving this place, and never seeing him again, left an ache in her chest. She took a steadying breath, her voice softening to an almost imperceptible decibel. “I want you to kiss me.”

She almost felt his answering grin as he gently eased her back to look at her. “I can do a hell of a lot more than that.”

“Oh?” she teased. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk some more? I could put on some tea…”

She squealed as he pushed her to her back, crawling over her and pinning her wrists to the mattress. “You think you’re funny.”

Rey shrugged. “Maybe.”

“ _Maybe_ I should make better use of that smart mouth.”

“Well if you ever get done _talking…”_

His lips were on hers in an instant, silencing her deftly as his body settled over her. She didn’t think she would ever get over the way they felt— warm and plush as they melded against her own. When his tongue slipped past the seam of her mouth, she opened to allow it to delve inside.

She could feel his hands moving to thread through her hair, tugging softly to angle her and allow himself better access to her mouth.

Kissing Ben was a lot like… holding your breath. Not in the sense that you couldn’t _actually_ breathe _—_ no _,_ more like… that brief moment when all of the air caught in your lungs and for just _one singular moment,_ you wondered what it might be like if you couldn’t take that next breath. In that moment, the only thing that _mattered_ was that next breath. You took it— of _course_ you did. The air rushed into your lungs and everything was right again but for that _one singular moment—_ your entire world stood still.

In a lot of ways, that’s what her life had been this week— _holding her breath._

She let her fingers curl around the hem of his shirt, sliding it upwards over his abdomen to bare the firm skin there. He released his grip on her hair to allow her to pull it over his head, only breaking away for a moment as she tossed it aside. She took the opportunity to let her hands trail across his broad chest, enjoying the way his skin dipped with every hard line of muscle under her palms.

He let his face fall to the bend at her neck, his lips moving over the slender column over her throat as one large palm found its way under her shirt. She gasped when it covered her breast, his thumb brushing across the thin lace to tease her nipple. It hardened under his touch, pebbling as he worked it between his fingers.

“I love these,” he murmured against her skin, continuing to roll the taut bud of her nipple between her thumb and forefinger. “So responsive.”

He withdrew, only to pull up her shirt, baring the soft pink lace to his gaze and lowering to wrap his mouth around one hardened peak. He sucked at it through the fabric, his teeth grazing against it and causing a soft cry to escape her. She felt a dampness gathering between her thighs, and she had to press them together to seek some sort of relief for the deep throbbing that ensued.

As if in answer to her wordless plea, she felt his hand skirting along her belly to travel lower. It slipped beneath the band of her leggings, and she sent up a silent prayer of thanks that she chose to wear them. The rough pads of his calloused fingers were heavenly as they dipped between her wet folds, seeking the swollen bud of her clit to circle it slowly.

“Everything about you is responsive,” he rasped as he broke his hold on her nipple. “That’s what I love about your body… it comes _alive_ for me.”

Her back arched as she felt his fingers pressing lower, two thick digits pressing just inside her entrance to curl upwards into the wet heat of her cunt.

“Do you feel that?” He pushed deeper inside her, his fingers curling further into her slick channel to rub at the spongy patch just inside. “That _. All of that._ Every bit of it is for _me.”_

“ _Ben,”_ she mewled.

“Tell me, Rey. Tell me what you want.”

“You,” she breathed. “Inside.”

He slid up her body to press his lips against her jaw, his chest brushing against her nipples and causing her to shiver.

“You want me inside you? You want my cock?” She nodded as his lips lingered at the delicate line of her jawbone. “Say it, Rey. Say you want it.”

“Your cock,” she whimpered, his fingers pumping into her heavily before pulling away. “ _Please.”_

Ben’s lips curled into a grin, and she heard a satisfied hum deep in his chest. “Good girl.”

She whimpered when he withdrew his hand completely, only to sigh in relief when she felt him pulling at the stretchy coverings of her legs to wrench them away. She kicked off her sandals as he worked, and he rolled them down her thighs in one quick movement, dragging her underwear along with them and tearing them away to toss them aside.

When he moved back up her body, he lingered between her thighs, pushing them apart. “And _this_ ,” he rasped, so close to her core she could feel the warmth of his breath on her sensitive flesh. “ _This_ keeps me awake at night. Your cunt is god damned _pretty.”_

Her back bowed from the bed when he licked a lazy stripe up her center, asserting no pressure as if just to taste her. His palm settled between her hips to press her back to the mattress, and before she knew what was happening his mouth retreated as he crawled back over her.

He grabbed for the button of his jeans, working apart the denim before sliding down the zipper. He stopped his efforts to pull at her shirt, freeing her of it and tugging between the cups of her bra to urge her to get rid of it. She reached behind her to unfasten it, pulling the straps over her shoulders and shucking it aside to leave her naked beneath him.

Every inch of skin Ben revealed only made her hungrier for him, the deep vee of his abdomen giving way to powerful thighs and even stronger legs. She didn’t know how to explain just how pretty she found _him_ to be— his cock no exception. It jut out between them heavily, the steely length coated in velvet skin that was stained a darker red that clashed with his pale complexion.

She knew what it would feel like as he sank into her, had come to know the stretch of her cunt as he filled her like a new-aged religion that only she was a part of. She _held her breath_ when he dipped his hips, the head of his cock just brushing against her entrance, and he leaned to cover her mouth with his as he pressed inside.

_Exhale._

_Inhale._

“ _Ben.”_

His hands were in her hair again, curling around the loose tendrils as if anchoring himself. He rocked into her, Rey’s eyes shutting tight as she reveled in that familiar stretch that she craved. Every inch brought him closer, _deeper,_ and when his hips were flush with hers, she felt like he was the only thing holding her together.

He began a steady pace— slow, steady, _agonizing—_ nothing like their normal couplings.

He was quiet— uncharacteristically so— the only sounds in his room a chorus of deep breaths, soft sighs, and tiny whimpers that tore from her throat when he hit a particularly deep spot inside her. She clung to him, her fingers gripping at his ribs as he rolled his hips into her warmth over and over again.

Her orgasm built like a slow burn, every stroke from Ben feeding the fire deep inside. She felt it start with a curl of her toes, spreading through her limbs and leaving her flushed as she held him tighter against her. His forehead rested against hers, his eyes closed as his cock slid against her inner walls.

“Do you—” he huffed out. “Do you want to know what the _best_ thing about your body is?”

Her breath caught in her chest, so close to the edge that her body began to tremble with the urgency of it all. She nodded as best she could, her mind a haze of sensation as her focus lingered only on his rigid length as it filled her repeatedly.

He pressed a kiss to her check, moving to let his lips linger at her ear. “The best thing about your body is the way it comes _apart.”_

With his words he angled his hips to land deeper inside, and she felt herself beginning to shake in earnest as her climax tore through her. Her thighs gripped his hips, her fingers clawing at his skin as her orgasm crested over her like a wave.

His moan filled her ears, his hips stuttering as he struggled to hold on. When he came, it was loud and drawn out, his cock twitching as it spurt thick jets of warmth deep inside. His full weight settled over her, and even though he was heavy she found the solid mass of him a welcome comfort over her own skin.

She let her hands trail over his back, smoothing over his shoulder blades as he shuddered against her. She turned to cover his cheek in a lingering kiss, letting her eyes close to savor the moment for a bit longer. Neither of them spoke— because neither of them needed to.

It was only later, tucked away under his arm as she lay stretched out beside him  that she finally broke the comfortable silence they’d fallen into.

“So, you never thought about going back?”

“Hm?”

She continued to trace the small patch of blank skin over his chest with her finger, looking up at him. “The military. You could have went back. Now that your uncle is better.”

He pressed his lips together, as if considering her question. “I thought about it.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“I guess… that was the plan. Initially.”

“Initially?” she wondered. “What about now?”

“I don’t think so.”

She pushed up on her hands, looking down at him curiously. “Ben, you can't—”

He held up a hand to stop her, wrapping it around her nape to pull her back to his chest and pressing a kiss into her hair. “It’s not… just you.”

She couldn’t help the tiny tremor of fear that passed through her, the idea of someone changing their entire life just for her seeming ludicrous. “Then what?”

“Honestly, it’s just… this life has been all I’ve ever known. It’s all I ever wanted because it’s all I could ever have. So I put my heart into it because it felt like my purpose.”

“And now?”

He gave her a long look when she peered up at him. “I guess I’m just realizing that maybe I could have more.”

She frowned. “That still sounds like I’m to blame.”

He chuckled softly, pulling her close. “Maybe… but honestly? I’m glad.”

“You are?”

“I am,” he nodded. “I think…” His eyes bore into hers, studying the lines of her face as he considered his next words. “I think there’s a better purpose for my life.”

Rey swallowed, biting her lip and fighting the swooping sensation that tore through her stomach. “Yeah?”

He nodded, brushing the hair from her face and smiling softly. “Yeah.”

She let her head fall to his chest, grinning and letting herself be lulled by the steady rise and fall of his chest. In that moment, she felt her terror ebb into something different. Something that didn’t fill her with an overwhelming dread. Something _warm_ and new.

_Exhale._

_Inhale._


	11. I Can’t Do This Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *deep breath*

* * *

He was going to get them caught, and frankly? He didn’t really care much. He just… couldn’t stop looking at her. She didn’t look any different than she had yesterday, or the day before, or even from that _first_ day (although considerably less rain-soaked)— but yet… somehow, she looked _completely_ different.

There was no furrow in her brow. No miniscule line of worry creased between her eyes and her eyes themselves looked— brighter somehow. She looked… _happy._ Not the fleeting happy when he made her laugh or the pasted-on smile reserved for when she knew people expected it of her, no, she looked… _actually_ happy. Like contentment.

Had he done that?

He wanted to believe he had something to do with it. Last night had been… something on a whole other level. For the entirety of his life he’d never expected to feel the _magnitude_ of things he had felt with her, _especially_ after only a handful of days. He couldn’t have known, that first night, that a day would soon come when looking at her made his chest hurt. He wanted to burn her into his vision, to memorize every shape and line of her until there was no doubt he could ever forget.

The pair of them stood across from each other on either side of the wide arch, having just done a run through of the ceremony for the second time. The rehearsal had been a bit of a nightmare really, first with the officiant being late, then with Ben having to shy away from Paige discreetly after she’d made it evident she wanted to get a little too close, and now with Rose unsure of how the spacing looked between everyone.

“Okay, let’s just do it this way,” Rose finally huffed.

She moved away from beneath the archway, looking to Ben and gesturing that he join her. He stepped from his place beside Hux, moving to stand in his place where Rose had pointed out as Hux backed away. She moved aside then, turning to Rey and waving her over and Rey’s eyes widen just slightly as she stands in front of Ben.

Rose moved out to stand in front of it all, cocking her head to study their placement. “Can we do a quick run-through so I can see what it will look like?”

“What?” Rey squeaked.

“Just the vows part. We don’t have to walk in again I don’t think.”

Rey looked a little flushed when she turned back to Ben, but she nodded slowly as the officiant began to skim over his ceremony notes again. Ben could hardly hear him, looking down at Rey and he wondered idly if anyone else could feel what he felt standing there in front of her.

He had a fleeting image cloud his vision— of Rey in white as he stood with her for _real._ She would be smiling then he hoped. No more worry painting her features and when he kissed her— _everyone_ would know exactly who she belonged to.

He’d never wanted _anything_ like that before… but he was finding Rey made him want all sorts of things he’d never dreamed of.

He faintly registered the officiant speaking to Rey, asking her to repeat after him and suddenly she was echoing words of love and promise and Ben felt like he couldn’t breathe in that moment. He did the same, Rey’s expression of similar surprise and he wondered if the air was suddenly as thick for her as it was for him.

“And then the groom would kiss the bride of course,” the officiant was saying.

Ben’s eyes instinctively flicked to her mouth, and he wondered for a moment what would happen if he kissed her then. What would happen if he leaned in and pulled her against him. Would she melt into him— or would she push him away in embarrassment?

He didn’t kiss her.

Even if he wanted to.

The moment passed as quickly as it came, and then Rose was giving more instructions and Hux was chatting with Mitaka and Rey was moving— moving away from him to speak with Phasma. Ben stood still for more seconds than was needed, still thinking he should have just kissed her.

Hux broke through the chatter to grab for his frazzled fiancé’s hand. “Babe, stop worrying. Everything is going to go great.”

Rose bit her lip. “Can we run through it one more time?”

Poe let out an audible groan, and Finn elbowed him sharply. Hux only smiled down at Rose, leaning to press a kiss to her forehead. “As many times as you want.”

Hux gave Poe a look of warning as he turned to resume his place, and Poe dutifully kept his mouth shut. Ben could hear Hux lean backwards as the girls hurried back down the aisle to start again, whispering words of encouragement.

“Just remember,” Hux reminded. “There’s an open bar waiting at the rehearsal dinner.”

“That’s what I’m fucking talking about,” Poe grinned. “Unless Rose keeps us here all night.”

“It’s her day, man,” Hux chuckled softly. “We’ll stand here all fucking night if she wants us too.”

“Whipped,” Poe laughed.

Hux just smiled. “Fucking right I am.”

Ben listened quietly to the exchange, watching as the girls began to file down the aisle again, not even hiding the fact that his gaze was fixed on Rey. He thought in that moment… he understood exactly how Hux felt.

* * *

People were milling about under the canopy set up outside the resort, soft music playing from the local band set up on a raised stage and drinks abound as everyone enjoyed themselves. There were so many people at the rehearsal dinner that Ben found it hard to keep track of them all. Even Luke had scurried out of his hermit hole to make an appearance— a fact that surprised Ben to no end.

Ben sat at one of the cloth covered tables, Luke slung in a chair just beside as he sipped at his drink, bobbing his head to the music.

“Quite a shindig they got here,” Luke murmured appreciatively.

Ben shrugged, eyeing Rey from across the room as she chatted with Poe and Finn. “It’s nice.”

Luke took another sip, turning his head to glance at the side of Ben’s face. He chuckled softly, and Ben turned to meet his gaze. “What?”

Luke shook his head, looking passive. “Nothing. Just wondering if you’re going to go talk to that girl or continue to sit here hoping that you staring at her will somehow get her over here.”

“The latter, I think.”

“Never seen you too chickenshit to talk to a girl.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Hardly. She doesn’t— she doesn’t want me to come talk to her. Not in public anyway.”

Like raised an eyebrow. “What kind of kinky shit is that about?”

“It’s not—” Ben huffed. “Look. It’s complicated.”

“You like her?”

Ben pursed his lips, sparing another glance at Rey just in time for her eyes to catch his from across the floor. She faltered in her conversation, her mouth parted slightly for just a moment as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Then she collected herself, continuing to chat as if nothing had happened.

Ben blew out a breath. “Yeah. That’s one word for it.”

“Don’t sound very complicated to me.”

“What do you know,” Ben grumbled.

Luke took another drink, shrugging. “Been around a long time. You learn something by default when you’re as old as I am. Just go talk to her you big pussy. It’s a party. She won’t be put out with you being friendly.”

He had a point. It’s not as if it were _completely_ out of line for them to be casually chatting at a party. Surely she wouldn’t be upset if he happened to meet her at the food table… right?

Fuck it.

He stood from the chair, ignoring the smirk from his uncle and moving across the floor in her direction. She was alone now, Poe and Finn having moved to the dance floor, leaving her picking at a plate of grapes. He tried to ignore the way her lips wrapped around the soft fruit, willing himself to think only pure thoughts as he approached.

A moot endeavor really, considering the way her soft, yellow dress hugged at her curves, the ruffled, strapless top flowing softly around her breasts as her soft waves lay against it. She looked up at him, her lips still suckling at the half-bitten fruit and for a moment he completely lost his train of thought.

Collecting himself, he made an attempt at speech. “Hi.”

The corners of her mouth turned up slightly as she thankfully finished the distracting morsel. “Hi.”

“Having fun?”

She shrugged. “I guess.”

Why was this so awkward? He’d never had a problem talking to her before. Things felt… different after last night. Like they were at a crossroads. Like their next step rested completely on her and Ben felt lost, waiting to see what she would choose.

“You look… stunning,” he offered quietly.

She ducked her head sheepishly, looking at her feet. “Thank you.”

He wanted to tell her more. He wanted to tell her she looked like the fucking sun first thing in the morning— lighting up his entire day. Instead he just gazed down at her, struggling with the gravity of what stretched between them.

He let his eyes fall to the table beside them, noticing the arrangements of flowers spread out amongst the servings trays and attempted conversation.

“I see the flower fiasco is good and fixed.”

Rey nodded. “Thankfully. Rose was so stressed about it.”

“You know… I like sunflowers too. I don’t think it would have been the end of the world.”

The ghost of a smile played at Rey’s lips as she shrugged. “Not my wedding I guess.”

“Maybe you could have them at yours someday.”

Her eyes met his, chewing on her lower lip. “Maybe I can.”

He swallowed, the air suddenly heavy again and he picked up one of the flowers from a nearby vase in an attempt to change the subject. “Plumeria aren’t so bad either.” He studied the white flower with hints of yellow near its center. “Did you know they actually have meaning here?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t.”

“Well,” he continued, clearing his throat. “They say if a woman wears one in her right ear it means they’re unattached and single.”

“Oh?

“Yes, but…” He took a step towards her, pushing her hair back from her left ear. “If they wear it in their left…” He slowly placed the flower there, his voice lowering as he continued. “It means they’re spoken for. That they belong to someone.”

He took a step back to admire his handiwork, smiling softly as she matched his grin with a slight blush spreading across her cheeks.

“Well,” she started quietly. “How does it look?”

“It looks… perfect.”

She did. Look perfect, that is. So much that it made him dizzy with a need to just stop this ridiculous charade and pull her against him. Right there in front of everyone. He took a tentative step towards her, his hand reaching for hers. “Rey, I—”

“Hey, Ben!” The sound of Hux’s voice pulled him from his trance, turning to look at his friend waving him over from across the room. “Come say hi to my parents.”

 _Fuck._ He glanced back at Rey, who only nodded up at him, and he saw the moment slipping through his fingers. He sighed resignedly. “I’ll find you later?”

Another nod. “Sure.”

He turned away, moving towards where Hux stood waiting with his parents, every step taking him further away from where he really wanted to be. He would talk to her tonight. That’s all there was to it. He didn’t want to play this game anymore. He wanted _everyone_ to know how he felt. To know who she belonged to.

He could only hope she felt the same way.

* * *

Ben liked people. He really did. He enjoyed chatting and catching up and spending time with them. But right now? Right now he wanted nothing more than to sneak away from the small crowd of Hux’s family. The only person he wanted to talk to had been lost to the thick press of people beneath the canopy, and he’d barely seen her since he left her at the food table almost an hour ago.

Brendol was droning on about some stock market fiasco that Ben was sure would be very interesting under different circumstances. Ben was discreetly scanning the crowd, looking for a glimpse of her yellow dress with the intent to slip away at his earliest possible convenience. He thought maybe he caught sight of her heading towards the restrooms, and he quickly offered his excuses to break away.

He was reaching the edge of the crowd, the small structure that housed the restrooms just in sight when a hand caught his arm. He turned just at the edge of the wooden floor, finding Paige clutching his arm and grinning up at him.

“Hey, you,” she hummed, her voice obviously laced with a bit of the punch from the bar.

“Oh, hey Paige, I’m actually looking for someone so…”

Paige pouted. “I’ve been trying to find you all night.”

“Really? I’m sorry, I’ve been a little preoccupied.”

Again he tried to shrug from her grasp gently, not wanting to seem rude but anxious to chase after Rey. Paige only stepped closer, her fingers falling to the button of his dress shirt and toying with the clasp there as she simpered up at him.

“I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“Oh?” he wondered, still trying to ease out of her embrace.

She nodded, trailing a finger over his chest, and he had to suppress the urge to tear her hand away. _Be nice,_ he reminded himself. It wasn’t Paige’s fault he was gone for another girl. _Let her down easy._

She reached inside her tiny bag that was slung over her shoulder then, pulling something from inside it. He was taken by surprised when she pushed up on her toes suddenly, her mouth much too close to his ear for comfort as he felt her slipping what he was almost certain was her roomkey in the breast pocket of his shirt.

“209,” she murmured coyly. “Feel free to come by later.”

Ben was too stunned to say anything, taken completely off guard by her forward invitation. She was moving away before he could say anything, disappearing back into the crowd and he watched her go with what had to be an incredulous look, his mouth slightly agape. He finally collected himself after several seconds, shaking his head and moving to continue his search for Rey.

Only… he didn’t have to look for her, because she was standing not thirty feet away. Her eyes were trained on him, and there was no doubt in his mind that she had seen everything that had just happened. He scrambled to think of what it must have looked like, Paige slipping her key into his pocket and him doing nothing to stop it from happening. He strode over to her, closing the gap between them and terrified of how angry she must be.

When he neared however, he was surprised to find her expression not of anger, not even of irritation, just— nothing. Her features were passively painted into a look of calm, regarding him curiously as he approached.

“Rey, listen, I know what that must have looked like but you have to believe me—”

“It’s fine.”

He reared back, confused. “It is?”

She shrugged. “It’s none of my business who you make plans with.”

 _The fuck?_ Was she— was she serious? “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means… we made no promises. It’s completely fine if you want to use that key she gave you.”

He noticed the tremble of her lower lip, and he knew she was being obstinate in some sort of fight or flight reaction to protect her own emotions. Only… it made Ben, well, _angry._

“How can you say that?”

“I don’t… I don’t own you, Ben.”

He felt heat pooling in his chest, aggravation and frustration melding together to leave him a flustered mess. “So you— you’d just be— you’d be _okay_ if I wanted to go to Paige’s room tonight?”

To her credit, she sucked in a breath as if the thought pained her, but it wasn’t her actions that mattered in that moment, it was the words she chose that hurt him. “If that’s what you want.”

“If that’s what I… _fuck_ , Rey. How can you— how can you even _think_ — after _everything—”_

He couldn’t seem to gather his thoughts, hurt and anger warring inside him that she could be so flippant. He could understand protecting herself from hurt, but to think she wouldn’t even _fight—_ it stung more than he cared to admit. This blatant nonchalance over the whole thing was far worse than any level of anger she could have expressed.

“Maybe I should then,” he muttered bitterly, hating himself the second the words fell from his mouth.

Her face crumpled just slightly, and her eyes fell to the floor. He noticed she was still wearing the damned flower he’d put in her hair, and he wished he could rewind the last hour and just kiss her at that fucking table. Everything would have been different. Or would it? Was this moment inevitable? Would her fear always be this tangible thing hanging between them?

Her reply was no more than a broken whisper, and he felt every syllable like a knife against his skin. “If that’s what you want.”

He blew out a breath, scrubbing a hand over his face and looking away from her, his thoughts a jumbled mess. When he looked back at her, she was still staring at the floor.

“I think you know what I want, Rey. I think the problem is that you don’t know what _you_ want. I just… I can’t do this alone.”

She was silent, her eyes still trained on the ground, and he recognized there was nothing left to say. He turned to leave her there, feeling every step that took him away from her as if he were stepping on his own damned heart. He wanted to turn around, to grab her by the shoulders and shake some fucking sense into her, but he knew that would get him nowhere.

He wanted her, wanted _everything_ with her— but his words had not been a lie. He couldn’t do this alone… and in that moment… that’s exactly how he felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t yell at me, this was bound to happen. I’ll resolve it fairly quickly.
> 
> Beautiful calligraphy art by [@UhNoThanksAnya](https://twitter.com/UhNoThanksAnya)! She also taught me the neat tidbit about the Plumeria flower that I knew I wanted to work in somehow. ❤️  
> Please give her a follow for more of her work— she is incredibly talented!


	12. Surviving But Not Living

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope this makes up for the last chapter.❤️

* * *

 

Disappointment is a curious thing.

One can be disappointed over a lot of things in life. Perhaps you slept late, perhaps your coffee is not as hot as you like it, perhaps your plans to go out fell through. The level of disappointment that you don’t hear of often though, is the soul-crushing disappointment that can only be found with _yourself._

That is what Rey felt.

She knew. Deep down she _knew_ that Ben did nothing wrong. She saw the shock on his expression when Paige slipped her key into his pocket. She couldn’t explain what went through her head when she came upon them, but in that moment she saw Ben— _really_ saw him.

She saw how patient he was. How charming. How _desirable_. Who could blame Paige for being so persistent? Next to Rey, who is nothing, who has never _been_ anything in her entire life— what could she offer him really?

He liked her now, because of some strange attraction that had sparked between them, but what would happen when he found out who she really was? When he found out that she was nothing more than a scared, broken girl who’d carried around her abandonment issues her entire life, using them like a shield to push people away?

Would he still want her, knowing she had nothing to offer him?

So she did what she always does. She pushed him.

Which led her to there and then, sitting in the center of her bed _alone._ Well, not entirely alone unfortunately. She wasn’t even afforded the liberty to wallow in her own self pity seeing that Rose was to bunk with her tonight. Rose had told Hux the night before their wedding should be spent apart, so as to make the _actual_ night more special.

Rose was finishing her shower in the bathroom, and Rey could just hear the water shutting off, willing her features into a less bleak expression with the intent to fake her way through the rest of the evening. Even if her heart was heavy. Even if she couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of Ben _actually_ going to Paige’s room.

The thought of them… it made her insides hurt. The worst part? She had no one to blame but herself.

When the door to the bathroom opened, Rey gave Rose what she hoped was a convincing smile. “So, want to watch a movie? There’s a few things on pay-per-view that look pretty good.”

Rose’s brow wrinkled as she studied her. “Rey.”

“I was reading about this one, it might be a little sappy for my tastes but I thought it was right up _your_ alley—”

“Rey.”

“Or if that’s not what you’re in the mood for we could always—”

“ _Rey.”_

Rey gripped the remote, her eyes flicking to Rose’s, and she knew Rose could see right through her. She swallowed, pursing her lips together and willing herself not to cry. Rose came to sit beside her, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and pulling her close. Rose’s hair was wet and stringy, clinging to Rey’s neck and chilling her skin and yet Rey felt warmer than she had in hours.

“You can tell me.”

Rey shook her head slightly. “It’s nothing.”

“ _Rey_. I’ve known you since the sixth grade. Don’t you think I know when you’re a mess? You’ve been on the verge of cracking since earlier and you’re obviously not going to tell me on your own so I’ll force it out of you if I have to.”

Rey swallowed nervously, pulling away and wiping a traitorous tear that threatened to spill over her cheek. “I just… I think I fucked up big time.”

Rose nods encouragingly. “Tell me.”

“I just… I’ve been… well, you see I—”

“You’ve been fucking Ben Solo. Yes. Go on.”

Rey blushed. “How did you…?”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Rey. I’ve already said I thought _something_ was going on. I saw you tonight, you know. At the table. With the damned flower that looked like something out of a Lifetime movie. If I didn’t think it before, seeing him look at you like that… well, it’s pretty fucking obvious.”

Rey blew out a breath. “How does he look at me?”

“I think you _know_ how he looks at you.”

Rey hung her head. “I do. Which is why I feel like shit right now.”

“What happened?”

Rey bit her lip, unsure of how to proceed without admitting the less than cordial feelings she’d been experiencing regarding Paige.

“I might have been… a little jealous.”

“Of Paige?” Rey’s brows shot up, and Rose simply waved her off. “Come on, I know my sister. She can be pretty tenacious.”

Rey nodded. “It isn’t even her _fault—_ it’s not like she knew. How could she? Not when I insisted we keep everything quiet.”

“But it hurt you. To see her flirt with him.”

“Yes,” she all but whispered. “I hated it.”

“Do you know why that is?”

“Because… because I care about him.”

“Have you told him?”

Rey shook her head. “Not in so many words.”

“You should.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Rey,” Rose sighed. “You can’t just go through life assuming something will go wrong.”

“I don’t—”

“Yes,” Rose cut her off. “You do.”

Rey’s eyes fell to the bedspread, unable to look at Rose and knowing deep down that she’s right.

“I love you, Rey. I do, but… you’re _always_ waiting for that other shoe to drop. You don’t even allow yourself to really enjoy things because you assume they’ll be taken away from you.”

“Can you blame me?” Her voice was soft and pained, barely audible in the quiet space of her room.

“No,” Rose replied softly. “I can’t. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be left behind by the only two people who should be guaranteed to love you. I really can’t. But that is on _them._ Not you. You are _worth_ love, Rey.”

“I don’t know.”

Rose’s hand fell to Rey’s knee. “ _I_ love you. _Armie_ loves you. _Poe and Finn_ love you. Do you know why?” Rey shook her head, tears threatening to make an appearance yet again as Rose continued. “Because you are kind, and funny, and determined, and you don’t take any shit. You’re independent and headstrong and go out of your way to make others happy— even if it means bottling up your own feelings to make sure their wedding doesn’t have any unnecessary tension.”

Rey sucked in a breath. “How did you—”

“Because it _sounds_ like something you would do. Which is another reason why I love you.”

“Look where it got me though. I’m pretty sure he hates me now.”

“I sincerely doubt that.”

“Paige slipped him her room key. I watched it happen and when he tried to explain, tried to _apologize—_ as if he even did anything wrong— I just… I acted _indifferent._ Who does that?”

“Someone who thinks she doesn’t deserve anything more than what she’s used to.”

She couldn’t stop the tears from falling then. How did Rose see everything that plagued Rey when even sometimes Rey couldn’t? Rose pulled her in again, and Rey willingly wrapped herself around the tiny body of her friend, the soothing motion of Rose’s hands smoothing over her back a welcome comfort.

“You can’t end something before it even starts out of fear. That’s _surviving,_ Rey _…_ but it isn’t _living_.”

Rey considered this. It was one thing to _hear_ the answer to your problems. It was another to _believe_ in it. She had known Ben for one week. Seven days in the span of a lifetime. There were still _so many days_ that spanned ahead and it was the _not knowing_ that filled her with a terror she couldn’t shake.

Would he feel this way tomorrow? A month from now? Ten years? Or would he leave her too?

Still, when she thought of him, of his stupid smile that made her heart flutter and her hands shake, of his low voice as he murmured things that made her blush, or even the way his eyes seemed to soften as he looked at her— as if he he didn’t see her surroundings, just her. When she thought of those things… her joy far outweighed her fear.

Was that the root of it all?

Was the answer not throwing away the things that made you afraid— but _clinging_ to them, holding them close so as not to lose them? Was it really that simple?

Suddenly her heart raced, and she knew that she was a fool. She wanted to tell him she was sorry. Tell him that she didn’t want to see him with _anyone_ who wasn’t her. She pushed away from Rose in a panic, her eyes wide as she scrambled for words.

“Rose, I—”

Rose jerked her head towards the door. “Go.”

“But… you’ll be—”

“I’m a big girl,” Rose waved her off. “I’ll be fine. I’ve already got my happily ever after. Go get yours.”

Rey nodded happily, her eyes still wet even as her smile was wide and open. She gave Rose one last squeeze, tearing from the bed and not even bothering with shoes as she made for the door. She let it shut behind her as she briskly walked down the hall, moving towards the elevators in a rush as her heart pounded in her chest.

For a moment she briefly considered what would happen if he wasn’t in his room— if perhaps he _had_ went after Paige… but, no. She refused to entertain the idea. She pressed the call button for the elevator rapidly, shaking away those doubtful thoughts. He would be there. She believed that he felt the same way. That this would not be the end

She was wrong however— because Ben was _not_ in his room. She knew this because the elevator doors had slid open. She knew because when opened they revealed a very disheveled looking Ben Solo, leaning against the back of the tiny compartment and looking just as wrecked as she felt. His hair was tousled as if he’d been incessantly running his fingers through it, wearing nothing but a simple black t-shirt and grey sweats and she noticed he hadn’t bothered with shoes either.

His expression was one of instant relief when he noticed her standing there, his mouth parting slightly and his eyes softening in that way that she loved and she could only stare back at him. He knew where she was headed- he _had_ to know— because she knew exactly where _he_ was headed.

They stood still for several moments, only roused from their stupor when the _ding_ of the elevator sounded, the doors beginning to slide closed and she shot out her hands to stop them. When they reopened, she took a tentative step forward, and then another, crossing into the cramped space to stand right in front of him.

She smiled then, unable to contain the joy she felt knowing he’d been just as desperate to see her as she him, and she rose on her tiptoes to let her hands cover his jaw, pulling him to her mouth. He melted into her, his large hands settling at her waist, bunching her shirt around the hem of her sleep shorts and pulling her flush against him. He kissed her as if he’d been afraid he never would again, melding their lips together until they almost felt as one person.

“ _Rey,”_ he murmured, breaking away from her mouth. “I’m _sorry. So_ sorry. I shouldn’t have said— shouldn’t have implied that I would—”

She shook her head, gripping him tight. “ _No._ No, Ben. _I’m_ sorry. I hurt you. Needlessly. I care, Ben. I care _so damned much—_ there’s _no one_ I want to see you with but me.”

He sucked in a breath, his mouth turning up slightly in a barely-there smile that made her breath catch. “So… you kind of like me, huh?”

She could only beam back at him, hearing her words echoed back to her and marveling out how they didn’t even terrify her. 

“Yes, Ben,” she answered quietly. “I like you.”

He pulled her in again, molding her to his body as his large hand smoothed down her spine, curving over the rounded curve of her backside to press her further into him. His lips on hers were bruising, smothering, _desperate—_ licking into her mouth and tasting her as if he didn’t need oxygen to survive, just _her._

She could feel him pressed against her center, long and thick and _so hard_ through the thin material of his sweats. He ground into her, a soft whimper sounding in the back of her throat.

“I think it’s safe to say I feel the same,” he gasped against her mouth.

She nipped at his bottom lip, sucking it briefly before releasing him. “I’d say so.”

His lips fell to her throat, mouthing the slender column, his teeth grazing her skin as he rolled his hips against hers. He sucked at her pulse point, drawing a moan from her as he rasped against her skin. “I thought— I thought I might have lost you.” His lips moved to her shoulder, his hand lifting to pull at her shirt and bare more skin to his mouth. “I thought maybe I’d never get to touch you again. To _taste_ you. It drove me crazy, Rey.”

“ _Ah_ ,” she moaned, her fingers finding purchase in his shirt and gripping it tight. “ _Touch me._ Touch me _everywhere.”_

She felt the elevator begin to move, seemingly called to another floor, and she broke away from him, breathing too hard for comfort. His eyes were dark as they bore into hers, his chest rising and falling at a pace that matched her own. She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed and his eyes flicked to the panel on the wall just inside the doors. He moved her, pressing her against the metal surface opposite them and reached out to slam the stop button, bringing the elevator to a lurching halt.

When it stilled, his hands slid under her shirt, palming the curve of her waist and rising upwards, taking her shirt with it. He didn’t slow until the soft curve beneath her breasts were in view, and he leaned to trace his tongue against the swell. She shivered as he painted the underside with his tongue, pushing her shirt higher to wrap his lips around her nipple.

Her fingers found his hair, tangling in the thick mass as he sucked at the taut bud. He pulled at it gently with his teeth, and she whimpered above him.

“Just the thought of never having my mouth on you again…” he murmured against her, flicking the swollen peak lightly with the tip of his tongue. He growled then, a low rumble deep in his chest as his hand encompassed the entirety of her breast and his mouth moved to settle over it again. “This is _mine. You_ are mine, Rey. Don’t you see that?”

He began to suck in earnest, practically pulling the entire mound of her breast into his mouth, his cheeks hollowing as she tugged at his hair. When he released her with a wet _pop_ , she was gasping for breath, barely having time to steady herself before he rose higher to slip his tongue into her mouth. It moved over hers frantically, filling her mouth as his fingers hooked into the band of her shorts and underwear.

“And this _mouth,”_ he rasped, pulling away only enough so that his looks hovered over hers. “When it laughs, when it teases, when it _screams my name—_ that’s mine too.”

“ _Ben,”_ she whined, her skin flushed and her underwear practically soaked through.

“And that’s not all,” he grit out.

He slid down the length of her slowly, falling to his knees, taking her shorts and underwear with him to let them drift to the floor. His hand slid over her ankle, skirting up the length of her calf as his lips found the place just above her knee, pressing a kiss there. His palm wrapped underneath her thigh, lifting it and pulling it over his shoulder to bare her drenched center to him, hovering just over her heated core.

She could feel the warmth of his breath against her, squirming in his hold and needing him to touch her— just _one touch_ to show her some semblance of mercy from the fevered state she’d been reduced to. The image of Ben Solo on his knees, peering up at her from between her legs, his pupils blown and his breath ragged— it was something she could never forget. There was no comparison.

“ _Especially_ this,” he leaned in close, running his nose up the length of her slit to nuzzle at the soft curls above. “This cunt is _mine.”_ She felt just the tip of his tongue tracing the seam of her, a light, easy caress that did nothing for the building pressure that begged to be released. “It’s _all_ mine.”

Then he was on her, parting her slick folds and dragging upwards to land at her clit. He swirled his tongue around the swollen bud, moving to repeat the entire process, his hand tight on her thigh as he held her open for him. He lowered to tease her entrance, fucking her with his tongue and peering up at her with those dark eyes that drove her wild.

When she let her own eyes flutter closed, intent on enjoying the sensation of his mouth on her, she felt the sharp press of his nails against her thigh, wordlessly telling her to watch. She did so, her eyes trained on the sight of him devouring her wholly.

When his lips wrapped around her throbbing clit, he wasted no time in pulling at it roughly, his cheeks hollowing as he sucked the swollen bud with abandon. She felt her orgasm building, every nerve ending firing in a direct path to her sensitive core and her muscles tightened in every part of her body. Her fingers gripped his hair so tight she feared she was hurting him, but he only moaned against her, sending her closer to the edge.

She came against his tongue messily, fluids coating his lips and chin, and he only stroked her harder, lapping up every drop of her climax as if it were a gift. She was barely afforded any time to come down from it, Ben breaking away abruptly and standing to spin her against the cool surface of the sleek, metal wall.

He pushed at his sweats, bunching everything that covered his hard cock down his thighs, and she felt the stiff length of him resting against the cleft of her ass. He thrust against her, mouthing at her throat roughly. He dipped his hips then to let his cock slide between her thighs, the thick head of him pushing through her folds to graze her still sensitive clit and she cried out softly at the sensation.

“I want it all, Rey,” he grated hoarsely. He grabbed for her hips to angle her, the head of him pressing against her entrance and pushing inside slowly. “I want _everything_.”

He filled her, stretching her inner walls as he pushed inside, never stopping until his hips were flush with her ass and his cock was rooted deep inside. He withdrew, Rey feeling every ridge and curve of him as he slid against her slick channel, resting with just the head inside.

He didn’t ease back inside— instead slamming into her with a sharp snap of his hips that jolted her entire body. “I want to mark you.” Another tight withdraw before the punishing thrust inside. “I want _everyone_ to know you’re mine”

His head fell to her shoulder, his hair tickling her as he grunted into her skin. He let out a long moan, thrusting into her mercilessly as her breath mottled the smooth surface of the elevator wall. His skin slapped against hers obscenely, bottoming out inside her again and again.

“Because you _are,_ Rey,” he urged thickly. “ _You are mine.”_

She moaned loudly as he pounded into her warmth, his fingers on her waist so tight she knew they would leave a mark.

 _“Mine,”_ he repeated. “ _Say it_.”

 _“Ah,”_ she gasped at a particularly deep thrust. “ _Yes,_ Ben. I am.”

He grunted sharply, rolling into her more quickly as his thrusts became slightly erratic. He was close. She could feel it— and she was just behind him. She could hear his broken murmurings against her skin with every thrust, a chanted chorus of, “ _Mine, mine, mine.”_

She came around him in a quivering mess, her limbs boneless as they shook and he slammed inside only twice more before she felt the flood of warmth deep inside, filling her completely as he trembled against her.

They remained that way for several moments, both panting as they struggled to collect themselves. She felt his lips at the lobe of her ear as he eased out of her, groaning softly and she felt the slow trickle of his spend seeping down her thigh.

“I mean it, Rey,” he whispered. “I don’t want to hide anymore. I want everyone to know that you’re mine. That I’m _yours_.”

She nodded with great effort, releasing a shaky breath from her nostrils as she leaned back into him, his lips pressing gently against her throat.

“Okay,” she agreed quietly. “Whatever you want. I’m yours.”

She felt his smile against her skin, a slow curving of his mouth and she mirrored it with one of her own as he spun her. His lips descended over hers, leaving a lingering kiss that made her toes curl.

“Stay with me tonight,” he murmured.

“We have a wedding tomorrow,” she chuckled.

“I already can’t wait to tear that bridesmaid’s dress off of you.” She giggled, shaking her head at him, and he pressed another kiss to her mouth. “Stay,” he repeated between presses of his lips against hers. “With me.”

She returned his kiss, smiling against his mouth. Her answering agreement was easy, knowing  that without a doubt— there was no place she’d rather be.


	13. One Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I really thought I wasn’t going to come back to this until after Imprints was finished but then I sort of had a fit of inspiration last night and well... here we are. ❤️

Riding in the elevator was definitely a more tense experience now, the cramped space filled with memories that he wouldn’t be forgetting for as long as he lived. He’d been reluctant to separate that morning, her warm body much more inviting than the idea of a day filled with stress and bustling and, more than likely, a lot less time with Rey than he’d like.

He reminded himself that this was Hux and Rose’s day, and that after this he’d have all the time in the world with her. He’d make sure of it. There was nowhere in the world she could go that he wouldn’t follow.

She’d left his room half an hour ago, giggling as he’d tried to coax her back into bed for one more romp and giving him that look that said she knew he was terrible but she loved it anyway. He knew that evening he’d be making good on his promise to tear that bridesmaid dress off of her, and that thought alone kept him in a pleasant mood.

When the doors of the elevator opened, he strode out in search of breakfast from the hotel’s restaurant before he started readying for the day himself. He hadn’t meant to bump into her, but when he’d turned from the register after paying for his order she’d just been _right_ there.

“Oh,” he startled. “Hey, Paige.”

She frowned slightly. “Hey.”

Fuck. Awkward. He _had_ sort of completely dissed her last night. “Listen, about last night—”

She raised a hand. “No, no, I wanted to apologize. I came on a little… strong. I don’t normally drink that much.”

“Oh, it’s completely fine.”

She shook her head. “Obviously I made you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t—” He blew out a breath. “Listen, it’s not you.”

“It isn’t?”

He shook his head. “There’s… someone else.”

He watched her eyes go a little wider, her face tinting in a blush. “Oh my God, I had _no_ idea. If I’d known you’d had a girlfriend I would have _never—”_

 _“No,_ I know you wouldn’t. It’s not your fault. We haven’t been very… open about it. It’s very new.”

Paige grinned shyly. “Look at you, you really like this girl, don’t you?”

“I… definitely like her.”

Paige smiled a little wider. “I’m happy for you. I hope I didn’t cause any trouble?”

Ben shook his head. “Not anything I couldn’t handle.”

“That’s great, Ben. You hold onto that girl. It’s hard to find _anything_ these days that puts a smile on your face like the one you’re wearing.”

“She’s one of a kind,” he murmured.

She put her hand on his arm, patting him there. “Well, if she has a brother, you know where to send him.”

Ben laughed. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

“Thanks, Ben. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah. Sure thing.”

She left then, and Ben felt a little lighter having cleared the air. He couldn’t wait to tell Rey, knowing that she’d been beating herself up for feeling so jealous over her friend. It felt good, telling someone about Rey. Even if it had only been a little bit.

He grinned to himself as he rode back up to his room, already itching to tell someone else.

* * *

“You look nervous,” Ben laughed.

Hux blew out a long stream of air. “I _feel_ nervous.”

“This is the home stretch, man. It’s all uphill from here.”

“I just need it to be perfect. Her parents already want a reason to hate me.”

Ben snorted. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

Hux grimaced. “Her Dad still calls me Armitage.”

“That’s... your name?”

“I’ve asked him to call me Hux at least seventy-four times. Plus… the way he says it. He sort of spits it.”

“He seemed perfectly agreeable when I met him.”

“That’s what he _wants_ you to think.”

Poe chose that moment to pop his head into the waiting area where Hux was currently having an existential crisis, pointing at the clock hanging on the wall. “They’re ready for us.”

Hux somehow paled further— something Ben hadn’t thought possible due to his already impressive pallor. Ben placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey. It’s going to be fine. By the end of the hour you’re going to have a wife.”

“Yeah,” Hux smiled finally, nodding his head as if to reassure himself. “Yeah, I will.”

The look on Hux’s face was something Ben had never seen before, something like a peace that settled over his features. Something like _real_ happiness. He was slightly jealous of it, that his friend was already so settled. It only drove home the realization of how much _he_ wanted that.

He could take a guess as to who might be to blame for his newfound urges of domesticity.

“You ready?”

Hux nodded resolutely. “I’m ready.”

Ben jerked his head towards the door. “Then let's go.”

They met with the other groomsman out in the foyer, filing in through the door that led into the main hall. The seats were already filled with people, throngs of both families on either side filed in the neat rows of seating. Heads turned as they entered, and Ben tried to ignore their stares as he and the others lined up at the altar. He’d never been good with crowds really.

He trained his eyes to the altar instead, feeling nerves settle in his gut that didn’t even belong to him. This wasn’t his day, but so much had changed recently. So much impact on his life in such a short time. It was… terrifying, if he was being honest. Only, it was also _exhilarating._ There were _possibilities_ now _._ His future wasn’t a straight line. It could go anywhere he wanted it to.

He heard the soft notes of the piano begin to play, and he whipped his head to the double-doors that were being pushed open. The bridal party began to file down the aisle at a slow pace, each bridesmaid making a steady march down the runner as the lilting music played overhead.

He held his breath when she turned the corner, feeling almost as if the wind had been knocked out of him. The soft coral of her dress only accentuated the golden hue of her skin, and her normally soft waves had been curled into tighter ringlets that rested delicately against her collarbone.

She was _stunning._ Then again, she was always stunning. She never ceased to take his breath away. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, fixated on her face as she came up the aisle, and for one brief moment her eyes met his and the shy smile she offered was like a rush of air flooding back into his lungs.

It was too soon. _Far too soon_ to feel this way. Yet his chest was tight, and he found breathing had become difficult. It was almost suffocating, the weight of his feelings, but for all the tightness in his chest— Rey was fresh air.

He swallowed down the overwhelming wave of emotion that washed over him, quietly watching as she continued her path and came to rest on the steps across from him. It was a chore, tearing his eyes away from her, but the music changed then and Rose appeared and he had to admit she was breathtaking.

He felt genuine happiness flood him, for her and Hux, grateful to be a part of their day. Grateful for everything this day had brought him. He let his eyes flick to Rey, biting back a grin when he found her eyeing him as well.

 _One day,_ he thought. _One day._

* * *

The rest of the wedding— much to Hux’s relief— went off without a hitch. Hux only stammered through a minor portion of his vows, and even Rose’s father was smiling when they walked away from the altar, hand in hand and beaming from ear to ear.  

Ben moved to the center aisle, meeting Rey there and linking her arm with his. He crossed his arm to let his fingers brush against hers as they gripped him, and she bit back her smile as they moved towards the exit in time with the music.

He leaned in just a little closer, his voice low. “Still can’t wait to get that dress off you.”

“Shh,” she chided, smiling still.

He didn’t let go of her until they were well out of the main hall, reluctant to let her go, even inside the foyer. Her hand slid from his arm slowly, and he watched her join the rest of the bridal party.

He let her go, telling himself that this is the last day that he has to hide like this. That after this wedding he could tell whoever he wanted about how he felt and about what he wanted. Because he wanted _so much._ He knew that now.

He wanted so much with _Rey._

* * *

That night couldn’t have gone more perfectly.

Rey had never felt so much love in one place— the happiness that her friends experienced able to felt by everyone who attended.

She’d never seen Rose so happy.

She looked _beautiful—_ a picture in white with little flowers in her hair. She was perfect. The entire _night_ was perfect.

“You look like you need a dance.”

She tore her eyes away from the sight of Rose threatening Hux with a handful of cake, Ben grinning down at her with an outstretched hand. She shook her head, raising an eyebrow as she smiled back at him from her chair.

“Do I?”

“Yes. You were practically begging me for one from across the room.”

She barked out a laugh. “Oh, _was_ I?”

“Just shut up and dance with me.”

She placed her hand in his, Ben yanking her up and pulling her out onto the dance floor. He pulled her close, the song slow and sweet and he swayed her back and forth in time with the music.

“They look so good together,” he murmured as he glanced across the room to where Rose and Hux still sat.

Rey nodded against his chest. “They really do.”

“Although I have to say we look pretty good together too.”

She bit back a grin, looking up at him. “We do, huh?”

“Obviously the best looking couple here.”

“Oh, so we’re a couple now?”

He shrugged. “Practically picking out china patterns.”

“That was fast,” she chuckled.

“We have to get a move on before it gets stale.”

“ _Stale_?” she snorted.

He nodded down at her, looking serious. “Yep. Better enjoy it now. Before you know it, it’ll be nothing but daytime television and lukewarm lovemaking.”

“Wow. That sounds awful.”

“Really? I don’t think it sounds so bad. Our lovemaking has been a little too heated for my tastes.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“You like it.”

She let her arms loop around his neck, shrugging softly. “Maybe a little.”

He stared at her mouth, his expression warming considerably as his grip around her waist tightened. “I could kiss you, you know. Right here. No one would care.”

She smiled softly, shaking her head. “It’s just one more day. You can be good.”

“I think kissing you would be very good,” he murmured.

Her grin hitched just a little wider, and she leaned her head against his shoulder as the music played on. She knew there was a chance someone might look at them and _know_ everything she felt in that moment— but she found she didn’t mind too much. There was only that moment. Only the two of them.

She was beginning to think it was all she needed.

Rey broke apart when the music ended. Ben leaned in to promise all of the things he would do to her when they snuck away later, leaving her blushing as he left to speak to his uncle who he promised to introduce her to the next day when Luke was less tipsy. Apparently Luke got a little handsy when tipsy— something Ben had grumbled in her general direction earlier.

She found Poe at the bar instead, Finn batting his hands away as Poe tried to pull at his face to steal what would surely be an inappropriate kiss in front of all the other guests.

“Oh, come on,” Poe was slurring. “Just one, babe.”

“Save it for the suite,” Rey laughed, taking a barstool beside them.

Finn sighed. “You know he’s an animal when he’s drunk.”

“You married him.”

Finn pat his husband on the arm. “That I did.”

“I’m drunk, not deaf,” Poe grumbled.

“Shh,” Finn soothed, rubbing a hand across his back as Poe let his head rest against the bar. Finn turned to Rey then, flashing her a smile. “So, are you having fun?”

“I am. This was such a great day.”

“It was,” Finn agrees. “Rose looks gorgeous.”

Rey looked across the crowd at her friend, smiling softly. “She really does.”

“You look pretty good yourself there, babe.”

She grinned back at him. “Thanks.”

“Happy, too. What’s different?”

She felt a blush creeping up her neck. “Nothing. Just a good day, I guess.”

Finn narrowed his eyes. “Uh-huh.”

“Just a good day.”

“I’m going to let it slide because I’m dealing with my drunk-ass husband, but don’t think we aren’t coming back to this goofy grin of yours.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

She spotted Ben across the room, chatting with his uncle and Hux, and his eyes connected with hers as a smile played at his mouth. She bit back a grin of her own, watching him wink before returning to his conversation.

 _Yeah,_ she thought. _It’s been a really good day._

* * *

_Damn this dress._

It was a stunning dress, sure— but it was a nightmare to maneuver around in. The bathroom situation proved to be a struggle by herself. She stepped out of the ladies room tucked at the end of the hall, checking to be sure her skirt was in order and then moving to return to the main hall.

It was getting fairly late, and she had just about had enough of waiting around to sneak away with Ben. She found herself on more than one occasion during the evening just wanting to be _done_ with it— to walk right up and kiss him and not give a fuck who knew. She’d held out this far though, and this was Rose’s night. Tomorrow was a new day, and she would put aside her worries about what people might think.

Still, even now she felt that lingering dread inside— that familiar trepidation that clung to her insides, telling her that something would go wrong. There was still a small part of her that screamed it was too fast, too _much—_ and that no matter how her heart fluttered when she looked at him, or how her thoughts seemed to linger on him— that eventually he too would walk away from her one day.

People walking away from her was all she’d ever known.

She had told her herself on more than one occasion that evening to brush those feelings aside. She clung to Rose’s words— _live, don’t just survive—_ holding them close and allowing herself to believe in them. Even if only this once.

She stilled when she neared the end of the hall, hearing the one voice she seemed to always find herself listening for lately. She was about to round the corner to join him when she picked up on the conversation, halting in her tracks.

“What do you mean you aren’t re-enlisting?”

“I’m just not,” Ben was telling Hux.

“What the fuck? You’ve been talking about going back for months.”

“I know. I’ve changed my mind.”

“What do you mean you’ve _changed your_ _mind_? The paperwork was practically finalized.”

“Not anymore. I went and saw my CO yesterday morning. I’ve withdrawn my request.”

“Ben… you were so fucking down when you had to leave. I’ve never seen you so depressed.”

“I hear you, but that’s just not what I want anymore.”

Rey leaned against the wall, a strange sensation tearing through her.

“I have to ask, man,” Hux pressed. “Is this because of Rey?”

There was a moment of silence. “How did you know?”

“Come on. How long have I known you? It’s more obvious than you’d think if you know what you’re looking for.”

She heard Ben blow out a breath. “I’m not going to lie to you.”

“Ben…” Hux sighed. “Listen. I _love_ Rey. I’m even thrilled this is happening— but you can’t change your entire life for someone you met a week ago.”

“I can do whatever the fuck I want,” Ben huffed, his voice taking on an aggravated edge.

“Don’t get testy. I’m just saying… this is all I’ve heard you talk about for months. You’ve been practically counting down the days. Now you’re just giving it all up? I’m not saying you and Rey shouldn’t explore this… but you can’t just throw everything you’ve worked for your entire life on a whim.”

“Who says it’s a whim?”

Rey couldn’t see Ben’s face, but whatever expression he gave Hux made Hux sigh. “Ben… you can’t possibly—”

“How do you know what I can and can’t feel?”

“You’ve barely known each other other a _week.”_

 _“_ I don’t know what to tell you. I know what I feel, and I don’t imagine ever feeling this way for anyone else.”

Rey’s heart pounded heavily beneath her ribs. He couldn’t mean— surely he couldn’t be saying that he— it wasn’t _possible._

 _“_ I just think you’re making a rash decision. You always dive into things without thinking. I don’t want this to be one of those things. Neither you nor Rey deserve for you to rush into anything just to change your mind in a few months.”

“I’m not going to change my mind.”

“How do you _know?”_

Ben was quiet for a long time, and Rey’s chest felt too tight as she sat quietly waiting for his answer. How _did_ he know?

“I just know,” he said quietly.

Hux blew out a breath. “Okay, man. I’m just looking out for you. You know that, right?”

“I know. You don’t have to. I know what I’m doing.”

“I hope so. Where is Rey anyway?”

“I don’t know. I'm probably going to track her down and sneak away if that’s cool.”

Hux laughed. “Go on then, loverboy. Just be careful.”

Rey kept her place against the wall as she heard them move away. Some bubbling fear brewed inside her, flooding her insides and leaving her breathless and heavy. Her chest felt so tight it was almost painful. She felt… lost.

She hadn’t known— _couldn’t_ have known that Ben had _literally_ just thrown away all his plans for the future just for her. Her guilt was palpable. How could he do that? Hux was right— they’d only known each other for just over a week. Nine fucking days. How could Ben know that she was worth changing everything he’d ever known? How could _she_ know he wouldn’t change his mind? How could he possibly think that he…. that he felt…

She couldn’t even bring herself to think the word.

People who loved Rey left her. Panic was growing inside her, her mind buzzing with worried thoughts as uncertainty gripped her. She wasn’t worth throwing away a future for. He would only resent her, after it was all said and done. He would surely come to regret his choices. Just the thought of doing this— _really doing this_ with him— only for him to walk away weeks or months or even _years_ down the line—

Could she really take that chance?

She couldn’t breathe. Her heart thudded away in her chest, so loud she swore she could hear it. She attempted to swallow around the lump in her throat, so thick it made her task impossible.

With shaking fingers she found her phone in the tiny strapped purse bound to her wrist, unlocking it to find she’d already missed a text from Ben. Her heart picked up its pace.

**Ben: Where are you?**

She felt her eyes stinging— a mess of emotion, and she knew she couldn’t let him see her like this. She tapped out a reply, stowing her phone back in her wristlet and making a beeline for the elevators with every intention of escaping to her room. She knew what she had to do, but she didn’t know if she had the strength to do it.

Already she felt her heart breaking, but she knew she couldn’t let Ben change his entire life for her. Couldn’t let him throw away everything he’d worked for just to be with her. He deserved more than that.

He deserved more than _her._

She rode the elevator up to her room with a heavy heart, not even trying to stop the tears from falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See... now you see why I’ve been putting this off? I can tell you the last two chapters are epilogues so... don’t fret. This won’t go exactly the way you think. 🥰  
> P.S. I’ve already started the next chapter, and I promise not to make you wait very long. ❤️


	14. Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I know I didn’t answer any comments but tbh it’s been a rough day and y’all were sad and I was sad and I just wanted to push through and get this out. Forgive me. ❤️

“What the fuck do you mean she’s gone?”

Poe rubbed at his eyes, leaning against the doorframe of his hotel room. “She showed up about an hour ago and asked Finn to drive her to the airport.”

Ben stood frozen, feeling gutted. He’d known, of _course_ he’d known something was wrong when she’d texted him last night and claimed to have gotten sick. He just thought… he just thought she was having a moment. He thought he could show up to her room the next morning and remind her just why they were going to fucking _work._

But she hadn’t been there.

The panic he’d felt when he’d found her room empty, the maid service already cleaning it for the next guest, was indescribable. He’d thought they’d finally gotten somewhere. That he’d finally gotten _through_ to her.

Why would she run?

“Is something wrong?” Poe looked at him in confusion, and Ben didn’t blame him. He couldn’t possibly know what Ben was feeling. They’d kept everything so fucking _secret—_ his friends hadn’t even known to try and talk her out of it.

“Yeah,” Ben answered hoarsely. “Everything.”

Ben noticed the moment it seemed to click for Poe, his expression softening. “ _Fuck_ . Something _was_ going on. Wasn’t there.

“I really thought there was.”

“Fuck, man. We had no idea. You said— you told me she shut you down. So when she came by… I had no idea. She just said… said she got a call from work and had to be back a day earlier.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Poe gestured Ben inside, moving aside as Ben brushed past to slump into the chair just inside, dropping his face in his hands.

Ben felt Poe’s hand at his shoulder, patting him in comfort. “How serious was this?”

Ben laughed bitterly. “For me? Pretty damn serious.”

Poe frowned. “Did Rey feel the same?”

“I thought she did. Maybe I was wrong.”

“I doubt that,” Poe sighed. “Rey is complicated.”

“Everyone’s complicated, Poe. We could have figured it out together. She made a choice on her own. She didn’t even let me have a say in it. I think that’s pretty indicative of how she feels.”

“That’s your hurt talking. I know Rey. It sounds like you might too. Do you really think this was easy for her?”

Ben thought about the moments of uncertainty and her soft voice and all her fear and _no_ — he didn’t think this was easy for her. It didn’t make it hurt any less.

“It doesn’t matter if it was easy… she’s gone.”

“Did you try calling her?”

“Of course I did. She isn’t answering.”

Poe blew out a breath, shaking his head. “You know. It hasn’t been that long since they left.”

“And?”

“ _And_ you could probably catch them. If you wanted to.”

“I don’t think that’s what she wants.”

“You don’t? Listen, I’m just here to tell you— Rey has had a hard fucking life. Most of the people she’s ever cared about left her. Do you know how long it took even _us_ to get her to open up? She’s a fucking fortress, that one. She doesn’t let people in. Love scares the shit out of her.”

Ben wasn’t looking at Poe, but when Poe squeezed his shoulder, Ben’s eyes flicked upwards to meet Poe’s serious expression.

“That being said,” Poe continued. “If you scared her enough to run… how do you really think she feels?”

Ben hung his head, processing. Deep down he knew. Knew he hadn’t imagined it all. He knew her. Knew he wasn’t alone in this. He didn’t care about the amount of time he’d known her. It was arbitrary compared to the amount of time he _wanted_ with her.

He wanted forever.

He nodded to himself, looking up to meet Poe’s gaze. “Which airport?”

* * *

“Can’t you drive any faster?”

Poe shot him a disgruntled look. “ _You_ could have driven.”

“I _would_ have— if you hadn’t insisted on coming.”

“This is some Hallmark bullshit and I will not be missing it, thank you very much.”

“I can’t believe Finn forgot his phone in the room.” Ben pulled his own phone away from his ear for the dozenth time, wishing she would just _pick up—_ her silence only furthering his dread. “Just drive faster.”

Poe stepped on the gas, the car lurching forward just a little faster as they passed a sign that indicated just how close the airport was. Ben’s stomach was in knots, thinking about what he would say when they got there.

The words hadn’t come yet, but he knew he would convince her.

Because he didn’t know, if he was being honest, how he knew that this was real. That _they_ were real. He had know way of knowing how he was so sure, but he _felt_ it.

Felt it in every part of him.

She’d broken him open and made a home there. Crawled under his skin and settled. He didn’t care what he had to say. He wasn’t letting her go without a fucking fight.

The car had barely come to a stop outside the airport when Ben burst from the passenger’s side, Poe hollering something about parking as Ben tore off through the entrance. The lines were full halfway to the door at security, several bored-looking officers sending people through the metal detectors in an orderly fashion.

He jumped into the shortest line, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for his turn to approach the officer.

“Boarding pass?”

Ben shook his head. “I don’t have one. I just need to get to departures.”

“Sir, you can’t get past this point without a boarding pass.”

“Listen, I know this sounds like the highest level of romantic comedy bullshit, but there’s a girl in there and I have to talk to her.”

The officer frowned. “Come on, guy. Do you know how many times I’ve heard this one?”

“No, seriously. I _have_ to talk to her.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. You have to have a boarding pass to cross the point.”

Ben huffed in frustration, scrubbing his hands down his face. “Then I’ll get a fucking ticket.”

He stomped out of line, crossing the space to the ticket counter as fast as legs could carry him and taking the first open line he could see.

The attendant smiled up at him when he approached. “How can I help you?”

“I need a ticket.”

“Okay, sir. Where are you going?”

“I don’t care, I just need a ticket.”

“I’ll need a destination to search for available flights.”

Ben wanted to scream a little bit, he was wasting time here. “I need the first available flight out of this airport.”

She gave him a curious expression, raising an eyebrow as she slowly turned to her computer to tap at her keyboard. “Next departing flight is to San Diego.”

“Perfect. I need a ticket.”

She tapped a few more keys. “That will be $679 plus tax and fees.”

“Fuck, are you serious?”

She furrowed her brow. “Very.”

“Goddamnit,” he huffed, digging for his wallet. He handed her his credit card only half-begrudgingly, just ready to hurry through the security gates to departure. Just ready to _get_ to her.

He scowled at the back of the attendant’s computer the entire time she was running his card. He thought to himself that when he got Rey back— which he _would—_ he was going to spank her silly for this. That thought alone gave him reason to smile. Even if only a little.

It took what felt like an _infinite_ amount of time for her to finally hand him his card back along with all the necessary documents for his stupid fucking flight. He had to force himself not to snatch them away, thanking her politely and turning on his heel to return to the same line he’d come from.

The officer from earlier gives him a little smirk when he spots Ben. “Boarding pass?”

“Yes, I have a damn boarding pass.”

“Hey, I don’t make the rules.”

He took Ben’s paperwork, looking it over before returning it after a moment. He gestured towards Ben’s feet then. “I’m going to need you to take off your shoes. Put them and anything metal into the bin there.”

Ben’s eye twitched a little, impatience brewing in him as he complied.

It took two tries to get Ben completely through the line, _finally_ coming out on the other side and free to find Rey. He scanned the screen above him, squinting as he searched for Rey’s flight using the information he’d gotten from Poe.

He spotted her gate number, taking off in the appropriate direction, and silently trying to calm his nerves. His mind buzzed with possible ways to convince her— fuck, the idea to just haul her over his shoulder and carry her out flashed through his head and didn’t sound like the worst idea.

“ _Last call for flight 5956, last call for flight 5956.”_

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

He took off in a run, not caring at that point what people thought and ignoring the fading voice of a guard who warned that he slow down. He had to get there. This couldn’t be the end of it, and if he let her get on that plane— it felt like it would be.

He had to push and shove and endure several obscenities tossed his way, but after what felt like a lifetime he found himself nearing the end of the long hall. A man who seemed to have spent a particularly long time in the airport bar threatened to ruin everything when Ben almost collided with his stumbling figure, but Ben was just able to circumvent around him.

Finally, _finally_ he spotted the attendant near the gate, noticing the closed door and beginning to panic.

She turned when she spotted him, giving him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry sir, we’ve completed boarding for this flight.”

“No. Listen. I _have_ to talk to someone on this flight.”

“I’m sorry sir,” she frowned. “That won’t be possible.”

“There has to be something you can do.”

She must have sensed his desperation, her brows furrowing in pity as she reached for a phone at her counter. “Just one second.”

She dialed a number, holding it to her ear. “Yes, has flight 5956 taken off yet?” A slight pause. “Yes. Okay. I see. Well, thank you for checking.”

She grimaced when she hung up the phone, and he knew by her expression what she intended to say, but it didn’t soften the blow. “I’m sorry, sir. That flight has already begun departure.”

“It can’t have.” He knew she wouldn’t lie, but it didn’t feel real.

Her eyes softened, recognizing his distress and pointing towards the wide wall of windows that overlooked the runway. “That’s it just there, actually.”

He turned to see a plane just beginning to make its way down the runway, and he made heavy steps towards the window to watch it go. It took off from the ground as if it were nothing, as if it weren’t taking his entire heart with it.

This couldn’t be how their story ended. It didn’t feel right.

He watched the plane ascend with a sinking feeling in his stomach, a heaviness in his chest that threatened to suffocate him.

He could blame himself for not having picked up on her fear immediately. He could blame Poe’s driving. He could blame the TSA officer or the ticket sales lady. He could blame the crowds or the drunk man or the gate attendant. He could even blame _Rey._

But it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter who was at fault.

It just mattered that she was gone.

* * *

“I talked to Finn,” Poe was saying, but Ben could barely focus on his words. “He’s always leaving his damn phone behind. He felt so bad.”

Ben stared out the window morosely, watching the rain that had begun to fall when he stepped out of the airport and thinking how appropriate it was.

Poe continued, “He said she wouldn’t even let him walk her in. Said she was very emotional but didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe she just needs a little time, guy. You can call her when she gets home.”

Ben still didn’t say anything. He didn’t see the point, really. He’d never felt hopelessness like this. It felt like this was a finality. That Rey had made a choice here, and that choice wasn’t him.

It felt like this was goodbye.

“...and when we get back to the hotel we can—”

“I don’t want to go back to the hotel,” Ben said finally. “Take me to the bar.”

“Come on, man. That’s not going to solve anything.”

“Just take me there.”

Poe didn’t say anything else, seeming to sense Ben wasn’t in the mood to talk and continuing down the road. They didn’t speak until Poe pulled up outside the bar, Ben declining his offer for Poe to come in with him. He just wanted to be alone.

The rain was coming down in sheets now, and even the short sprint from the rental car to the bar entrance left him shaking his head as water flung from his now drenched hair. Perfect. That’s just about how this day was going.

He pushed inside the door, the bar fairly empty considering the early hour, and he knew he was going to get shit for getting hammered (which he fully intended to do) just before noon. He scanned the room, spotting one of the bartenders leaning over the counter as he handed a drink to—

He stilled, not quite believing what he was seeing.

She wasn’t looking at him, quietly thanking the bartender for her drink as she put it to her lips. For a moment he could do more than stare are her, still not coming to terms with the fact that she was _here._

Someone called his name— who he couldn’t be sure, as he wasn’t really paying attention to anything but _her—_ but then she was turning, her eyes widening a little as she took him in. He was crossing the room before it even registered that he was moving, just needing to be closer, to prove that she was actually _here._

When he approached, she was quiet for a moment, finally offering a soft, “Hi.”

“What are you doing here?”

She bit her lip, holding up her drink. “A little liquid courage.”

“No.” He shook his head. “What are you doing _here.”_

She ducked her head, looking away from him. “I’m not even sure I can explain.”

He kept his expression even. “Try.”

“I heard you last night. With Hux.” He frowned as he tried to recall what she was talking about, Rey continuing and saving him the trouble. “I didn’t know. That you were practically through the process of re-enlisting.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“ _Everything,”_ she stressed. “Or at least that’s what it felt like. It felt like you were giving up _so much—_ I didn’t think I could let you do that. Not for me.”

“That’s not your decision, Rey.”

“I know.”

“You should have talked to me. You didn’t even try. You _left.”_

 _“_ Technically _,_ I didn’t—”

“You _left.”_

She nodded, her voice quiet. “I know.”

“But you’re here. How can you be here? I watched the plane take off.”

Her brow furrowed. “You did?”

“Yes. I did.”

Her mouth parted slightly, her eyes widening in surprise. She glanced down at the bar then, thinking. “I was sitting in my seat. Thinking about you. About this. About _us._ I was afraid, Ben. I was _so afraid._ I still am.”

He remained quiet, allowing her to gather her thoughts even as she went quiet for a moment.

“But I realized something,” she said finally. “It hit me all at once. I realized that I _don’t_ know what will happen tomorrow, or months from now, or even _years_ from now. And that _does_ scare me. It scares me so much that I can hardly breathe when I think about it.”

“But?”

She took a deep breath, looking up at him. Her eyes were wet with tears even though a smile tugged at her lips. “I realized that as much as it terrifies me to imagine you walking away someday… it scares me even more to imagine never having you at all. I don’t know how much time we have… but I want whatever you’ll give me.”

He was silent as he processed, a bubbling sensation flooding him as he tried to remain composed. “So you got off the plane.”

She smiled, a stray tear pooling over her lid to slide over her cheek. “I got off the plane,” she whispered.

He shook his head, trying to bite back his grin and failing. “You’re an idiot.”

She reared back, looking indignant. “Excuse me?”

“A complete idiot.”

“Now, listen here—”

He didn’t allow her to finish, wrapping his hands around her jaw and pulling her to him as his lips crushed to hers. She sighed softly as she opened for him, allowing his tongue to slip inside as he crushed her against him. He felt her hands at his waist, gripping the still-wet t-shirt and clinging to him as he poured the torrent of emotion he’d experienced that day into his kiss.

When he broke away, he let his forehead rest against hers, grinning softly. “You have all the time you want, Rey. You have fucking forever if you want it. Don’t you know that?”

Her lips turned up at the corners, pressing another soft kiss at his mouth. When she leaned back, she studied his face, reaching to push a wet lock of hair from his forehead. “You look terrible.”

“Excuse me?”

“You didn’t check the forecast?”

He laughed then, remembering that first night. “Obviously not.”

She clicked her tongue, grinning coyly. “That’s just not smart.”

He shook his head, beaming down at her and pulling her close. “What am I going to do with you?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I’m sure you can come up with something.”

“Oh, I can think of several, but it might take me awhile to work through them all.”

“That’s okay.” She pressed her lips to his, nipping at his bottom lip. “We’ve got time. Apparently we’ve got forever.”

He reached to cup her jaw, tilting her face to his and letting his eyes pass over her features. Drinking her in. Memorizing every part of her. Knowing he was never going to let her go.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “We do, Rey. We really do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have two epilogues— but thanks for sticking with me to allow me this Ross and Rachel moment I didn’t know I needed. ❤️  
> 


	15. Sex On The Beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the first epilogue! It’s a little silly and half smut, but isn’t that the ending these two deserve?  
> Moodboard by the amazing [@ReyloWarrior](https://twitter.com/ReyloWarrior)! ❤️

* * *

 

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Ben turned around from his place behind the bar, met with chestnut waves and pink mouth and wide, hazel eyes that sometimes still kept him up at night.  

He quirked an eyebrow. “Not very often someone offers to buy the bartender a drink. What are you buying me?”

“Hm… how about a Sex on the Beach? You look like you could use one of those.”

His lips turned up in a grin. “Oh, do I now?”

She nodded. “I can always tell.”

He leaned over the bar, his grin widening as he neared closer. “And what if I said I _could_ use some of that.”

Rey tapped a finger to her chin, pretending to be lost in thought. “That could be arranged.”

“Oh, do you do this often?”

“Mm, only once actually. A long time ago.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Do you regret it?”

“Not even for a second.”

“Well… how can I say no to that?”

“I swear to God,” Poe interrupted suddenly, leaning over the bar. “It’s one night. You can go without boning for _one night.”_

Rey laughed, shrugging. “You’re the one who sent me to the bar.”

“To get us _drinks—_ not to flirt with your fiancé.”

“I can’t help it if he looks good behind there,” she laughed.

“What are you doing back there anyway?” Poe’s brow furrowed. “Isn’t the perk of owning the place that you can get _other_ people to work?”

Ben shrugged as he tossed a towel over his shoulder. “They’re just so swamped tonight. It isn’t their fault no one does it quite as well as I can.” He sent a wink towards Rey. “Right?”

Poe made a gagging noise, shaking his head. “Suddenly I am very upset that I had any part in the two of you.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Spare me, you drove me to an airport. _When,_ I might add, I tried to drive myself. Are you ever going to stop mentioning it?”

“Fuck no,” Poe scoffed. “It’s going in my toast tomorrow.”

Ben grimaced. “Is it too late to ask Finn to be my best man instead?”

“I think it is,” Rey laughed.

“Whatever,” Poe huffed. “I’m going back to the table.” He turned back just as he began to leave, flashing them a look of warning. “And I know all about the storeroom. Don’t you dare, you animals.”

Rey chuckled as Poe walked away, and Ben just shook his head. “Talk about a cockblock.”

“Rose assured me that spending the night apart the night before the wedding would make it more special.”

Ben scoffed. “Obviously Rose doesn’t know what it’s like to be inside you. _Every_ fucking time is special.”

“Okay, first of all, _gross_ ,” Rey snorted. “Second, I guess that’s… sweet?”

“Only the best for you,” he grinned.

“You’re impossible. Come back to the table. They can handle it.”

“So bossy. You’re not supposed to boss me around until _after_ the wedding.”

“You’ve been bossy since the day I met you— and I’ve been suffering silently for the last year with it. You can take it.”

“ _Suffering?”_ Ben rounded the bar with an incredulous look.

Rey winked as she took his hand. “It’s been really hard.”

He pulled her close, lips at her ear and a little growl escaping him. “Just wait. I’ll show you hard.”

“It’s _one_ night, guys,” Poe yelled from across the bar, and they both laughed as Rey pulled Ben back to their table.

He couldn’t _actually_ believe it had been an entire year. That just over one year ago he hadn’t even known her. Couldn’t have known she’d come storming into his life to change it from the ground up. She’d rearranged everything he’d ever known, everything he thought he’d wanted paling in comparison to everything he now had. Everything with _her._

“I never knew you to be such a buzzkill,” Hux was teasing Poe as they took their chairs.

“Listen,” Poe huffs. “If _I_ had to follow this dumb tradition, everyone should have to.”

Finn’s brow wrinkled. “I’m sorry, but you and I both know you snuck—”

“Shut up, Finn,” Poe warned, clapping a hand over his husband’s mouth. “I’m just saying it wouldn’t kill these two to be a little less nauseating.”

“I for one, plan to be _exponentially_ more nauseating,” Ben said cheekily.

“Like it’s hard.” Rey rolled her eyes, and Ben gripped her tight to pull her close.

“I told you, sweetheart. I’ll _show_ you—”

She elbowed him in the side, a sharp _oomph_ escaping him as he went quiet. Rose began to complain about it being past her bedtime, and Hux shushed anyone who had anything to say about it. He rubbed her swollen belly, easing her from her chair and quickly bidding everyone goodnight before ushering his wife from the bar.

Somehow Ben was sure he was going to make an excellent father— if his attention to Rose was any indication.

Ben’s lips found her ear as Finn and Poe began to argue playfully about something, his voice low and tempting as it washed over the shell. “Do you really think I’m going to go without fucking my _fiancé_ one last time?”

She shook her head. “Would you be the man I fell in love with if I thought that?”

“Are you going to pretend you don’t want to?”

“I didn’t say that…” she grinned. “You know… I do believe there is _one_ thing we still haven’t tried.”

His mouth curled into a grin, and suddenly he couldn’t get out of this bar fast enough.

* * *

“People are going to catch us.”

Ben shushed her, tugging at her yoga pants. “No they won’t.”

“The hotel is _right there.”_

 _“_ This was your idea.”

“It was more of a snarky _suggestion.”_

He wasn’t listening— too busy freeing her of her top. He worked like a man on a mission, stripping her in record time as she lay spread out over the blanket.

“Ben,” she huffed. “I don’t want anyone to— _ah.”_

He flattened his tongue over her nipple, circling the taut bud before pulling it into his mouth. Rey’s fingers tangled into his hair, all thoughts of being caught forgotten.

“No one is going to catch us,” he murmured as he rolled a nipple between his fingers. “Look at those rocks. No one can see us here. Plus it’s so _dark.”_

She sighed sweetly, arching her back into his waiting mouth as he devoted attention to her breasts. “Besides,” he scoffed. “You think I would let anyone see you like this? All stripped and needy? This is mine. No one else’s.”

“Yes,” she breathed. “Yours.”

He loved her like this, spread out and waiting for him to give her pleasure. He would never get tired of it. Every single time was somehow better than the last, and yet every time felt like the first time.

He nudged her thighs apart, running his fingers along her slit to find her already so wet for him. For a moment, he couldn’t decide whether he wanted his mouth there or his cock. Then she whimpered softly, his fingers catching the swollen bud of her clit, and his cock made the decision for him.

He pushed out of his shorts, kicking them away as his briefs followed before tearing his shirt over his head and lowering his body over hers.

He could hear the rolling of waves beyond the shoreline, suddenly struck with the thought of what he _would_ do if someone came upon them. But Rey’s lips were on his, her fingers in his hair and when he began to push inside her— there was little room to think of much else.

It felt like it had taken a lifetime to get here, and yet it felt like it had been only a day. When he close his eyes, he could still see her at the bar that first time— so damn _grumpy._ He could hardly remember what his life had been before that moment. There was only this. Only _her._

She clung to him tightly as he moved inside her, tiny sounds escaping her that washed over him to heat him further. He gripped her hips, pulling her onto his cock as he slammed into her, the sand beneath the blanket molding to her body.

“ _Ben.”_

“ _Fuck,”_ he grated. “It’s so good. It’s always so _fucking_ good. Tell me you feel that, Rey.”

“I do,” she breathed. “I feel it.”

He mouthed at her throat, his lips nipping at the slim column as he thrusted deep enough to make her cry out. Her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer as she silently begged for _harder._

There was no way to know how many times he’d had her like this. Every chance he’s been able over the last year… and it still wasn't enough. It would _never_ be enough.

He could feel how close she was, knowing the signs of her body as well as his own now. He could hear it in her sharp gasps as they increased in tempo, feel it in the way her body tightened beneath him— she was _right there—_ and he needed to feel her come apart around him.

He had become addicted to the way she fell over the edge— a hopeless addict for the way her body trembled and knowing _he did that._

That time was no different, her cunt gripping him like a vice as she shook quietly. She was so fucking _beautiful_ like that— eyes shut and lips parted— it was enough to send him tumbling after her. It was always _just enough._

He grunted through his orgasm, holding her close as his cock twitched heavily inside her, filling her. She clung to him through it all, her fingers gripping his hair tight as he told her over and over how much he loved her.

After, they lay under another blanket he’d brought with him, Rey nestled under his arm beneath the stars, and he couldn’t imagine a moment more perfect than this.

“We should get back,” she murmured.

“In a minute,” he agreed. “Wanna stay like this for a bit.”

She squirmed against him. “There’s sand all over the blanket. It’s irritating.”

“It’s worth it,” he chuckled softly.

He turned her hand over in his own, his thumb brushing over the engagement ring there as he grinned to himself. He’d bought that ring one week after she’d gotten off that plane. He’d carried it around every day and until he knew she was ready for it.

He still remembered the moment when he’d just _known_ — wasting no time in asking. Hell, he’d practically _shouted_ the question at her. He remembered the way she’d cried. The way she’d flung herself into his arms as she muttered a stream of broken _yes’s._

He didn’t know how those things were supposed to go, but he felt like theirs was as close to perfect as you could get.

“Tomorrow I get to do this all over again with my _wife.”_

“Yeah,” she laughed. “Then it’s a downward slide to daytime television and lukewarm lovemaking. Right?”

“I feel like lukewarm lovemaking with you would still be hotter than even the hottest lovemaking with anyone else.”

“Wow, such a gentleman.”

“Only the best.”

He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand, pulling her a little closer. “You know,” he grinned. “There’s really only one thing we still need to know.”

She leaned up on her elbow, looking down at him in confusion. “What?”

“ _Did_ the sex on the beach help your attitude at all?”

Her answering slap across his chest was worth it, and despite her indignant scoff she curled back into his side with a grin on her face.

He pressed a kiss to her temple, never feeling more content than he did in that moment. He was going to marry this woman, and honestly, there’s not much more he could hope for.

He had everything he needed right there in his arms.

* * *

They were married on a Sunday afternoon, exactly one year to the day from when they met, with only a few close friends and family to see them through it.

Poe did _not_ mention the drive to the airport in his best man speech— but he did give a rousing musical toast timed to the theme of _The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air._

Rey wore a flower in her ear, ( _left,_ mind you), Rose let Hux dress himself, Luke _definitely_ got too tipsy, and it took only an hour for Ben to sneak his new wife away from the festivities.

They passed a sea of sunflowers on their way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more... it will be short and sweet. I’m not ready to say goodbye to these two! 😭  
> Also, when my wife ohwise1ne saw this chapter to beta, this was her response:  
>   
> and I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.


	16. Sunflower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was probably too short to be its own epilogue... but I needed it. 🌻

“Fuck, that _hurts.”_

Rey bit her lip as she tried to keep still, the stinging growing to an excruciating level. She could have never imagined that it would hurt quite _this_ much.

“You’re being a baby,” Ben laughed from his place beside her. He sat over a chair slung backwards, resting his chin on his arms that were draped across the back. “Literally no one cries this much for something so tiny.”

“Actually,” the artist cut in, “a lot of people say this is the most painful spot.”

“ _See,”_ Rey hmphed. “It’s justified.”

“I’m just saying,” Ben smirked. “ _I_ didn’t make such a fuss.”

“It’s not too late for divorce,” she warned through gritted teeth.

“As if you could go a single day without my—”

“Don’t you dare.”

The artist was downright laughing at them then, stopping his work for a moment to collect himself. He continued when he had his amusement under control, Rey trying her hardest not to whine as much as she would like to.

“So how long have you two been married?” he asked the pair of them.

“A month,” Ben answered.

The artist smiled. “Still marital bliss?”

“Most days,” Rey chuckled.

Ben scoffed. “Don’t let her fool you. She loves the fuck out of me.”

“I do,” Rey sighed. “God, help me, but I do.”

Ben beamed back at her, blowing a kiss her way as she grimaced through a particularly rough patch.

Ben watched the artist work contently from his chair, a small smile on his face that matched Rey’s. It had been her idea to do this, and Ben’s face when she’d mentioned it had been worth every ounce of pain she’s feeling now. She would never have considered this, before him— but it felt right now. To carry something with her always that reminded her of him.

Not that she needed it— he was in her thoughts every moment of every day. It still astounded her how much she felt for this man.

She turned her eyes downward to watch the artist work, her thoughts turning to their wedding.

She thought about the way she felt when she’d rounded that corner to find him waiting for her. The way his eyes had shined when she’d met him at the end of the aisle. The thickness of his voice as he’d promise to love her— not only then, but _forever._ How his kiss had went from soft to something altogether _not soft_ when they’d said I do.

She didn’t think she would ever experience a day as perfect as that one.

She found herself dwelling on it often— not yet fully coming to terms with the fact that it was real. That he was _hers._ That she would never be alone ever again.

Sometimes it threatened to overwhelm her.

It had taken months for Rey to stop worrying that he might change his mind. Even now she sometimes felt herself wondering what he saw in her. Why he _wanted her._

She might never fully understand, but it didn’t matter. She was grateful for every day with him.

She winced as the artist hit another rough point, but then he was smoothing the pleasant smelling soap over the spot, wiping away the excess and nodding down at his work. “Alright guys, you’re good to go.”

She beamed down at the finished product, holding it up for Ben to see. “Well?”

“You know, I have dozens of these things and I don’t think any of them make me as happy as these do.”

She leaned over the table to kiss him, pulling him close with her free hand as she pressed her lips to his. “Let’s take a picture for Rose.”

She held out her hand, and he thread his fingers through hers carefully until both of their ring fingers were laced together. The matching sunflowers just below their second knuckles lay side by side, and she held her phone high to snap a photo.

Ben glanced at the photo, grinning. “Do you like it?”

“I love it, actually. I’m so glad we did this.”

“So am I. So, how does it feel?”

She wrinkled her brow. “How does what feel?”

“You know.” His grin hitched a little wider, and she knew he was about to be a complete shit. “How does it feel to be a degenerate?”

She burst out laughing as she rolled her eyes, shoving him away. “Hardly. It’s just one.”

“You’ll get addicted now. You’ll want more. You’ll see.”

She considered. “Maybe I will. Maybe I’ll get something outrageous all the way down my body.”

Ben frowned, eyeing the length of her and shaking his head. “No. I don’t think so. You’re not stripping for anyone else.”

She leaned close again, her fingers brushing along his jaw as her mouth hovered just over his. “That’s fine. This one is enough for me I think.”

Ben’s hand curled around her nape, pulling her a fraction closer as he grinned against her mouth. “Yeah, I think so too.”

It was funny to think that there was a time not so long ago when she’d found the idea of marking one’s skin to be completely ridiculous. Now… she knew every time she looked at the tiny flower on her finger she would think of Ben and all the moments they’d shared that had led them where they were now. They really did tell a story… and she had found hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for coming along! I will miss these two, and I appreciate every single one of you for riding it out with me and being so wonderful. ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kylotrashforever)!  
> I made a [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/KTF_Reylo), come follow me!  
> [Tattooed Heart Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/6BKIst3E95cWtO1eVpW9Cg?si=8GvAN5R1QsaYIZvl1cm6eA)


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